Monday, May 17, 2010

Truly Beautiful Women Know Their Self Worth

I received the following email today entitled "To a Beautiful Woman."  It continues, "Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to share her 'beauty tips.'

For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,
let a child run his/her fingers
through it once a day.

For poise,
walk with the knowledge
that you never walk alone.

even more than things,
have to be restored,
renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed;
never throw out anyone.

if you ever need a helping hand,
you will find one at the 
end of each of your arms.

As you grow older,
you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself,
and the other for helping others....."

Audrey Hepburn was a true woman of beauty.  To have written this poem, she was also a woman who knew her own worth.  

I talk to survivors of abuse online every day.  Many of them are like I used to be and don't know that they have value to themselves and to others.  Self-worth doesn't come from what you do.  Self-worth comes from who you are.  Self-worth comes from loving yourself.  

I learned to love myself by taking small steps at a time. 
I learned to meet my physical needs by making doctor's appointments when I needed them.
I made dentist appointments and kept them.  
I learned to do things that I enjoyed like learning how to make quilts, taking a drawing class that I always wanted to take,  went to see movies to laugh or to cry, danced just for the joy of moving.
I learned to open my heart to those that I love.
I watched others love me until I could love myself.
I let God into my life.
I asked God to show me how to love myself.
I pretended that I love myself until the love was real.
I watched others who were loving and kind and copied them.
I read books about self-worth.
I learned what codependency was.
I stopped trying to control everything and everybody in my world.
I spent time with my children.
I spent time with my husband who loves me.
I stopped being the family hero.
I stopped trying to be perfect.
I read books on spirituality.
I did things that made me feel good about who I am.
I stopped those critical inner voices of my parents that told me I was bad and other things.
I just don't listen to them any more.
I used positive affirmations that built me up inside and made me feel good.
I spent time with people who made me feel good about who I am.
These are just a few of the things that I used to learn to love myself.  I know they don't look like much of a list but over time the way I felt about myself changed and I really did love myself.  I know that if I can learn to love myself, so can you.  I am not any different than you are.  Just take baby steps toward loving yourself.  You can do it.  Don't set yourself up with expectations.  Just do what you can each day and one day you will realize that the self love is real.  You are worth the effort.


Darlene Ouimet said...

I enjoyed reading this post today! I love your list full of promise and hope! We can change, we can learn our self worth and be who we were born to be. We can live fully after abuse. We are beautiful, spirtiual, valuable people.
Thanks for this lovely wonderful post!

Patricia Singleton said...

Darlene, thank you. Yes, we are beautiful, spiritual, valuable people. We need to realize this for ourselves and about ourselves. Many survivors are still struggling with this. That is why I wrote the list. Your own list of 10 things you changed about yourself is very empowering.

Marj aka Thriver said...

WooooOWWeeee! This is excellent. And I am such a huge fan of Audrey Hepburn--not just the actress, but the person, the woman. I love the poem and I love your list.

YOU, my friend, are definitely a beautiful woman, human, soul.

Hey, this would be such a FANTASTIC post for the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. We've got a deadline of Wed midnight for a Friday edition. Thanks for considering! :)

Patricia Singleton said...

Thriver, yes, Audrey Hepburn was one of my favorites too as an actress and as a woman. I will submit this one to the Carnival. Thanks.

Colleen said...

Great post. Love the list. I think I will need to print it out and look at it from time to time. God bless!

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thank you. I am glad to know that the list helps you.

Carla said...

Thank you Patricia~ your post is truly inspiring. It is wonderful to know you on this journey. Thanks for sharing your light!

Just Be Real said...

Pat thank you for sharing this post. Blessings to you.

Patricia Singleton said...

Carla, thank you. I appreciate you sharing my journey as well.

Patricia Singleton said...

JBR, you are very welcome. Blessings back to you. Have a glorious day.

me as i am said...

I love this post so much!! I love audrey's words too but thank you most for sharing your personal list reflecting your jourrney to self love. I needed to see this today. Heck maybe everyday. I'm struggling with this issue nowadays. Hugs and love to you!

Patricia Singleton said...

Katie, I have been meaning to tell you that I love your pictures with the elephants on your site.

I am glad that my article is helping you today. It was one of those that I didn't really plan ahead of time and didn't put much thought into writing it. The article came into being because a friend sent me the poem by Audrey Hepburn in an email and because loving yourself has been a topic of conversation in several places that I have visited this week.

Audrey Hepburn has always been on my list of very classy ladies. To me the truly beautiful ladies are always beautiful on the inside and maybe on the outside but the outside isn't really that important to me.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I just love this! Thanks so much for allowing us to share it through the blog carnival.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, you are so very welcome. Have a glorious day.

Angel said...


Thanks for linking me to this blog post :) I will have to try some of these suggestions to help me not to hate myself so very much.

Patricia Singleton said...

Angel, I am glad to be of help. I can remember hating myself for a lot of years because of the incest. Think about what makes you feel good about yourself and do it. I am sending your blessings and hugs.

Deb Estep said...


You ARE a *Lightworker* ...

You've brought such glowing, luminous beauty to outshine the darkness of child abuse and you con't to do that and be a beacon of ~hope~ for so many !!!!

My admiration to all the ....
~Beautiful women & MEN who come forth on your blog to share~

I was thinking yesterday of this awesome invention of the World Wide Web. 25 years ago a person had no outlet like we do today to share and grow with individuals all over the world. !!!

Today, some where an abused teen might get on the web and find a way out of the wretched cycle of abuse. Today some where a man or woman who might be in their 30's will look up abuse. They will find their way to the blog of an abuse survivor. They will come to know that there is hope, and trust and friends out there.

Undoubtedly you are healing yourself, and with the sharing you too are healing others. You Patricia and every single person who has the courage to share.

"Past the wounds of childhood, past the fallen dreams and the broken families, through the hurt and the loss and the agony only the night ever hears is a waiting soul. Patient, permanent, abundant, it opens its infinite heart and asks only one thing of you...remember who you really are."

This quote is from the book...

A Gift from Daniel by Karen Alexander ....

I have shared a chapter from the book at the link below.

VERY POWERFUL words about a woman who sees herself trapped in a bubble. She comes to understand that she created the bubble in the first place.

The book is currently out of print, but used copies are available at Amazon and many other places.

Chapter 27

Love & Light
Hmmm a 'Lightworker' too ;)

Patricia Singleton said...

Deb, you made me cry tears of joy and gratefulness for your friendship of the past few years. I appreciate your words and the way that you see me often as I don't see myself. Thank you. Sorry it took awhile to find your comment. My computer was in the shop for 2 days this week. When I got it back I had 350 emails to sort through. I was looking for something else when I saw your comment here. This is a beautiful ending for my day. Thank you, dear friend.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to point out that the first poem that you have on this site is often mistakenly attibuted to having been written by Audrey Hepburn. It was in fact her favorite poem and she often quoted it but it was written by Sam Levenson. It is entitled TIME-TESTED BEAUTY TIPS. :)

Patricia Singleton said...

Anonymous, thank you for the correction.