Friday, August 3, 2007

Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series---Introduction

I am doing a new series of articles starting on Sunday, August 5. This series will be posted on consecutive Sundays. This series will be called "Incest May Be A Part Of My Life". This sentence is continued at the bottom of my first article of the series. It says, "Incest may be a part of my life and it no longer rules my life. I am in total charge of WHO I am." This is important to know.

Even though I am writing about this issue, I am coming from a place of recovery. I am saying to my sister and brother incest survivors that I am in recovery and you can be too. These articles are not being written to cause anybody pain. They are written as a testament of hope and wholeness. Please remind me of that, if I forget.

In order to write these articles, I am revisiting my own childhood and young adulthood of pain. As a friend, K-L Masina reminded me in an article recently, "Pain will always exist - but suffering is optional." You can find her article at http://www.klmasina.co.nz/2007/07/30/pain-will-always-exist-but-suffering-is-optional/ . This is another great article by Kara-Leah. Hers is one of my favorite places that I go for inspiration. Check her out.

I will also be mentioning other sites that I have run across recently that seem to be supporting the points that I will make in my Incest series of articles. My feeling is that if the articles are helping me, then they will be just as valuable to others struggling with survival.

Each of the articles in this new series will start with the following words of warning.

"Warning: Reading the following series may be injurious to your peace of mind. They are intended to be. Without knowledge, we cannot prevent child abuse from happening. Go beyond this point at your own risk. Join me for the painful, frightening, emotional, freeing journey."

I hope that you will join me on this journey of discovery and growth. If you are a fellow incest survivor, don't be afraid to leave comments. Others will benefit from hearing you "break the silence".

Breaking the silence is an important first step.

13 comments:

Geoff said...

I will be following this article. While I have not been a victim of incest, I dated a very special who was for several years. It affected so many parts of our relationship that I could not have foreseen.

Still, seeing the direct effect of the pain it can cause, and witnessing someone I loved working to embrace the pain and move forward, learning how to love again, is something that touched me very deeply.

I'll be reading. And I'll offer my support for you strength in telling this story.

Best.

Patricia Singleton said...

Geoff,thanks for your support. I may need it. What I have written so far has affected me more than I thought it still would. I already have the next 2 articles in draft form with 2 more partially written. The first 3 including this introduction practically wrote themselves. I am doing one a week on this series so as to not overwhelm anybody.

You are right in that incest affects all parts of a survivors life even when we don't want it to. My husband of almost 35 years is a Saint. He really isn't but he has gone through every step of the journey with me. If you love someone, you don't have a choice but to be affected by the incest if you stay. He doesn't always understand and he loses patience occasionally. I lose patience sometimes myself. There are some days when you just want to give up because on that particular day, you just have nothing left to give. That is when you need the support of your loved ones. Thanks for your comments.

Patricia Singleton said...

Geoff, did you subscribe by email? If so, are you getting the articles sent to you. I tried contacting one of my subscribers today because the subscription process hasn't been finished and the email came back as the address being invalid. If it was yours, you may want to subscribe again. Thanks.

Wild Bill said...

Sorry to hear about your terrible experience. I think you are on the right track with this post and look forward to reading more.

Patricia Singleton said...

Wild Bill, I am not sorry for the experience and your compassion does make a difference. Thanks, I posted a comment awhile ago that hasn't shown up so here goes again with what I said.

Wild Bill's site, Passionate America is becoming one of my favorite sites to visit outside of my Spiritual community. Wild Bill used this article to be inspired to write an article that he calls "Daily Happiness Fact #18 - by Patricia. You can find this at http://www.passionateamerica.com/daily-happiness-fact-18-by-patricia/ Passionate America helps me to feel glad to be alive every time that I read his articles. I just subscribed to his site so I am looking forward to reading more. Check him out.

There seems to be an occasional problem with leaving comments and getting them sent to me to approve, if you leave a comment and I don't answer back, please let me know or resubmit the comment. Thanks. Love and Blessings to All.

Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA said...

Hi Patricia,
Thank you visiting my site and leaving a comment. I appreciate your courage in speaking about such a sensitive topic: incest. I believe our wounds, as we heal become the pillars of our ability to be wounded healers. People can not give what they do not have, but those who have processed their pain rise from the ashes of yesterday -- one day at a time -- to be an oasis to other victims of sexual abuse who hide in the shadows. We can only know what we feel safe to tell ourselves. I am sure your process will be an oasis to many who have experienced emotional and / or physical incest.

God bless you in your ministry to other survivors Patricia. You will be a blessing to them, as you are to me.

Godspeed to you.

Craig

Patricia Singleton said...

Thank you Craig. I am being blessed by people like you who are not afraid to reach out and leave comments about a difficult topic. Thanks.

Craig J. Phillips MRC, BA said...

Cool.

klm said...

Patricia,

I had goose bumbs all over my body reading this post of yours, and the comments that followed.

Sharing your path and your strength will empower so many others.

You are a wonderful woman, and I look forward to reading this series. It will be flagship content for you I believe.

Much joy,
KL

Patricia Singleton said...

K-L, all of the words of encouragement and praise that I am receiving from my readers means the world to me and lets me know that I am doing right in publishing all of this. It is especially powerful when my new friends and old friends leave comments like yours. Thanks.

Patricia Singleton said...

This article has been accepted in the Carnival Against Sexual Violence 30 which you can find at http://abyss2hope.blogspot.com/2007/09/carnival-against-sexual-violence-30.html .

Bongo said...

I don't have the perfect words..actually I struggle for words now...but just so you know I am here and will be here.....i will be following this series listening closely...with some fear of what I will see and hear..but Patricia I thank you so much for being you....I am here....As always...XOXOXOXO

Patricia Singleton said...

Bongo, over the past 4 years, I think that I have written 8 of these in this series so they are here when you are ready to read them. Know that they may be triggering. Do them at your own pace and if you need to talk bout them, I am here.