As a victim of the family disease of alcoholism and incest, I wasn't given choices as a child. All of the choices of my childhood were made for me by my parents and my abusers. I was even told by my parents that the adults had full authority over me as a child. I was told to mind all adults - to do whatever they said, without question. This one rule of my parents played a major factor in allowing me to be sexually abused by several adults in my life, one of which was my dad.
Knowing that I have choices as an adult has created a major division for me between being a victim or being a survivor. As a survivor, I know that I have choices. I know that I can make my own decisions. Right or wrong, they are my decisions to make.
Because it took me so long to learn how to make choices for myself, I place a high value on being able to make my own decisions. Being able to make my own choices gives me a freedom and a feeling of being in control of my life instead of letting others tell me what to do and what to say. I never experienced this feeling as a child.
If you would like for me to join your group on Facebook, please ask me instead of just adding my name to your group. Then it is my choice to accept your invitation or not. Please don't take away my choice by making it for me. That is too much like my childhood. I know that I can always make the choice to leave the group if I want to but it isn't the same as being given the choice in the beginning rather than as an after thought. I thank you for that.