Source: The New International Webster's Standard Dictionary, Trident Reference Publishing, 2006 Edition:
kind adj. benevolent, compassionate, and humane in nature (page 160)
compassion n. concern for the troubles of another; pity; sympathy -compassionate adj.
-compassionately adv. (page 73)
sympathy n. an agreement of feeling; compassion for another's suffering; agreement or accord; support or approval (page 267)
I left a comment on Lance's blog Jungle of Life recently that I wanted to share with all of you. You can find Lance's "Sunday Thought For The Day" on December 27, 2009 at the following link: http://www.jungleoflife.com/ . Lance's blog articles are always so uplifting to me. He brightens my world which usually needs brightening around the holiday season.
Here is my edited comment:
". . . Compassion is such a great lesson and a great way to move forward as a world. Compassion, like all great teachings, begins with the individual. As one person changes so do all of those around him/her causing a ripple effect around the world one person at a time. . . . Compassion starts with the Self."
The same can be said for kindness and sympathy when you reach out to others. The biggest lesson that I had to learn was that I needed to be kind, compassionate, and sympathetic to myself before I could be that way to you. Those of you who have been abused in your childhood may have never experienced kindness, compassion or sympathy from others so you weren't shown how to exhibit those qualities to yourself or others.
I don't do New Year's Eve Resolutions. I have tried a few times and they just don't work for me. I used to beat myself up for failing at these goals. You see no one ever taught me about goals. Resolutions reminded me of all of the broken promises of growing up in an alcoholic and incestuous home. I knew by the age of 6 that promises would be broken. I never make promises for that reason. This is an area that I can be kind, compassionate, and sympathetic to that little girl who learned the lesson that promises get broken. I can show her that I understand her fears and disappointments from the past. I can also show her that I will do my best to not disappoint her again. I can acknowledge that her fears and disappointments are my fears and disappointments and that together we can overcome them. We can move forward.
I AM going to be more kind, compassionate and sympathetic to myself and others in 2010. Happy, Glorious 2010 to all.
Patricia
Showing posts with label Lance of Jungle of Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance of Jungle of Life. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Finding The Answers---Do You Have Them All?
How do you condense one very eventful week into one article and not have it go on and on and on? You start at the beginning of just one day. I am going to start with today, Sunday, March 15, and go backwards. On the surface, my week doesn't look eventful. I was sick with a stomach virus and diarrhea for 3 days. Where was my week eventful? In my mind and heart, I made several important connections this week.
This morning when I opened my emails, one of the first ones that I read was from Lance over at the blog, The Jungle of Life. Every Sunday Lance does a "Sunday Thought For The Day" article. Today's article was the words and a youtube video about the song "Circle of Life" by Sir Elton John. The video is of Sir Elton John singing the song "Circle of Life" while you watch scenes from the making of the movie "The Lion King". You can click on the following link and go watch and listen to the youtube video:
http://www.jungleoflife.com/2009/03/15/sunday-thought-for-the-day-43/
Come back here when you are finished.
Sir Elton John's music was a hit starting in the 1970's when my husband and I were dating and then married. He has always been a favorite of mine, long before he became a knight in England. When "The Lion King" came along, I watched it with my children. I loved it and the song "Circle of Life". Both are so metaphysical in meaning. Thanks Lance, for reminding me of all of these memories today. This was a great way to start a glorious day.
Next, on my morning trip to the bathroom, I read the December 28, 2008 (which was also a Sunday) article (Hey, so I am behind. At least I am finally reading it.) of Daily Word, December 2008, page 42. It says,
"I am grateful for the constant flow of God's blessing in my life.
Gratitude
I welcome this day with a thankful heart. Beginning my morning in this way cultivates an attitude of gratitude not only for special occasions but for every day.
As I arise from a peaceful night, I give thanks to God for rest received and for blessings to come. This sets a positive tone, one that attracts life-enhancing experiences to me.
Sharing a simple 'thank you' with others generates good feelings. My gratefulness is contagious and becomes a positive, attitude-changing influence."
Next, I read this morning's March 15, 2009 Daily Word on page 29. It starts out with the words,
"Trusting in God, I am fulfilled.
Centered
When events do not turn out as I planned, I don't let myself become bogged down in disappointment or allow my enthusiasm to wane. In prayer, I bring myself back to center. I turn my perspective around so that I see things in a new way and celebrate the good that is always there for me. . . . ."
"Turning around to face my good, I realize that what might have at first discouraged me will prove to be the dawning of a greater, more fulfilling experience."
I will leave you on your own to gather what the above statements might mean to you personally. If you want to share in the comment section below, you can. I am still sorting through my own stuff right now so am not yet in a place of sharing it with you.
On the past few Wednesday nights, I have gone to an Al-Anon meeting with my friend. When she asked me to go to these meetings with her over a year ago, I didn't realize that I needed the meetings as much as she did. I don't live with an alcoholic. I haven't since I was 19 and left home. What I do live with is myself and my husband. Both of us are adult children of alcoholics. Those patterns of behavior seem to be engrained within both of us and still get activated in times of stress like I wrote about in last week's article "More Patterns of Behavior Means More Awareness" which you can find at:
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-family-patterns-of-behavior-means.html
At this week's Al-Anon meeting which was on the topic of "You are only as sick as your secrets.", I was aware of a part of me that some call "the watcher". A part of me was watching and listening to what was being said and to my reactions to what was being said.
Usually as I am listening to every speaker, I am planning what I will say when it is my turn, rehearsing it in my mind. This time, instead of rehearsing, I touched the part of me that I have been holding back from the group. To a degree, I do this all the time. I think we all do. It is easier for me to do this because of the childhood belief that I need to protect myself from you or you will hurt me. One of my secrets that I got in touch with but haven't shared with the Al-Anon group is that they scare me still. (I haven't shared it because as I was typing the last sentence, I just got it myself. So you can see, I am still figuring out some of the lessons that came at me this week.)
What I did share with the Al-Anon group was that when I came into Al-Anon in 1989, I didn't trust women at all. In my mind, women were more likely to judge me harshly because of the incest than men were. (This was my belief. I don't know if it was true or not but it was my belief.) For awhile, trusting women less than men didn't make sense to me because it was men that sexually abused me. What I said in the meeting was that I thought women would judge me harshly because the women in my childhood were judgmental.
My mother who was always angry but rarely voiced it. Silence was my mother's weapon of choice. I have attracted people to me with that trait until I learned that their silence wasn't a weapon unless I allowed it to be. I also found out that if I didn't act out their anger, then they were more likely to voice it for themselves. Voicing it makes it possible to deal with the anger. With anger came judgments.
My grandmother and mother were always angry at each other since before I was a child. I could always feel the judgments going back and forth between the two of them without understanding what it was about. I know they loved each other and they were also angry with each other.
I think that I have probably shared the story about one of my maternal aunts telling me that I was going to Hell because I was wearing shorts. I was about 5 or 7 years old at the time. A part of that child must have believed her because that is still a strong memory of mine. She was never one of my favorite aunts. I was afraid of her as a child. As an adult, I felt angry with her for being such a religious fanatic. Now I can see how unhappy she was. I can forgive her.
I can forgive those women in my life who were judgmental and who taught me to be judgmental. For me to fear being judged, some part of me is still judging me or I wouldn't be afraid. I can take this a step further and forgive that judgmental part of myself. She is still a child afraid of being hurt. I can take her into my arms and into my heart and hug her until she doesn't hurt any more. Usually my solar plexus is where I feel all of this. My heart is what feels this and hurts for the little girl. I think that I need to go and just sit with this for awhile.
I hope that by sharing the above process it will help someone else to heal what may still need healing. As you can see, I still don't have it all figured out for myself. Isn't that what this life is all about---finding the answers for yourself?
Patricia
This morning when I opened my emails, one of the first ones that I read was from Lance over at the blog, The Jungle of Life. Every Sunday Lance does a "Sunday Thought For The Day" article. Today's article was the words and a youtube video about the song "Circle of Life" by Sir Elton John. The video is of Sir Elton John singing the song "Circle of Life" while you watch scenes from the making of the movie "The Lion King". You can click on the following link and go watch and listen to the youtube video:
http://www.jungleoflife.com/2009/03/15/sunday-thought-for-the-day-43/
Come back here when you are finished.
Sir Elton John's music was a hit starting in the 1970's when my husband and I were dating and then married. He has always been a favorite of mine, long before he became a knight in England. When "The Lion King" came along, I watched it with my children. I loved it and the song "Circle of Life". Both are so metaphysical in meaning. Thanks Lance, for reminding me of all of these memories today. This was a great way to start a glorious day.
Next, on my morning trip to the bathroom, I read the December 28, 2008 (which was also a Sunday) article (Hey, so I am behind. At least I am finally reading it.) of Daily Word, December 2008, page 42. It says,
"I am grateful for the constant flow of God's blessing in my life.
Gratitude
I welcome this day with a thankful heart. Beginning my morning in this way cultivates an attitude of gratitude not only for special occasions but for every day.
As I arise from a peaceful night, I give thanks to God for rest received and for blessings to come. This sets a positive tone, one that attracts life-enhancing experiences to me.
Sharing a simple 'thank you' with others generates good feelings. My gratefulness is contagious and becomes a positive, attitude-changing influence."
Next, I read this morning's March 15, 2009 Daily Word on page 29. It starts out with the words,
"Trusting in God, I am fulfilled.
Centered
When events do not turn out as I planned, I don't let myself become bogged down in disappointment or allow my enthusiasm to wane. In prayer, I bring myself back to center. I turn my perspective around so that I see things in a new way and celebrate the good that is always there for me. . . . ."
"Turning around to face my good, I realize that what might have at first discouraged me will prove to be the dawning of a greater, more fulfilling experience."
I will leave you on your own to gather what the above statements might mean to you personally. If you want to share in the comment section below, you can. I am still sorting through my own stuff right now so am not yet in a place of sharing it with you.
On the past few Wednesday nights, I have gone to an Al-Anon meeting with my friend. When she asked me to go to these meetings with her over a year ago, I didn't realize that I needed the meetings as much as she did. I don't live with an alcoholic. I haven't since I was 19 and left home. What I do live with is myself and my husband. Both of us are adult children of alcoholics. Those patterns of behavior seem to be engrained within both of us and still get activated in times of stress like I wrote about in last week's article "More Patterns of Behavior Means More Awareness" which you can find at:
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-family-patterns-of-behavior-means.html
At this week's Al-Anon meeting which was on the topic of "You are only as sick as your secrets.", I was aware of a part of me that some call "the watcher". A part of me was watching and listening to what was being said and to my reactions to what was being said.
Usually as I am listening to every speaker, I am planning what I will say when it is my turn, rehearsing it in my mind. This time, instead of rehearsing, I touched the part of me that I have been holding back from the group. To a degree, I do this all the time. I think we all do. It is easier for me to do this because of the childhood belief that I need to protect myself from you or you will hurt me. One of my secrets that I got in touch with but haven't shared with the Al-Anon group is that they scare me still. (I haven't shared it because as I was typing the last sentence, I just got it myself. So you can see, I am still figuring out some of the lessons that came at me this week.)
What I did share with the Al-Anon group was that when I came into Al-Anon in 1989, I didn't trust women at all. In my mind, women were more likely to judge me harshly because of the incest than men were. (This was my belief. I don't know if it was true or not but it was my belief.) For awhile, trusting women less than men didn't make sense to me because it was men that sexually abused me. What I said in the meeting was that I thought women would judge me harshly because the women in my childhood were judgmental.
My mother who was always angry but rarely voiced it. Silence was my mother's weapon of choice. I have attracted people to me with that trait until I learned that their silence wasn't a weapon unless I allowed it to be. I also found out that if I didn't act out their anger, then they were more likely to voice it for themselves. Voicing it makes it possible to deal with the anger. With anger came judgments.
My grandmother and mother were always angry at each other since before I was a child. I could always feel the judgments going back and forth between the two of them without understanding what it was about. I know they loved each other and they were also angry with each other.
I think that I have probably shared the story about one of my maternal aunts telling me that I was going to Hell because I was wearing shorts. I was about 5 or 7 years old at the time. A part of that child must have believed her because that is still a strong memory of mine. She was never one of my favorite aunts. I was afraid of her as a child. As an adult, I felt angry with her for being such a religious fanatic. Now I can see how unhappy she was. I can forgive her.
I can forgive those women in my life who were judgmental and who taught me to be judgmental. For me to fear being judged, some part of me is still judging me or I wouldn't be afraid. I can take this a step further and forgive that judgmental part of myself. She is still a child afraid of being hurt. I can take her into my arms and into my heart and hug her until she doesn't hurt any more. Usually my solar plexus is where I feel all of this. My heart is what feels this and hurts for the little girl. I think that I need to go and just sit with this for awhile.
I hope that by sharing the above process it will help someone else to heal what may still need healing. As you can see, I still don't have it all figured out for myself. Isn't that what this life is all about---finding the answers for yourself?
Patricia
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Link Love And Raw Foods
Hi. I hope everyone is having a glorious day. Sorry if you are tired of hearing me say that but glorious is one of my favorite words. I have had a glorious day myself.
I have been, most of the afternoon, on my computer playing catch-up with all of the blogs that I want to read but haven't had the time lately to do. What blogs have I been reading?
Stephen Hopson at http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com/
Phillip McCluskey at http://www.lovingraw.com/
Liara Covert at http://www.dreambuilders.com.au/
Lance at http://www.jungleoflife.com/
Teresa Silverthorn of Confessions of a Mystic at http://teresasilverthorn.wordpress.com/
Matt Monarch of Raw Success at http://mattmonarch.blogspot.com/
Dinesh of Spiritual Drifts from The River of Karma at http://driftings.blogspot.com/
Stephen Hopson does these interviews of other bloggers that I just love but haven't been able to keep up with lately. The interviews are brilliantly done by Stephen with a set of questions that he has the person being interviewed answer. Some of his questions really put the person in the hot seat. For example, Stephen asks the person what their dark side is like. I also like Stephen's gratitude articles that he does most Friday afternoons. They inspire me to remember to be grateful and be a better person for it.
Stephen is also the person that is responsible for me deciding to change my eating habits to eating raw foods again. On his blog, Stephen recommended a book by Natalia Rose called "The Raw Food Detox Diet". I bought and read that book plus a second one by Natalia called "Raw Food Life Force Energy." I started reading these books before Thanksgiving and sampled some of the recipes. My efforts were only half-hearted. I wasn't ready to give up my coffee, hot soups, cheese and bread yet. I still haven't completely. At Thanksgiving, with family visiting my house, I didn't eat any raw foods, not even the salad that I made because my brother-in-law doesn't consider it a meal if you don't have a salad on the table. The result was I ate too much of foods that I knew weren't good for me. As soon as everyone went home from Thanksgiving, I got a really bad allergy attack. It might have been bought on by the corn bread dressing that I ate. I am allergic to corn.
Two weeks ago after reading Stephen's blog articles about his own raw food journey and also checking out other sites that are written by raw foodists, I decided to make a commentment to go at least 80% raw in my diet. Today as I sat at my computer cutting up vegetables for a big salad, I sat and listened to videos on raw eating that Stephen sent me to in one of his articles. You can find these videos at the following website of Philip McCluskey at Loving Raw:
http://www.lovingraw.com/vide-series/ . While you are visiting the site, check out Philip's blog on his amazing 200 pound weight loss eating raw foods. I just started reading Philip's blog today.
Here is a list of some of the books on raw foods that I now have in my library in my home:
The Raw Food Gourmet, Going Raw for Total Well-Being, written by Gabrielle Chavez
The Raw Truth --- The Art of Preparing Living Foods --- , written by Jeremy A. Safron
The Raw Gourmet, written by Nomi Shannon
Living in the Raw Gourmet, written by Rose Lee Calabro
Green For Life, written by Victoria Boutenko
Rawsome, Maximizing Health, Energy, and Culinary Delight with the Raw Foods Diet, written by Brigitte Mars
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw, written by Mark Reinfeld, Bo Rinaldi, and Jennifer Murray
Here is one on Juicing:
Juicing for Life, A Guide to the Health Benefits of FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLE JUICING, written by Cherie Calbom, M. S. and Maureen Keane, M. S., C. N.
Here are two on Sprouting:
The Sprout Garden, The Indoor Grower's Guide to Gourmet Sprouts, written by Mark M. Braunstein
The Complete Sprouting Cookbook, written by Karen Cross Whyte (I have had this book a long time and it does actually cook most of the recipes but it gives me information about sprouting that is useful.)
My favorite book is Green For Life. It has some delicious smoothie recipes in the back of the book that will keep me experimenting for a long time. It also contains information on nutrition that I haven't read before.
Deb Estep of the blog Deb_Inside has given me some link love today with an article that she wrote about my article "Kindness---Why Is It Easier To Be Kind To Strangers?" Thanks, Deb, you are truly one of the kindest people that I know online. Her article called "Stop Shooting Arrows - Words" is found at:
http://deb_inside.typepad.com/deb_inside/2009/01/stop-shooting-arrows-words.html.
I have gotten some really good comments on my article that you can click on the following link and read:
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/01/kindness-why-is-it-easier-to-be-kind-to.html .
Thanks to all of my commenters on my blog. I am truly grateful to you. Your comments add more richness to my articles with your humor and your wisdom.
Patricia
I have been, most of the afternoon, on my computer playing catch-up with all of the blogs that I want to read but haven't had the time lately to do. What blogs have I been reading?
Stephen Hopson at http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com/
Phillip McCluskey at http://www.lovingraw.com/
Liara Covert at http://www.dreambuilders.com.au/
Lance at http://www.jungleoflife.com/
Teresa Silverthorn of Confessions of a Mystic at http://teresasilverthorn.wordpress.com/
Matt Monarch of Raw Success at http://mattmonarch.blogspot.com/
Dinesh of Spiritual Drifts from The River of Karma at http://driftings.blogspot.com/
Stephen Hopson does these interviews of other bloggers that I just love but haven't been able to keep up with lately. The interviews are brilliantly done by Stephen with a set of questions that he has the person being interviewed answer. Some of his questions really put the person in the hot seat. For example, Stephen asks the person what their dark side is like. I also like Stephen's gratitude articles that he does most Friday afternoons. They inspire me to remember to be grateful and be a better person for it.
Stephen is also the person that is responsible for me deciding to change my eating habits to eating raw foods again. On his blog, Stephen recommended a book by Natalia Rose called "The Raw Food Detox Diet". I bought and read that book plus a second one by Natalia called "Raw Food Life Force Energy." I started reading these books before Thanksgiving and sampled some of the recipes. My efforts were only half-hearted. I wasn't ready to give up my coffee, hot soups, cheese and bread yet. I still haven't completely. At Thanksgiving, with family visiting my house, I didn't eat any raw foods, not even the salad that I made because my brother-in-law doesn't consider it a meal if you don't have a salad on the table. The result was I ate too much of foods that I knew weren't good for me. As soon as everyone went home from Thanksgiving, I got a really bad allergy attack. It might have been bought on by the corn bread dressing that I ate. I am allergic to corn.
Two weeks ago after reading Stephen's blog articles about his own raw food journey and also checking out other sites that are written by raw foodists, I decided to make a commentment to go at least 80% raw in my diet. Today as I sat at my computer cutting up vegetables for a big salad, I sat and listened to videos on raw eating that Stephen sent me to in one of his articles. You can find these videos at the following website of Philip McCluskey at Loving Raw:
http://www.lovingraw.com/vide-series/ . While you are visiting the site, check out Philip's blog on his amazing 200 pound weight loss eating raw foods. I just started reading Philip's blog today.
Here is a list of some of the books on raw foods that I now have in my library in my home:
The Raw Food Gourmet, Going Raw for Total Well-Being, written by Gabrielle Chavez
The Raw Truth --- The Art of Preparing Living Foods --- , written by Jeremy A. Safron
The Raw Gourmet, written by Nomi Shannon
Living in the Raw Gourmet, written by Rose Lee Calabro
Green For Life, written by Victoria Boutenko
Rawsome, Maximizing Health, Energy, and Culinary Delight with the Raw Foods Diet, written by Brigitte Mars
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw, written by Mark Reinfeld, Bo Rinaldi, and Jennifer Murray
Here is one on Juicing:
Juicing for Life, A Guide to the Health Benefits of FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLE JUICING, written by Cherie Calbom, M. S. and Maureen Keane, M. S., C. N.
Here are two on Sprouting:
The Sprout Garden, The Indoor Grower's Guide to Gourmet Sprouts, written by Mark M. Braunstein
The Complete Sprouting Cookbook, written by Karen Cross Whyte (I have had this book a long time and it does actually cook most of the recipes but it gives me information about sprouting that is useful.)
My favorite book is Green For Life. It has some delicious smoothie recipes in the back of the book that will keep me experimenting for a long time. It also contains information on nutrition that I haven't read before.
Deb Estep of the blog Deb_Inside has given me some link love today with an article that she wrote about my article "Kindness---Why Is It Easier To Be Kind To Strangers?" Thanks, Deb, you are truly one of the kindest people that I know online. Her article called "Stop Shooting Arrows - Words" is found at:
http://deb_inside.typepad.com/deb_inside/2009/01/stop-shooting-arrows-words.html.
I have gotten some really good comments on my article that you can click on the following link and read:
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/01/kindness-why-is-it-easier-to-be-kind-to.html .
Thanks to all of my commenters on my blog. I am truly grateful to you. Your comments add more richness to my articles with your humor and your wisdom.
Patricia
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