Reenactment Of the 150th Anniversary Of The Battle Of Gettysburg, PA Vacation

I hope that all of my American friends had a great 4th of July celebration. My husband and I had a quiet day of relaxing back at home after an eight day round trip to Gettysburg, PA to participate in the reenactment of the 150th Anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg. We left home about 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon of June 25, 2013 driving to Jackson, TN where we ate supper at the Casey Jones Village Restaurant. I am going to copy the itinerary of our trips that I printed out for the parents of the 3 teens that went on this trip with us.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013: Leaving Jackson, TN for a 10 hour drive to spend the night in Lexington, VA. (Most of our days for this trip started somewhere between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m. to get back on the road driving. All of my husband Daniel's trips include what feels like a driving marathon to see how many hours of driving he can squeeze into one day to get where we are going.)

Thursday, June 27, 2013: Sightseeing at Stonewall Jackson's Home/Museum, VMI (Virginia Military Institute) Museum which features Stonewall Jackson Artifacts including the horse that he rode when he was shot and later died. The horse died and was stuffed 30 years after the war ended. We will visit General Robert E. Lee's Tomb and Stonewall Jackson's Gravesite. Then we will drive 213 miles to Gettysburg, PA to arrive around 6:00 p.m. to check in and set up camp before dark. (We got stuck crawling in traffic in Martinsburg, MD for an hour and a half because an 18-wheeler was turned over and blocking 2 lanes of traffic. We got our tents set up just as it was getting dark. The teenaged boy that was with us went to spend the night out in the woods with Daniel's unit - the 3rd Arkansas Infantry reenactors - for the weekend. The unit slept out in the woods with just a ground cloth and 2 blankets each open to the rains that we did get on Friday and Saturday. We set up a small dog tent - equivalent to a modern day pup tent - for the two teenaged girls next to our larger A-frame tent.)

Friday, June 28, 2013 - Sunday, June 30, 2013: The first battle on Friday is from 8:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. The last battle on Sunday starts at 12:30 p.m. Whatever time the Sunday reenactment ends, we will pack up the truck and drive to Frederick, MD to spend the night, about 34 miles from Gettysburg, PA and about 46 miles from Washington, D. C. (Daniel did not participate in this battle. He was still too tired from the trip to get to Gettysburg. We sat thru 2 rains in our tents. The girls tent and covers got flooded out with the second hard rain. We moved them into our tent with us. We were a tight fit for sleeping with them in the middle. Daniel and I cheated and had twin sized air mattresses which we kept hidden from the public. We put down their ground cloth and smaller hiking air mattresses between ours for sleeping. We shared our cover since theirs got wet with the rain. Later after the rains, we went to the sutlers to try to find a dress for one of the teenaged girls who was with us. The first battle that Daniel participated in was the battle for Culp's Hill, East Cemetery Ridge from 6:00-9:00 p.m. Friday evening. As spectators, we were too far away to see much of the battle. We could see gun and canon smoke from 5 different battle areas that were all going on at the same time.)

(On Saturday, June 29, 2013, a Cavalry Battle took place 10:00-11:00 a.m. We could not leave our camp because the road was closed to traffic so that the Cavalry could leave their camp and go to the battlefield. We could hear the gun shots from our camp. We also missed the only ladies activity - a fashion show and ladies tea - because the roads were closed. Our Confederate camps were about two miles down muddy roads from all of the activities and the sutlers [merchants]. The Union camps had a bus to transport its soldiers and their ladies to all of the activities. The Confederate camps had a hay wagon pulled by a tractor for transport of soldiers and ladies. Sitting on hay in a wagon is not comfortable in a dress with a hoop. The 3 times I rode the wagon, I kept sliding off the hay. The hay also got wet with the rains and the roads got worse with each rain.  From 2:00-6:00 p.m., the battles of Devil's Den, Little Round Top, the Wheat Field and the Peach Orchard were fought. The girls and I followed Daniel and the 3rd Arkansas out to the battle, hoping to get close enough to see the battle. We couldn't. We had to stop at the beginning of the battlefield. We saw very little of the battle. We were directed to go into the Saloon that was set up on the outer edge of the battlefield. Daniel's unit were not included in the whole battle so we left the battlefield when they did. We went to the sutlers where we ate supper and shopped. We found a dress for the second of the teenaged girls that was with us to use as a ball gown for the dance. The Civil War Ball started around 8:00 p.m. Shortly after the dance started so did the rain. The dance was in a badly overcrowded tent so I didn't attempt to dance. I recorded some of the dances that Daniel and the girls participated in. The teenaged boy stayed out with the 3rd Arkansas Infantry unit and fought another battle in the dark. The youngest of the girls got a headache so we left the dance an hour early and caught the last ride of the night in the hay wagon. It didn't make any more trips to the camps because the rain had made the roads so bad. My feet were so sore from all of the walking we did and Daniel was limping from all of the walking he did. I could not have walked back to our camp if we had waited for the end of the dance.)

(Sunday, June 30, 2013: Because Daniel was already limping just around camp, he did not try to go to the last battle. Instead we waited until all of the soldiers were out of camp and then we brought the truck in and loaded up all of our gear and waited for the battle to be over to meet the young boy who came with us. We left the reenactment site around 3:00 p.m. and drove to the town of Gettysburg to do a tour of the real battlefields. We left Gettysburg, which is called a borough rather than a town, around dark. We drove to Frederick, MD and spent the night.)

Monday, July 1, 2013: We will drive to Washington, D. C. with the Lincoln Memorial being our first stop. Other things we hope to see are the Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial, Vietnam War Memorial Wall, Korean War Memorial, Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, VA. At Arlington National Cemetery, we will see the Changing of the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. We also hope to drive by the White House since they no longer give tours. After these activities, we will drive to Fredericksburg, VA to spend the night. Fredericksburg, VA is about 46 miles from Washington, D. C.  (Rain started just as we got to Washington, D. C. Parking was hard to find within walking distance of anything we wanted to see. Daniel dropped me and the 3 kids off near the Lincoln Memorial and went to park and walk back. The rain came down harder. We were soaked by the time we made it up the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial. We looked around and took some pictures while waiting on Daniel to join us. Then we took some more pictures. The rain let up to an occasional sprinkle for the rest of the time as we walked around the reflecting pool between Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. The Washington Monument was damaged two years ago in an earthquake so it was surrounded by scaffolding and fences to keep us out. I had forgotten about the earthquake and had no idea the damage was so much. Got some pictures of the top of the monument hidden by rain clouds. We walked to the Vietnam Veterans Wall, the Korean Memorial display with the 19 soldiers, the World War II Memorial display which was new to Daniel and I since our last visit. We drove by the Jefferson Memorial and the White House without being able to find a parking place. We forgot the the 4th of July was coming up and people were already beginning to come into Washington, D. C. early. I am glad we were not there for the 4th. I don't care for the crowds that the 4th would have attracted. The last time that Daniel and I were in Washington, D. C. was with our own two children when they were 13 and 14 years old. Back then you could drive down Pennsylvania Avenue and clearly see the White House from the road. This time, because of the fears of 9-11, the White House was totally blocked off from traffic. We could catch glimpses as we drove by but everything was blocked off by concrete and guard houses to everything but pedestrian traffic and we could not find a place to park.  We left Washington, D. C. and drove to Fredericksburg, VA for the night. We drove thru more rain.)

Tuesday, July 2, 2013: In Fredericksburg, VA, we will see the place where the Battle of Fredericksburg - The Stone Wall and Marye's Heights. We will also see the statue of the Angel of Marye's Heights. We will travel 15 miles to where the Battle of Chancellorsville - the place where Stonewall Jackson was shot - is marked. We will drive about 472 miles to Harriman, TN which is just west of Knoxville, TN to send the night. (For those of you who believe in past lives and reincarnation - I believe that I was a Union soldier who fought and died at the Battle of Marye's Heights as pictured in the movie Gods and Generals. I retrieved this memory while watching the movie with Daniel. I had to leave the movie at half time because I was so overcome with sadness that I was sobbing. Daniel stayed and watched the rest of the movie while I walked home about a mile or so away. I was shot in the leg and laid there that day and slowly bled to death. That is all of the information that I have gotten about that lifetime and I believe it to be true. Many of my lifetimes I was a soldier. I will write another blog post about the ah-ha moment that I had in the Fredericksburg gift shop on that Tuesday, July 2. We left Fredericksburg and drove a few miles away to Chancellorsville where the kids and Daniel walked down to the spot where Stonewall Jackson was supposed to have been shot from his horse. We drove most of the way to Richmond, VA so that Daniel could show the kids the battlefield at Cold Harbor. It was raining again so we drove the route through the battlefield so that he could show them the trenches that the Confederate soldiers dug with their bayonets, silverware, their plates, hands and anything else that they could dig with to get below the fire from the Union soldiers. This day ended with us riding a total of about 12 hours through the worst rains of our whole trip to get to Harriman, TN to spend the night. The rain slowed down just long enough for us to unload our suitcases into the motel for the night. I forgot something in the truck and went back out by myself. As I was just a few steps away from the door of the room, I went completely still as I saw lightning flash right in front of me, instantly followed by the loud clap of thunder. I quickly went inside. Daniel said I looked strange. I didn't have time to be scared. The lightning struck so fast. We went to bed soon after to the sound of more thunder.)

Wednesday, July 3, 2013: Will arrive home after driving about 542 miles. Not sure exactly what time we will be home. Hopefully around 8:00 p.m. The kids will call if we are later than that. We won't have electricity to charge cell phones Thursday night thru Sunday. I don't know how long the phones will stay charged so if you call or text and no one answers that is why. (All of the writing that is included in parentheses, as these words are, were the things we actually did or my thoughts about our activities. Those not in parentheses were what we hoped to do and were in the pages of our schedule of events that I printed out for the parents and also a copy for me before we left so that they would have an idea of what we hoped to do each day. I also gave a copy to each of the kids to keep and possibly put in a scape book when they got home.)


We actually arrived home around 6:00 p.m. on Wednesday evening to have to unload a smelly truck full of wet blankets, sheets and uniforms that had been wet since Friday or Saturday evening. The kids got excited about coming home as soon as we crossed the Mississippi River at Memphis and drove back into Arkansas. They loved the trip and they were homesick. The girls have been doing smaller reenactments with us, closer to home for about a year and a half. This was the first trip that the young boy had made with us. He and Daniel had done the Battle of Helena, Arkansas a few months ago and the Battle of Port Jefferson with his mom and step-dad back in May. This was our first long distance trip with the girls. We did go to the Battle of Shiloh in Tennessee last April, I think it was, but we made that trip in one day of driving to get there. We drove two and a half days to get to Gettysburg with a little sightseeing at Lexington, VA and we took an extra day of driving back so that we could take the kids to Washington, D. C. It was just too close to not stop by there. Daniel has become a great historian with the history he has learned from being a reenactor and also in the research for his book, Standing on the Edge of Time. He loves giving history lessons and then verbally tests the kids on the stuff he tells them. Doing the reenacting makes history a little more real for the kids and for us. We had a great trip with lots of laughter and teasing and rain. We are worn out from all the time in the truck. We all learned from the experience. I have forgotten how young girls think they have to have a different pair of shoes for each outfit so I didn't tell them to take no more than two pair each. We managed to lose the bag of shoes somewhere along our journey. I have a phone call in to the motel we think might have them. They haven't called me back yet. Life is full of adventures if you are open to them and this was a grand one that I don't think any of us will ever forget. Have a glorious weekend.
Patricia

Purpose and Personal Power for Incest Survivors

The past week was rather hectic for me. We had family come to visit for 3 days just before we left Hot Springs for a weekend trip to meet up with friends from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. We met them south of Shreveport, Louisiana for a Civil War Reenactment of the Battle of Mansfield, Louisiana and the Battle of Pleasant Hill, Louisiana. That is my husband's and son's current hobby. They dress up as soldiers and march and participate in battles from the Civil War. None of us believe in slavery of other human beings. It is a terrible thing that happened and it is a part of the history of the United States in the 1700 and 1800's. I sometimes dress up in period dress as a southern belle and participate in the dances. We meet people from all over the U. S. and sometimes even Europeans who come over to participate in the reenactments. The reenactments are supposed to be a big event in England and Europe right now. It is another way besides video games for men to play war games. Cooking around campfires and sleeping on the ground either in dog tents or under the stars is fun to do occasionally. I would not want to do it all of the time. Actually I have done that as a Union soldier in one of my past lives. I died at the Battle of Fredericksburg, Virginia of a gun wound to the leg. I bled to death, but that is a story for another time.

In the past few weeks because of reading the two Byron Katie books that I mentioned in my previous two articles, I have started to look at any incest issues that I may still have that haven't been addressed. I have also searched out other incest or child abuse survivors online who have blogs. I found one new forum just for child abuse survivors and joined it. I have been reading stories written by other survivors and joined the discusssions that were listed in the forum. I also sent my last article "Incest Is One Of My Stories" ( http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/04/incest-is-one-of-my-stories.html ) to the April edition of the Child Abuse Carnival which comes out on April 17.

Since I am again working on my issues, I started reading one of the daily meditation books that I have which is written by Maureen Brady and called Daybreak, Meditations For Women Survivors Of Sexual Abuse. It is a wonderfully encouraging and yet realistic look at sexual abuse written by someone who has also survived the abuse. It is a Hazelden Meditation Series book. I want to share the April 6 daily reading with you.

"Purpose April 6
I will take the time to focus on my purpose and realize my path is being guided by my higher power.

We each have a purpose. Mine may sometimes feel elusive but that is not because it has disappeared; it is because I have lost awareness of it. My purpose is guided by a design of which I can see only segments at any one time. I trust I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I do not need to do anything but wait if I cannot see an open door before me.

One of my jobs as an incest survivor is to regain my personal power. My relationship to power was distorted by the perpetrator's abuse of it. When I am living in my past, I become powerless again. I feel weak, prone to victimization, and crumble easily at the thought of needing to take action. But in the present I can learn to come into my power. It is not a power over, in which someone else must be oppressed. It is the power of being present in a relationship of oneness with the universe. It is the power of my faith in the notion that if I seek guidance, I will intuitively know the next right thing to do. It is the power of deeply knowing my spirit is fully entitled to the life I have been given. I do not need to barter for this power by giving up parts of myself."



The above passage was so important to me that when I read it the first time, I put 4 large handwritten stars on the page to call my attention back to the page for any future readings.

Before I got into a recovery program, I knew nothing about personal power. I knew about power over another person. I lived my childhood up until I was 19 under the power of my abusive father and the apathy of my mother who played the role of victim. I knew about abuse of power and I knew about victimhood. To survive, I built walls around the inner person that lived in FEAR. When I first started in a recovery program, I learned how unhealthy walls were for keeping you out but they were also keeping me in as a prisoner of the abuse and all of my fears.

FEAR was the voice in my head that told me that the universe was not a safe place. FEAR was the voice in my head that said to not trust you or myself because you couldn't protect me and neither could I.

The opposite of fear is fearless. Fearless is taking stupid risks that can get you hurt or taken advantage of again. Neither is healthy. I have given away parts of myself because I didn't know that I had the choice to do otherwise.

Personal power means having an opinion without having to weld power over others or without using that opinion and power to hurt others. In the beginning, I did both of those things. I discovered that learning new ways of behaving sometimes means swinging like a pendulum from one extreme of behavior to its far opposite until I find the middle and balance where my actions are no longer extremes. Personal power is about not allowing others to hurt you. It also means not using your power to hurt others. Personal power gives you the freedom to be yourself and also allows others to be themselves. Personal power is not about controlling others. Live and let live is one of the slogans that I learned in Al-Anon that I use today.

For any child abuse survivors who are interested you can find a forum of child abuse survivors at the following link. You have to sign in with an email address and a password.
http://childabusesurvivor.ning.com/
Patricia

2007 In Review

I have been thinking about this article for a couple of days deciding exactly what I wanted to include. 2007 has been such a wonderful/difficult year full of emotions and challenges, full of new friendships and letting go of old friendships, moving forward and looking backward.

If I had to come up with one word to envelope the entire year, it would have to be compassion. I ended the year with joining a meme on Survivor Needs inspired by Marj aka Thriver over at http://survivorscanthrive.blogspot.com/ . I also wrote a recent article called Compassion, The Ultimate Act of Love as a part of the Spread the Love Now! Group Writing Project sponsored by The Three Monks. You can check out their blogs by going to my article at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/12/compassion-ultimate-act-of-love.html . You can also check out my other two articles that I wrote about compassion by clicking on the word Compassion under Categories on the right side of the blog page. For those of you who are receiving this as an email, you will need to visit my blog at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/ . If you haven't actually visited my blog, please do so.

What have I written about on my blog this year?

The categories with the most included in them are Influencial People which has six articles, each written about someone special in my life. If you haven't read any of these articles, you are missing out by not meeting these people who have played a very important part in me becoming who I am today.

Another category which has the most number of articles is that of gratitude. Again, click on the word Gratitude under Categories on the right side of the blog page. Gratitude is a very important subject to me. It is one of the things that keeps me grounded, connected and humble. There has always been something that I could find to be grateful for in my life even at the lowest points. An Attitude of Gratitude is a great way to live your life. Nothing can keep you down for long when you are in a place of feeling grateful. Why look at what you don't have, when you can be grateful for what you do have. I believe it is especially important to acknowledge the people that you are grateful to. People are the ones that make the difference. Gratitude is a much more joyful place to be than the victim role. Even when I am in the middle of emotional turmoil, as I have been for the past two months, I can still find that I am grateful for the challenges of life because their presence means that I am growing.

The most important and most difficult articles that I have written this year are those from my Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series. There are eight articles posted in that series. Those eight plus eight others are also included under the Category Incest. These are the articles that I have used to revisit my past, my childhood with all of its emotional turmoil of fear, rage, sadness and tears.

Why would I choose to revisit and stir up all of that?
Revisiting that gives me the opportunity to share all of the ways that I have healed from the childhood of abuse. Revisiting that gives me the opportunity to open the eyes of others that might be closed to the abuse of a child that they know. I also get the opportunity to share with other survivors the hope for their own healing and a compassion that can only come from someone who has been there. When you know that someone else has shared your journey, the words of compassion and caring mean so much more. Some people will tell you to just get over it without realizing, if it were that easy, we would have done it long ago.

That brings me to my next group of articles that you will find under the Category of Forgiveness. You will find six articles listed under Forgiveness that I wrote in 2007. I am so grateful that I have reached a point in my life that I could actually do true forgiveness. Some people never reach that point. For them, they are ok with not doing forgiveness. I hope that by sharing my own journey through to forgiveness that maybe someone else can reach that step. I recently read an article written by another sexual abuse survivor that was still in that "I am too rageful to want to do anything except hurt (KILL) my abusers." I remember being in that place myself. Then I was in a place of not knowing how to forgive and beating myself up for not being able to do it. Don't abuse yourself because you aren't there yet. It took me over thiry years to get there. Hopefully by sharing my journey to forgiveness, someone else can get there in less time than I did.

My highlight of the year, you will find written about in the articles under the Category of India. I was blessed with the abundance to financially be able to take a trip to India September 24-October 15, 2007. This was my third trip to India to visit Sathya Sai Baba. Some time in 2008, I will write some more articles on my visit and some background about Sai Baba for my readers that know nothing about this great spiritual teacher. Some of you will say, but you call yourself a Christian. Yes, I do. I don't see any conflict of interest there. Being a Sai Baba devotee enhances my Christian beliefs. Sai Baba himself says for us to stay home and worship God in whatever form we are comfortable with. He says we are all God. He remembers more about being God than we do. We all have the same ability to live life to its fullest, if we just remember Who we are.

Looking back through the year that this blog has been in existence, I have decided to choose some of my favorite articles to share with you. You will find a list of your favorites listed to the right on the blog page listed under Most Popular Posts. These are my favorites from each month.

My very first article that I posted on this blog was on June 1, 2007. The title of my favorite article for June 2007 was Three Of My Past Life Experiences. You will find it posted at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/three-of-my-past-life-experiences.html . This one is your least favorite. I know it really stretches the beliefs of a lot of people. When I wrote the article, I knew it would. I even said as much in the article. All I ask is that you be willing to be open to the possibility of past lives and reincarnation. That is all any of us can do with new experiences. I didn't always believe in reincarnation. My views over the past ten years have changed.

During July, I built on my Favorite People series of articles with writing articles 2-5. It would be difficult for me to choose which of those is my favorite. I love them all. Your favorite was #4 which I called The Most Influencial Person---#4---Birth Of A Dream which I wrote as a tribute to my friend Slade Roberson who gave me the encouragement and know how to start this blog in the first place. The book, The Secret, was very popular at this time also because it touched on The Law Of Attraction which is still very popular on the internet. I wrote several articles on The Secret during July. The first of those articles and probably my favorite for July was The Secret---Loving Yourself which you will find at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/07/secret-loving-yourself.html .

August started with the article What Good Will You Allow God To Do Through You? which you will find at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/07/what-good-will-you-allow-god-to-do.html . This was the month that I started writing my Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series. This series started out with a warning. Warning: Reading the following series may be injurious to your peace of mind. They are intended to be. Without knowledge, we cannot prevent child abuse from happening. Go beyond this point at your own risk. Join me for the painful, frightening, emotional, freeing journey. I am very appreciative of your response to all of these articles. Your comments have told me that my purpose in writing these is being accomplished. How many more articles will be included in this series? At this point, I don't know. You will know as soon as I do. As long as the words continue to flow, the articles will come. Of course, that is true for the whole blog, isn't it?

In August, Priscilla Palmer started a monumental task of posting the names of the personal development blogs that existed on the internet. You will find her list posted at http://www.priscillapalmer.com/priscillapalmer/ . I have found some really great blogs by going through her list.

Probably my favorite article that I wrote in August came from the inspiration of Carol Ann Meadows, a dear friend whose death on December 1, 2005, I was still grieving this December. The article is called What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business. You will find this article at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/08/what-other-people-think-about-you-is.html .

In September, I was up to Part 5 of my Incest May Be A Part Of My Life Series writing about the effects of Family Secrets. I wrote Part 6 which was Mixed Emotions Keep The Hurt Alive and then didn't write any thing else until a week later. I had been posting articles on Wednesdays and Sundays before September 16. I wanted the next article to be about forgiveness. Forgiven Is For You, Not The Other Person is the most difficult post that I have written so far so I will call that my favorite for September. You will find this article at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-is-for-you-not-other-person.html . The next article that I wrote practically wrote itself. I could hardly get the words typed fast enough after struggling so much with the first article on forgiveness. This article I called Prelude To Forgiveness. You can find it at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/prelude-to-forgiveness.html . These two articles should probably be reversed in the order that they were written but the emotions needed to be felt by me in Forgiveness Is For You, Not The Other Person before I could write either article.

September ended in pre-travel jitters which I expressed in my first four articles about India and Sathya Sai Baba.

October began with me being in India with no assess to a computer. My first article for October was posted on October 20 less than a week after I got home from India. My favorite article in October was called Expectations---India Trip found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/10/expectations-india-trip.html . For this article, I borrowed a journal article that I wrote on the 22-hour airplane flight to Bangalore, India on September 24. I wanted to share with my readers what my expectations of the trip were before hand and how much better was what the Universe created for me during the trip. You would be amazed at how many blessings can come from the most severe sinus infection that I have ever had. You will have to read my articles listed under the India Category to find out.

November was a month of revelation after revelation for me. Most of them I wrote about in my November articles. For those articles, you can click on November 2007 under Blog Archives on the right side of the page of my blog. It is a difficult decision to decide which is my favorite from First Darshan In The Ashram---India Trip, Let's Talk About Spirit Guides Teleconference With Andrea Hess and Slade Roberson, and Compassion Begins With Me. Just click on November 2007 and you can read all three. If you haven't checked out the blogs of Slade Roberson found at http://sladeroberson.com/ and Andrea Hess at http://www.empoweredsould/blog/ , please do. They are just two of the wonderful new friends that I have made online this year through blogging.

December brought me back to writing about my incest issues and back in touch with my feelings which I talked about in Cry When You Need To and Feelings. In December I won a drawing that Paula Kawal had on her blog http://www.paulakawal.com/ . I wrote about that free session in the article Journey Within Coaching Session With Paula Kawal. That article gave me some relief from the emotional rollercoaster that I was experiencing in December. You will find that article at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/12/journey-within-coaching-session-with.html . Probably my favorite article that I wrote in December would probably be my shortest also. Are You Judging Others As Less Spiritual Than You? is found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/12/are-you-judging-others-as-less.html . This is about a very valuable lesson that my husband and my higher self taught me several years ago.

I have completed 2007 with 3,246 views by readers of the 69 articles that I have written in the past six months of blogging. I have between 60-76 subscribers daily to my blog. I thank each and every one of you for subscribing or just visiting my blog. I know my figures are small and for the time that I have been blogging, I am pleased with the audience that I have slowly and steadily built around my blog. For me, 2007 has been a challenging year of completion. A friend of mine who is into numerology says that the year 2007 was a year of completion for everybody and that 2008 is a year of new beginnings. I look forward to 2008 with anticipation for what will come. I know that we will all have a glorious 2008. Thanks for sharing my journey.

First Darshan In The Ashram---India Trip

During our first darshan in the ashram, I was sitting and talking with my friend, Ki as we waited for Sathya Sai Baba to appear. A young-looking 40-year-old Indian lady was sitting close enough to overhear our conversation. I was catching Ki up on some of my activities of my life over the last few years since we last saw each other.

I was telling Ki that I got kicked out of the church that I have been a member of for almost 10 years. I was one of the infamous 12 that the minister kicked out of the church because we chose to disagree with her.

I went on to share with Ki that I realized that my anger with this person was way out of character for the situation that I found myself in even before she kicked me out of the church so I looked deeper inside of myself to see where my anger (I really should call it rage.) was coming from. Over a period of a year, I got information from a past life that I had shared with this lady and her husband of this life time. The first information that I got was of him as a river boat captain. In a meditation that he was leading at the church on a Sunday morning, I suddenly saw such a clear image of him in my mind. He had a handlebar mustache from the 1800's. He was in a uniform. A friend gave me the information that he was a river boat captain and that he was my husband in that life time. My inner voice confirmed the information. Over the next year, I received bits and pieces of information about this past life. The final piece came from a vision that I had of me being thrown overboard his ship. I drowned. With this last bit of information, I was able to say that I forgave all three of us for the parts that we played in that past life. I was no longer angry at either of them or at myself for the parts that we each played. My rage was gone almost from one thought to the next. It simply wasn't there. I know that I had probably fed some of her anger at me by my reactions to her.



The young Indian lady was avidly listening to my story as I shared it with Ki. When I finished my story, the Indian lady said that she had read the book Many Masters, Many Lives. I told her that I had also read it and it was written by Brian Weiss. She agreed. The book was written about his study of reincarnation.

The young Indian lady told us that she was at the ashram to enroll her 14-year-old son into Swami's School. She told us that when the Indian government would do nothing to help the area people get clean water, that Swami stepped in and got it done. I have read from other sources that Swami has helped to bring clean water, electricity, free education and free hospitals to parts of India when the government seemed helpless to do much.

The Indian lady told us that in July for two weeks she was very, very sick and in the hospital. She decided that she was going to die. She told us that there was a picture of Sathya Sai Baba high up on the wall at the foot of her hospital bed. She started talking to Swami's picture. He talked back to her and told her that it was not her time to die yet. The picture started making vibhuti (sacred ash which is a signature thing that articles tied to Sai Baba sometimes do, especially pictures). She said that almost overnight, she got well. The doctors did not understand how someone who was as sick as she was made such a quick recovery. She never questioned why. She knew.



The second wonderful story that this kind lady shared with us had to do with the birth of her son. She told us that her son has two birthdays. When she was pregnant with her son, her due date was on November 23 which is also Swami's birthday. Her husband told her that he would not be around on November 23 to take her to the hospital or to bring her home after the delivery on November 23 so she would need to have the baby either before or after that date. She was so upset and stressed by this news. She wanted her son to be born on Swami's birthday and she wanted her husband around for the birth and to take her home afterwards. She became very depressed over the situation. Her mother and aunt told her to write to Swami about the situation and her feelings about it. She did.

She told Swami, in the letter, that she wanted her son to be born on Swami's birthday but that her husband could not be there at that time. She asked if her son could be born on November 7 instead to suit her husband's schedule.

Well, on November 7, her son was born. On November 23, her son got very, very sick. The doctors thought that he would die and told her and her mother that there was nothing else that they could do. Her mother told her to pray to Swami and told the doctors to keep working on the little boy. I am not sure whether the baby actually died or not. In the crowd that we were sitting in, it was sometimes difficult to hear everything being said. What I did hear her say was that her son was born a second time on November 23. According to her, things happened exactly as she had asked Swami in her original letter written before the birth of her son. She told us that her son was born on November 7 and again a second time on November 23.



I thought this was such a wonderful story to be told on one of my first days at the ashram. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Some might even say these were miracles. These are just two examples of the kind of "miracles" that Sai Baba devotees from around the world report from their close association with Swami's love. If you are interested in more stories of this type, check out the list of books written about Sai Baba from my article found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/books-about-sathya-sai-baba-holy-man.html
Each book that I have read about Sai Baba is usually full of stories like the above.

A Tribute To My Traveling Companion---India Trip---Sept./Oct. 2007

I am home from India. I got home around 8:30 p.m., Central Standard Time, Monday, October 15, 2007 as scheduled. I am back in Hot Springs, Arkansas, USA, feeling spoiled and enjoying every minute of it. I appreciate being born an American more each time that I visit India and all of its hardships.

In this first article about my trip, I want to tell you about my traveling buddy. I could not have asked for a better traveling companion than my friend Sherryl. You met Sherryl very briefly in my article The Most Influencial Person---#5---Best Friends.

Before I made this trip, I knew that Sherryl is a great healer. I tell her that a lot. She is very humble about her healing abilities. Sherryl is my Reiki teacher. I have taken Level I and II from her and plan in the next few years to take Levels III, IV, and V from her and also become a Reiki Master like she is. Sherryl has incredible power in her hands. She is also an extremely caring person.

Sherryl sees things that I miss. She sees auras and has wonderfully detailed dreams most nights. She is a deeply spiritual person.

One day while we were walking through the ashram, she pointed out an older Indian lady who was having problems getting her walker down the stairs. Sherryl and I both rushed over to help the lady down the last few stairs. I happened to get there a little ahead of Sherryl. I moved the walker down the last two stairs and offered my hand to the lady. She thanked me and told us that she had been praying to Swami that he would send help to her. I told her that it was my friend Sherryl who saw her. I would have walked by and never seen her if not for Sherryl pointing her out to me. Because of my illness, I was more focused inward than usual and did not even see that the lady needed help.

I am writing this article to say, Thank You Sherryl for being such a good friend and for taking care of me when I was too sick to take care of myself. You being there with me made the trip much easier when I was too sick to cope on my own. Thank You Swami for having Sherryl come with me.

Sherryl and I have known each other since we met in a meditation class sometime in 1997. Each of our three trips have bought us closer together as friends.

On the second or third day in the ashram at Puttiparthi, I got sick with the worst sinus infection and cough that I have ever had. Not only my head and face hurt but my top teeth were very sore from the infection. I have never had my teeth hurt with a sinus infection. I usually get at least one sinus infection a year so I knew what it was that was wrong with me. My ears were also stopped up, especially the left one which is still filled with fluid.

Another story will be about the healing lessons that I received during my almost sleepless nights with this illness. I coughed really hard during the day and more so at night when I would try to go to sleep. The only way that Sherryl got any sleep was by using ear plugs and taking sleeping pills. I still managed to wake her up a few times when the coughing was especially bad. The last three nights in the ashram, I tried sleeping partially sitting up. It didn't make much difference. I still coughed. Another friend bought me cough medicine which didn't help either.

Before this trip, for several months, I have been experiencing pain across my back where my kidneys are. Sherryl and I both did Reiki on each other's kidneys three to four times during our stay in the ashram.

One evening, my chest started hurting with the coughs. Sherryl asked if I wanted her to cup her hands and beat on my back. I told her if she thought it would help, then yes. She would cup her hands and hit on both sides of the spinal cord but not on the spinal cord itself. She hit pretty hard. The cough did not turn into bronchitis. My chest quit hurting when I coughed. She did this about four times during the trip.

There were three or four different days that I didn't have the energy to leave our room. Sherryl kept me company on the two worst days. She bought me food and water when we were out. I lost over 10 pounds during this trip.

Sherryl, in addition to being a Reiki Master from the Usui Shiki Ryoho school, is a licensed massage therapist, and is trained to do Cranio-Sacral healing work. I will have to ask Sherryl to explain to me exactly what Cranio-Sacral work consists of. I know she works on my head and moves my neck very gently and it feels wonderful. I always feel better later. I know some Chiropractors do Cranio-Sacral work in their practices. Most do not.

Sherryl and I were in what felt like total harmony on this trip. We had a reading done for each of us by an Indian Astrologer who said we were soul mates and have many past lives together. At one point during our stay in the ashram, Sherryl asked me if I was aware that we were reading each other's thoughts and finishing each other's sentences. I wasn't aware of it. I was so sick that I don't think that I was aware of much of anything outside of my own body and mind.

Is this our last trip to India together? If you had asked me when I was so sick, I would have said that I was never going back to India. When I shared that with Sherryl, she said she knew that was what I was thinking. According to Sherryl and her dreams, we are going at least two more times. The next trip is scheduled for three years from now. She dreamed this trip into reality. I didn't. When she told me about the dream, I told her if it was supposed to happen, Swami would work out the details. He did and we went. If he calls, we will go again.

According to the Indian Astrologer, we have many more trips to come in the future. He told me that I would actually live there semi-permanently in the future with just family visits to the states. I smiled and thought, "Only if Swami knows something that I don't." It is in Swami's hands. If he plans it, it will happen.

Again, Thank you, Sherryl for the wonderful care that you took of me while I was sick. Without you, this trip would have been much worse. I hate being sick away from home. And, yes, I know that and the healing lessons that I learned are the reason that I attracted the whole illness. It is good to be home.

The Most Influencial Person---#5---Best Friends

My life has been so very blessed by having several people in it that I call my best friends. One of them died a year and a half ago. This article is to let them know that I love them and feel very blessed to have them in my life. Thanks to all of you. All of my gratitude articles have been inspired by Damian Carr whose blog you will find at http://soulterminal.com/ . Check out his site. It is called Be The Change. Damian very much lives and writes from that standpoint.

Carol died a little after midnight in the early morning hours of December 1, 2005. I miss her still. Some days I feel her presence close by. Some days, I still want her physical presence to talk to, to cry with, to be angry with. Sometimes, I hear her voice in my head or I hear her talking to me through a song on the radio or TV. She loved music. She had a beautiful singing voice. She believed that her angels spoke to her through the words of songs. The week after she died of a heart attack, I heard her talking to me so clearly through the words of a song in a TV commercial. I knew it was Carol. I had to laugh out loud because it was so surprising and so clear of a message that I couldn't be mistaken. The message was from her. One of her favorite song was You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings. It is one of my favorites too. Carol was my best friend and spiritual mentor and teacher. I love you, Carol.

Pamela and I met Carol at the same time when we attended a class on spirituality that she was teaching at Christway Unity Church in Hot Springs. Pamela had attended a Unity church in Tucson, Arizona before moving to Hot Springs. This was my first experience of a New Thought church. Pamela and I took several more of Carol's classes before we started attending church on Sundays. Carol taught me about Unity teachings, about angels and about myself. Carol had regular conversations with her angels. She did an angel reading and told me that I had 8 of them helping me at that time. Several years later, she told me that I had just gotten a whole other crew of 8 new angels to help guide me on my path. I would imagine that I could wear out more than one team with my spiritual growth spurts. Carol has been one of my favorite teachers. Through Spirit, she still teaches me today.

Pamela and I have been best friends almost from the first day we met over 10 years ago. She is the friend that told me that we were twins in a past life. I was just beginning to explore the possibility of re-incarnation when I met Pamela. Pamela and I went for a psychic reading once and we were told that we were triplets with another person in one lifetime. I shocked Pamela when I told her that we were con-joined twins in a past life. During a meditation, Pamela and I were sitting side by side. I suddenly felt our energy entwining on my left side. I suddenly saw a vision of us as con-joined twins. I can't tell you when we lived. I know that we were literally joined at the hip and that the family that we were born into loved and cared for us until we died sometime in our teens. I can't tell you how I know this. I just do. I sometimes get images and sometimes just a knowing about things. With this lifetime information, I got both. Pamela and I have had many lifetimes together. All I know for certain is that I have never felt an instant connection to another person like I did with Pamela when we first met.

Pamela used to get so angry with the people at our small church because, for the first few years, we were often called Pam and Pam. I used to laugh. Pamela would get angry and tell them we were Pam and Pat. Pamela left Hot Springs for 2 years and moved to New Mexico. It was a time of learning for both of us. Pamela needed to leave Hot Springs to realize that it truly had become her home. For me, it was a time of connecting with who I was without Pamela around. People began to call me Pat instead of Pam. Then when Pamela moved back to Hot Springs, we became Pat and Pat. Again, I had to laugh. People still seem to have trouble telling us apart. We really don't look that much alike. I think people have this problem because of our connection to each other. People just seem to feel that twin energy.

Until recently, we were such close friends that we did everything together. That has begun to change in the past year. Pamela seems to be gathering her energy close to herself as I am going through another growing spurt with my spirituality. When I am growing, I am sometimes difficult to keep up with. It is nobody's fault. It is simply a trait that I recognize in myself. I am like a sponge absorbing every bit of knowledge that comes my way until I am so full. Then I become a hermit and begin the processing stage where I turn inward to decide what to do with the information that I have absorbed. What fits becomes a part of my belief system. What doesn't fit gets discarded. To some, during this stage, I seem to not be growing. The reality is that this is the most important stage of my development. I am quiet until the next growing spurt starts. Then the race through life starts all over again.

Where this growing spurt will take me, only the Universe knows. I don't. At this time, I just have to go with the flow of the Universe.

Sherryl is also my best friend. She and I have grown together spiritually for over 10 years. We have been to India together twice and we are going again sometime this year. Sherryl was with me when we were both told to look inward for our spiritual teacher. She is a massage therapist and one of the most talented healers that I have been priviledged to know. I hope that if I tell her that often enough that she will begin to see herself as I see her. I have a lot to learn from Sherryl. She is my Reiki teacher. Sherryl is the friend that I travel the world with. Our first India trip in 1998 was the first time that I had ever been on an airplane. Our flight from Little Rock, Arkansas to Bangalore, India was 22 hours long. My husband told me that I could change my mind anytime before I got on the airplane in New York. Sherryl is a good traveling buddy. On the other hand, the suitcase that she took to India with us on that first trip was not. Sherryl's suitcase got lost. We shared what we could of my clothes and toiletries until Sherryl got her suitcase the fourth day that we were in Bangalore. Our next trip to India in 1999, that suitcase stayed at home. Our trips to India will be a future article. The friendship between Sherryl and I grew very strong in India. It has continued to grow stronger over the years since that last trip.

I love you, Carol, Pamela and Sherryl. You have all 3 blessed my life with your knowledge and your love.

I have 2 more friends to tell you about before I close this article. Both of them are people that I also consider my best friends. I told you that I have been very blessed when it comes to my friends. Both of these friends, Mary and Chris, come and go in my life. When we touch base with each other, sometimes after long absenses, it is as if we have never been apart. Our paths wind and circle and come back together for awhile before they separate again for a period of time.

Mary and I have known each other since around 1990 or 1991. We met through our mutual friend Kathy. We became best friends through our grieving together when Kathy was murdered in 1992. We were all living in Hot Springs, Arkansas at the time that we met. When Kathy was murdered, her family and friends had a memorial service for Kathy here in Hot Springs. When the family took Kathy's body back to Minneapolis, Minnesota to be buried, Mary and I asked if we could go with the family. Mary and I were roommates during this whole experience. We gave support to the family members and each other during that week of travel and mourning. By the time that we returned to Hot Springs after the funeral, Mary and I were best friends. Several years later, Mary and I both found God and religion again. Mary found Him before I did. I almost followed her but something about her church just didn't fit me. I know and like some of the people that Mary goes to church with. I will forever be thankful to Mary's church for giving her the peace and direction and love that she has found with them. They are good to Mary. They suit her need for God.

Soon after, I met Pamela and she and I started attending Christway Unity Church in Hot Springs. I found my church home and a relationship with the God of my understanding. I found a home just as Mary did with her Baptist church. Both of us have grown in our relationship with God. Mary and I will go for months without talking. When one of us reaches out to the other, it is like we haven't spent any time apart. We both still love each other. We just individually tend to get caught up in our lives with our families and churches. We occasionally get together for lunch to catch up on each others lives.

Chris is my last friend that I want to add to this list. He is my only close male friend. Chris and I are buddies on a soul level. He and I have had many past lives together in which we were soldiers togethers. We have a deep friendship. When I first met Chris, I started dreaming that I was fighting in battles each night, sometimes as many as 3 different dreams in one night. I never remembered details. I would wake up tired and know that I had spent the night fighting for my life. I didn't tell any body about my dreams until another friend and teacher told Chris and I both that we were soldiers together in many past lives. It made perfect sense to both of us and explained our connection. Chris has since told me that he felt that in my dreams, we were both fighting to save his life in this lifetime. When I first met him, he was just beginning to come out of post-traumatic stress syndrone from being in Vietnam years before. All I know for sure is that those dreams went on for month after month before they finally stopped and I could sleep peacefully through the night again.

Chris and I will go for months without seeing each other. When we do, it is like we are traveling parallel paths, each doing the same spiritual practices with slight differences. Recently, when we reconnected, we found out that we are both writing. Chris is writing a book on helping young soldiers returning from war to recover from post-traumatic stress syndrone. Since he is experienced with it himself, he understands where these young soldiers are. Chris is excited that I am writing articles for this blog.

Don't let anybody tell you that a man and woman cannot have a platonic friendship without sex involved. They don't know what they are talking about or they are just jealous.

My friendship with Chris, like my friendships with Carol, Pamela, Sherryl and Mary have all enriched my life so very much. I could not ask for a better support group than I have with these friends. They know who I really am and love me any way, just as I love them. Thanks, guys or should I say, Thanks, ya'll, since we are in the deep South.

The Most Influencial Person---#2---Survival

A friend and his 6-year-old son came to visit recently. It has been several years since the son has been to my house. As we are walking through the house, the 6-year-old whispered to his dad that he liked my stuff. Right now, I need to buy several more bookshelves to hold and organize my clutter of books and papers. This sweet little boy, with his child's wisdom and wonder in his eyes, looked up at me and said, "You must be rich." I laughed and then said, "Yes, in some ways, I am rich. I am very rich in friends."

This is my second article about the most influencial people in my life. For this one, I will take you back to when I was 19 years old and getting ready to leave home for the first time. I was just finishing up with my second year of college. I lived at home and rode back and forth to school with my mom who would drop me off on her way to her job every morning.

I met Althea that year in one of my classes. We were actually in 2 classes together. We were both attending a little junior college in Bossier City, Louisiana. This junior college started out as a pilot program that was located on one floor of Airline High School. We had a small student lounge at one end of the hall where the college students could sit and visit in between classes. Althea and I got to know each other in the lounge.

I told her that I was thinking about leaving home whenever I took my last college exam. I needed to find a job so that I could earn some money to pay for my next year of college. I had already been accepted for my junior year at Northwestern State University of Louisiana in Natchitoches, Louisiana. I had applied for and been accepted for a student aid loan and job starting in September of 1970. At that time, I was studying to teach Special Education in Elementary School.

Althea is about 10 years older than both of my parents so some people might think ours is an odd friendship. I have always been blessed with friends of all ages. I just love people. Althea has 4 children of her own, 2 sons and 2 daughters. At the time her oldest son was married and out on his own. The oldest daughter is 11 days older than I am. We became fast friends. Althea's youngest son was in high school when I first met him and her youngest daughter was 12 years old. Althea and her husband moved their family to Shreveport, Louisiana when her husband retired at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City the year that we met.

When I made up my mind to leave home, I didn't have a clue as to where I was going to live until September when I could go to Northwestern. All I knew was that I had to leave home or I would never be able to get out from under my dad's rule. My dad was a dictator, an alcoholic, and a rageaholic. I had reached a breaking point. I knew that if I didn't leave then, that I would have a nervous breakdown of some kind and totally lose myself. I was desperate to leave the abuse behind. I knew this was my one and only chance to leave.

I believe that God put Althea in that class for my sake. Without her intervention, I would not have survived. I told Althea that as soon as I finished my last test at school that I was leaving home. She asked if I would want to live with her and her family that summer. She said that she would help me find a summer job. I said yes. That night I went home and wrote a letter to my mom. I started to tell my dad that night that I was leaving and not coming home the next day. My mom interrupted me and would not let me tell him. I went to my room and packed a few changes of clothing and went to bed.

The next morning, I told my sister bye and gave her my letter. I asked her to give the letter to mom when she came in from work that evening. I hated leaving my sister behind but there was no way that I could take her with me. She was 16 and still a minor.

Mom dropped me off at school. She asked me if I was coming home that evening. I lied and told her I didn't know. It seemed easier than telling her the truth. I went to classes and took my last tests and then went home with Althea.

For the first day, my mom lied and told my dad that I was spending the night with a friend. The second night that I didn't come home she told him where I was. Mom called to tell me that Daddy was on his way to Althea's to get me.

My dad's oldest brother was a police detective for the city of Shreveport. Mom gave me his phone number. I called him and explained the situation and told him that I had left home and was not going back. I asked if he would come over to Althea's to help me talk to Daddy. He agreed. He got to Althea's just before Daddy did. Daddy, Uncle Odis and I went out and sat in Uncle Odis's car to talk. I was afraid to let Daddy in Althea's house because of Daddy's temper. He told me that night that if he ever caught Althea out on the highway that he would run her car into the ditch. I believed him. Daddy and Uncle Odis convinced me to go home for the weekend so that we could talk about my plans. I told Daddy that I would go home with him for the weekend only if he would promise to bring me back to Althea's on Sunday afternoon. He said he would. I thanked Uncle Odis for his help and told Althea my plans for the weekend.

I went home to a weekend of crying and threats and then when that didn't work, Daddy decided to threaten suicide. Instead he went out and got drunk and came back several hours later and went to bed. That was the hardest weekend I have ever lived through. I experienced fear for myself, for my entire family, for my dad in case he did commit suicide. I knew he was doing everything he could think of to keep me at home. I felt sadness over leaving my mom, sister and brother at home. I felt guilty for leaving my sister behind but I knew my dad would not let me take her. I decided I would not feel guilty if Daddy did follow through with his suicide thread. I knew I could not be responsible for his actions if he did decide to take his own life. I knew that my survival was at stake. I would have fallen apart and totally lost my self if I had stayed at home any longer. I was very close to breaking and I knew it. I knew that I couldn't be strong much longer before I gave into the fear.

I think that I was feeling deep echoes of a past life in which I did just give up. In that past lifetime, I remember the feelings of being so helpless to control my own life that one day I just went to bed and never got up. I quit eating and just laid there in my bed until I died of starvation of food and spirit. In that lifetime, I was raped too. In some deep recess of my mind, I remembered and I knew I did not want to do that again. I did not want to be so sad that I would just quit living. I also knew that I wasn't far from doing just that if I didn't get away from my dad.

My mom drove me back to Airline Junior College on that long ago Sunday afternoon. Althea met us there. I didn't go home again until just a week before I left for Northwestern State University.

Althea helped me find my first job working as a line worker in a cafeteria. What a wonderful job that was for a country girl with no special training of any kind. I was extremely quiet and shy. I was also the only worker there that summer that was below the age of 30. Everyone took me under their wings and protected me and helped me begin to blossom.

Althea and her family took me in, nurtured me and protected me and started me on my path to adulthood. I learned what some semblance of a normal American family was. They unofficially adopted me into their family. I gained 2 more brothers and 2 more sisters and a second set of parents. Althea has always been one of my best friends and my second mom combined.

Althea, I can't measure the love and admiration that I still have for you today. You hold a special place in my heart. You really did save my life that long ago day that you invited me into your heart and home. Thank you for your love and kindness in taking in that sad, lonely girl that I once was. You have played an important part in helping me to become the woman that I am today. You are one of the strongest women that I know. I love you.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy

When I left to go to church this morning, I had no idea that I would be writing a Happy Father's Day to my dad. This was inspired by what I heard my minister say in his sermon. Thanks, Rev. Joe. I hope you had a wonderful Father's Day.

Jesus tells His Father to "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." We can all apply this to ourselves and to our parents. I have heard for years in Al-Anon and ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), that our parents did the best that they could. I used to get very angry when someone would say that. Finally, someone added the following words to that sentence, "and it wasn't good enough." Those few words added made all the difference to me. My feelings were being validated. Rev. Joe today said "They did the best that they could with the tools that they had from their level of consciousness. I like that statement too. I feel that I have a higher level of consciousness than my parents had and I still make mistakes with my children.

I read somewhere a few years ago, that we see God as having the same attributes as the father that raised us. What fatherly attributes have you given your God, the Father?

I need my God to be a loving, forgiving, and compassionate Father. I don't need Him to be the physically and emotionally abusive father that I grew up with. Nor is He an angry, raging Father. My God is not a punishing, nonforgiving Father.

My God understands my needs and desires. He knows why I think the way that I do. He knows why I feel the way that I do. He is perfectly ok with me getting angry at Him. With my dad, I was never allowed to feel that I was angry with him. I often wondered if I would survive the wrath of my dad.

"Happy Father's Day, Daddy." I can finally say, "I love you." and not feel the rage that you acted out and I suppressed in myself. Daddy, I now know that I chose you as my dad before I was born. I also know that you were my husband in a past life so maybe I chose you as my dad so that we could both end the karma that we both attracted to us in that past life time. It has taken a long time and a lot of hard work to get here. I am grateful for the opportunity to grow that this lifetime has given me.

My dad died on January 6, 2001, alone and probably frightened and angry at himself and God. He was alone because of the life style that he chose. He was probably frightened and angry because dying was out of his control. My dad was a dictator. I was able to make my peace with my dad a year and a half before he died. I am thankful that I was able to face him and say "I forgive you."

As my consciousness grows and expands so could my idea of who God is. This is a God of my understanding and nobody else has to agree with me. I want to end with saying,
"Happy Father's Day, God, my Father." Hope you had a nice one.

Three Of My Past Life Experiences

Have you ever met someone that you liked or disliked really intensely?

I believe that the level of intensity indicates a possible past life between me and this other person. I know a woman that used to work for my husband. I have always tried to be nice to her, just out of respect for her as an individual. I have never liked her and if given the chance will leave the room when she enters. For the longest time, I could not figure out why my feelings were so intense even though I looked at them.

Then, one day, in my mind's eye, I saw myself as a woman wearing a long black dress and black boots. I was looking up at myself as I was hanging from a tree. I knew I was slowly choking to death and this woman was standing watching as this happened. I knew that she was the reason I was being hung. Then my feelings of dislike for this woman made sense.

I was then able to forgive the woman and myself for the parts that we played in our previous life together.

I no longer have any feelings of dislike for this woman. She is still not someone I would consider a friend and the negative feelings of anger and hatred that I once felt for her are gone and most importantly, out of my body.



My second story of a past life happening starts with my 29-year-old daughter, Christie.

She has 4 children whom I dearly love. Each time my daughter got pregnant (5 times since one was a miscarriage), I would suddenly be furious with her and her husband.

I could not understand why I was so angry at her. The intensity was blown all out of proportion.

After Christie miscarried her pregnancy, I received the missing piece of information.

I heard a voice say, "You lost her once before in childbirth."

I knew that the voice was right. I don't know what part I played. Was I her husband, her parent, I don't know. I do know that I was devastated by the lost and with each of Christie's pregnancies, I revisited those fears.

I shared this story with Christie and told her that she did not have to repeat this past life pattern ever again.

I felt that it was very important for me to tell her this, for both of our sakes.

With Christie's last pregnancy, I did not experience this fear or fury. We were both glad of that.

The feelings needed to be acknowledged.




My very first past life experience came to me in the form of a dream.
I didn't recognize it as such. A friend, years later, told me that it was a past life.
My son, Jeremy was just a baby of less than a year when I had this dream.

In the dream, Jeremy was a young man in his late teens or early 20's at least.
(In the dream, I saw Jeremy as he looks as a grown man today in his early 30's.)
I saw myself as a young pioneer woman standing outside near a log cabin. I looked across the field to see Jeremy running toward me from the edge of the nearby forest. He is carrying the kind of gun used in pioneer days.

Behind him 6-8 American Indians came running out of the forest shotting arrows at him as they ran. I knew they killed him as I watched from beside the cabin. I woke up sobbing. I was so upset that I didn't tell anyone about the dream for over a month.

This dream felt so real. When I woke up, I realized that the dream took place on my parents' property outside of Plain Dealing, Louisiana. We were supposed to visit them that weekend. I refused to go. I didn't tell my husband Daniel why until a month later when I finally was calm enough to tell him about the dream.

Recall of this dream is as clear for me today as it was 30 years ago when I dreamt it. About 10 years ago, I shared the dream with a small group of friends. One of those friends told me it was a past life recall. When he said that, I knew it was true.

I know that not everybody believes in past lives. I wasn't sure myself for a long time. If they do exist, they would sure explain a lot. Feel free to leave any comments about my experiences or your own.
Patricia