The Movie "Precious" And Incest

Here is a recent comment that I left on the website Bossip.com . You can find the article that I commented to at the following link: [Warning: the language of the comments may be offensive to some. The video could also be a trigger for some incest survivors.]

http://bossip.com/224627/damn-gabourey-sidibes-precious-audition-tape-is-powerful-video/ .

"Incest is a very big problem in our society. I have never heard Oprah or anyone else say that it only happens in the black community. Believe me, it doesn't.

Those of us who are incest survivors know just how big this problem is. I am an incest survivor and my skin color is white. Black or white, skin color doesn't matter if you are an incest survivor.

This problem has been hidden for so very long. I think we are blessed that Oprah and other celebrities are bringing the secret of incest out into the open. As long as it is hidden, we will never stop it from happening to our children. The children are important. They are our future.

If you don't like Oprah's choice of movies or her topics on her show, don't watch them. Tell [should have been "turn"] the TV off. Don't buy tickets to the movie. You have a simple choice not to go there.

As an incest survivor, I can't turn off my life. My past has molded me into who I am today. Today I am a survivor. "Get over it" as some other commenter said isn't as easy as you would like to believe. Today incest doesn't rule my life like it once did.

If "getting over it" was an easy option, don't you think we would do that. It isn't easy. Incest affects every area of my life. Shame, low-self worth, self-hatred, rage, a hurt so deep that it seems like you will never recover from it---I have dealt with all of these. People who tell you to just "get over it" don't know what the hell they are talking about and I hope that they never learn about incest first hand. Don't let your ignorance make you heartless.

What you want is for me to go back into denial of my incest issues. That isn't healthy and helps no one, lest of all me. Pretending that I am not affected by incest just makes me more of a victim which I refuse to ever be again. How about you stop pretending that incest isn't a part of our world?"

In the video audition, Miss Sidibe say two things that jumped out at me. She said, "I'm tired." and she said, "I've had enough of love."

For most of my life since I was a very small child, I have lived with a bone weary tiredness that never seemed to leave. I think that I still carry some of that feeling in my body. I learned to live with that tiredness a long time ago if I wanted to achieve anything in my life. I have been reading about doing body work on several other blogs over the past few months. Maybe it is time for me to find out if I can trust enough to do body work.

I think that many incest survivors have decided that they have had enough of love. Love to an incest survivor often has the sexual abuse so tied up in the concept of love that it is hard to trust anyone else to be intimate enough to give healthy love a chance to grow. Trust is so much involved with loving another person, letting that person get close enough for love to grow. Some of us have been so abused that trust in another person is almost impossible to even imagine. Having someone abuse you sexually while they are saying that they love you really messes up your concept of trust and love. Having someone tell you, like my dad did, that if you love me you will let me do this makes you not even trust yourself, much less someone else. Only by the grace of God did I take a chance and let myself learn to love my husband when he came into my life back in 1972. He is worth loving and so am I. I don't know where I got the courage to even try. Some incest survivors don't.

Incest and violence neither one are confined to just one race. Neither cares about the color of your skin or what language you speak or if you are even old enough to speak. Sometimes they don't even care if you are male or female. They don't care how much money your family has and they don't care what educational level your family comes from. They don't discriminate like some people would like you to believe.
Patricia

Protecting Our Children From Sexual Abuse

As a follow-up on my article entitled "Internet Porn Targets Our Children" found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/08/internet-porn-targets-our-children.html , I did some more research on The Oprah Winfrey Show website found at http://www.oprah.com and found some articles on how to protect our children. Awareness is what these articles provide you with so here they are:

Online Predators: A New York Times Investigation
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahdotcom/safety_eichenwald

Traits of a Sex Offender
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahdotcom/safety_traits

Warning Signs of Abuse In Children
http://www.oprah.com/article/relationships/parenting/safety_signs

Be an Informed Parent
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/safety_informed

What to Do If Your Child Was Abused
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahdotcom/safety_abuse


These are just those articles that I found that www.oprah.com has provided online. There are many others that you can find online if you do a Search. If you are a parent, please take the time to check out these articles. They are a valuable resource for helping us to protect our children from sexual predators online and off.

I want to say my own Thank You to Oprah Winfrey for the valuable service that she provides through The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Patricia

A New Earth

Have you signed up for Oprah's new online class. It isn't too late to reserve your seat. I would do it as soon as possible. There are a few technical things to do on your computer to make sure that you can get the webcast with very simple simple step by step directions. If I can do it, anybody can. There are also a few pre-show time homework items for you to do as well as read the first chapter of the book "A New Earth" written by Eckhart Tolle.

To reserve your seat for this event, you also have to join the Oprah Book Club or her site http://www.oprah.com . This is a world-wide event. I don't think anybody has done anything on this scale before on TV or the internet. It is a first and will possibly have wide spread results. This book can literally change the world by helping us to change our thinking. The first class starts at 8:00 PM C.S.T. in the U. S. on Monday, March 3, 2008 so time is short if you want to participate.

I bought my book from Amazon.com before Oprah decided to include this book in her book club. I have slowly been reading and absorbing a little at a time. That is the way that I like to read my books.

I signed up for this class on Thursday evening after seeing Oprah talk about it on her show.
One of the exercises that you will participate in is to write down 2 of your favorite quotes from the book, one chapter at a time as we go along. My first two quotes are as follows:

1. "An essential part of the awakening is the recognition of the unawakened you, the ego as it thinks, speaks, and acts, as well as the recognition of the collectively conditioned mental processes that perpetuate the unawakened state." (page 7)

I have always said that you can't change what you aren't aware of. You must have awareness as the first step. If you aren't aware, what can you do but continue to do what you have always done?

2. "You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge."

The paragraph goes on to say, "But it (goodness) can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness."

As my friend Slade tells me, "Trying" doesn't accomplish anything. It gives you a reason to fail. Trying is an excuse that you give yourself in case you fail. When is the last time that you said, "Well, I tried my best." Slade tells us to "Do rather than try." I think this principle would apply to the above statement quite well.

Basically what the Eckhart Tolle statement above says to me is You don't have to try to good because you already are good at the center of your being. You just have to become aware that you already are good and be good. That sounds so simple but it probably isn't for most of us because we "try" too hard.

Just BE.
Patricia
My creativity comes from the Universe and benefits the Universe through the sharing of my journey.