Showing posts with label This Tangled Web blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label This Tangled Web blog. Show all posts

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Male Survivor Book Project - 2014 - This Tangled Web

Time is short for any male survivors who are interested in participating in a book project hosted by This Tangled Web. I know this will be a great book project to participate in because I, myself, have participated in 2 similar book projects that were open to all survivors of childhood sexual abuse. 

Here is the "book plan" as quoted from the This Tangled Web website:
"Book plan...To give a platform and a voice to male survivors of C.S.A ...a space for men to share stories, poetry, art work, blog extracts etc to express whatever aspects of the trauma and the healing journey they want to... and to list as many 'tried and tested' resources for male survivors such as websites, possibly other books. A similar format to 'Silent No More' but specific to male survivors."

Here is the link for more information. Please don't wait too long. Time is short if you are male and want to participate in this worthy project.

http://www.thistangledweb.co.uk/male-survivor-book-project-2014/ 

I have some of my writing in the first two books published by This Tangled Web and Kate Swift, the founder. The first book that was "A collection of works by 'Reaching survivors of sexual abuse' R.S.O.S.A Founded by Kate Swift." The name of the first book is Silent No More.  I was just one of 86 contributors - male and female - to this book.

The second book that I participated in with this group of writers/artists/survivors is called Growing Stronger, Growing Free: 'The journey of recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse & the hope for healing'. It too was a collection of writings and artwork by 59 contributors. 

These books are available at  http://www.thistangledweb.co.uk

I am proud to have my name affiliated with both of these books and this great organization. I thank you, Kate Swift, for pulling these projects and survivors together to create these books to help other survivors speak out and tell their stories.

I would like to thank, also, all of my male survivor friends for breaking your own silence and having the courage to speak out and share your stories. It is through our sharing and becoming advocates that we will stop the abuse of more children in the future. Until we chose to finally break the silence of child sexual abuse, no one thought it was possible that it could be happening in their community, in their family, and especially in their own home. We are becoming stronger. Men joining women speaking out is a very big jump forward in stopping our children from being abused. Now the whole story is out there for all to see. I dare someone to try to stay in denial now. We won't allow it. Welcome brothers and sisters to the new abuse-free world that we are creating.
Patricia

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Guest Speaker For "Stop Child Abuse Now" SCAN

Where has the day gone? Just stopped in to let you know that I am a guest speaker for the radio program "Stop Child Abuse Now", SCAN, as it is called. The program is on Blog Talk Radio and hosted by Bill Murray.  The show will start at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, 7:00 p.m. Central Standard Time, 6:00 p.m. Mountain Standard Time and 5:00 p.m. Pacific Standard Time in the U. S. I hope you will join us tonight Wednesday, November 20, 2013. I hope you will join us tonight but if that is not possible the following link will work from the archives of the program. Here is the link for the program:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bill-murray/2013/11/21/stop-child-abuse-now-scan--708


At the end of my biography for the show, Bill says that I published two books, Silent No More and Growing Stronger, Growing Free. I didn't publish the books but I am very proud to be one of many contributors to the writing of the books. Both books are a "collection of works by 'Reaching survivors of sexual abuse' R.S.O.S.A. Founded by Kate Smith." You may purchase copies of these books at the following website:

http://www.thistangledweb.co.uk/online-shop/books/

See you tonight. Until then have a glorious day.
Patricia

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Three Year Old Adultress Carries The Shame Of Incest - Inner Child Letters Series

 As I have said before in this series, I don't have any memories of incest from my three year old inner child.  The mind and body protects itself sometimes by just shutting down and shutting out those memories that might affect its survival.  Since I don't have any memories of incest from the three year old, I have to assume that is what happened in this instance.  Because of an inner child session that I went through with two friends about six to eight years ago, I got in touch with my inner three year old and found that she felt  a tremendous amount of shame.  She felt so shameful that she didn't even feel that she deserved to have guardian angels around her.  She could not see any Light.  All she felt was shame and darkness.  Remember, this is a three year old that I am talking about.  No three year old should carry shame.  Here is my second letter to my self-acclaimed three year old adultress.

Dear three year old Little Patty,
I am so sorry that I didn't call you by your name in my first letter to you.  The adult me needed the space that not naming you provided for me to be able to write that letter.  Since I have processed all of your grief, the adult me can now call you by name, Little Patty. 

First of all, you can't possibly be an adultress at three years old. You were much too young to even know about sex and to know about adultry.  To be an adultress, you had to be having sex with someone while you were married.  You couldn't be married at three years old.  I have to assume for you to label yourself as an adultress, that someone was being sexual with you.  For you to carry the shame of abuse, someone was abusing you.  I know that is a hard thing for a three year old to carry which is probably part of why I have no memories of the abuse happening that young.

Know that I love you and am sorry for any pain that you have experienced in the past.  I want to go back to that day at Carol's house about six or eight years ago.  I felt your pain and your shame that day.  I felt your desperation, your self-hatred, your hurt and the darkness that you saw all around you.  Know that none of that was you.  I don't know what happened to you to cause that much pain.  Maybe one day we will both have that secret revealed to us.  It is okay if we don't.  If we ever get that information and memories back, it will mean that we are strong enough to deal with it and survive.  You survived the original pain and I am proud of you for being able to do that.  You are a very brave little girl.  If we don't ever retrieve those memories, I won't think any less of either of us.  We have both had more than our share of pain, humiliation, and shame directed toward us in this lifetime.  Shame belongs to your abuser, not to you.

I am here today to tell you that none of the shame that you felt back then was yours.  Shame comes from the abuser who knows that what he or she is doing is wrong.  Since they can't seem to live with themselves while carrying their guilt, they pass it on to those that they abuse and it becomes shame.  Shame tells us that something is wrong with us.  Shame tells us that we are the cause of our abuse.  Shame keeps us silent so that the abuse can continue.  Shame becomes who we think we are.  Shame tells us to be afraid and that others will blame us for our own abuse.  Shame keeps us in a cage of our abuser's making, afraid of others and of our abusers.  Shame makes us afraid to feel and to speak out.  Shame makes us afraid that you will see the shame in us and condemn us for it.

Little One, my beautiful Little Patty, shame is not who you are.  It never was.  That is just what the abusers wanted you to believe.  The abuse, in whatever form it took with you, was not your fault.  You did not deserve the abuse that you suffered.  You did not deserve to be neglected either.

That day at Carol's you were surrounded by guardian angels who only wanted to protect and comfort you.  You did not think that you deserved their love and comfort.  You did not want me any where near you either.  You were so full of hurt and rage that day.  None of that was you.  It all came from what was done to you.  You could not protect yourself as a three year old and I wasn't around for many more years to protect you, as I am today.  You had taken on the darkness from your abusers.  You were not the darkness of abuse.  It was never who you were.

You were and still are a beautiful child of God.  Before the abuse, you were full of love and laughter and joy.  Today, you can be that child, again, full of love and laughter and joy.  Know that I love you with all my heart and my soul.  I am doing everything that I can think of to make your life more joy filled.  You do not have to continue to carry the shame of our abusers.  It is not yours.  You can release it.  Let it be removed from your body.

Our angels will help you to let go of the pain, the fear, the shame that should have never been yours.  Let our angels wrap the shame in a blanket of white Light and carry it to the center of the Sun to be transformed into beautiful life giving rays of sunshine to nurture and feed our planet and all of the Universe.  Let that space inside of you be filled with Love.  Love is who you are.  Love is who you were always meant to be.  Feel the Love.  Be the Love.  That is who you are, beautiful Little Patty.

In my mind's eye, I see you Little Patty clapping your hands with a beautiful smile on your face and happiness in your eyes and your own being.  I feel you in my heart.  Thank you for finally letting go of all of that Hurt from our past.  Now you can become the beautiful child you were meant to be - happy and free, loving and loved.  I love you Little Patty.
Patricia


Link Love to other survivor blogs and articles:
"making friends with our fear"  @ sharing our spaces blog @ http://sharingourspaces.blogspot.com/2010/06/making-friends-with-our-fear.html

Victim, Survivor, Thriver blog @ http://www.squidoo.com/victim-survivor-thriver . This is a blog that I discovered this week that is full of stories and information for survivors of abuse.

This Tangled Web blog is also a recently discovered blog for survivors of abuse that I wanted to share with my readers @ http://www.thistangledweb.co.uk

Becoming Myself blog has many articles about working with her inner child @ http://pneumeier.blogspot.com

Oprah had a show from an interview that she did with 4 child molesters this week.  You will find an article from the show called "4 Things You Need to Know About Child Molestation" at the following link:  http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/4-Things-to-Know-About-Child-Molestation