The Power Of Your Words

"There is power in the words that we speak. Whether we speak words of encouragement and wisdom to one another or words that bring tears to someone's eyes, we acknowledge the power of words." From Marianne Williamson on A Course in Miracles at Oprah.

The above statement by Marianne Williamson and A Course in Miracles is true whether you are speaking those words to others or speaking those words to yourself. My words to myself over the past few days have been very negative with the result that I feel like someone has died inside of me. What is the topic that I have been dealing with in my mind the last few days? Judgments about myself that I was afraid a friend might make if she came to visit as she planned to do to see our Fall colors this week.

I have an older friend who wants to come to visit and see our gorgeous Fall colors. I am supposed to call her and let her know what it is the right time---when the colors are at their peak. Well that is this week. I haven't called her---why? Because my house is a mess. It is not up to company, by whose standards---mine. In my heart, I know that my friend isn't coming to visit my house. She is coming to visit me and no matter how bad my house looks, she won't say anything about it.

So where is the judgment coming from? Inside of my head, I hear my dad telling me how bad of a housekeeper and person I am. I am not a good housekeeper. I am a collector of things and of information so I have books and papers in stacks around my computer, my bookshelves and the couch where I sit at night to read and watch TV. I know that doesn't make me a bad person except that I still sometimes hear that voice in my head that says I am. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me and I know it isn't true. Other times, like this week, it does get to me. There are other things that I would rather do than housekeeping all the time. So I collect and stack until even I can't ignore it any longer, then I sort and put away and throw away and clean until all of the stacks are gone. Then I start all over again. I am not really lazy. There are just so many other things that I would rather be doing.

Now you know my biggest secret that you didn't know (unless you have visited my house unannounced). It doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I have learned that my friends will love me anyway no matter what my house looks like.

Why am I writing this? I started out fearing being judged by my friend. Then as I worked it out in my head, I realized that the judgments weren't about my friend. They were about me. Some part of me is still judging me by the standards that came from my dad when I was a child. I bought into his garbage then and I still am today. Yes, I could be a better housekeeper. I could hire someone to help out if I needed to. That isn't the real issue.

The real issue is the value that I put on myself, how I feel about myself inside. The real issue is the words spoken inside my head that still say "I am a bad person because . . ." I am not a bad person because of what my house looks like or doesn't look like. Any person that judges me for what my house looks like isn't a real friend anyway. I don't have any friends that judge me that way. I was doing it to myself, again. It always surprises me, these days, when I find a negative tape from my childhood that is still affecting me as an adult. This is another instance where I just need to love myself though the hurt until I can know that I am a good, loving person no matter what my background of abuse is. I will not continue to be a victim of that childhood.

Do you still have any of these tapes that occasionally catch you by surprise?
Patricia

Fear Expressed

"When fear is expressed, we recognise it as anger, abuse, disease, pain, greed, addiction, selfishness, obsession, corruption, violence, and war." --- A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles written by Marianne Williamson.

What an incredible statement!!!

I never thought about all of those things as coming from my fear. When you stop to think about it though, how true that statement is.

I have read the statement that everything that is not love is fear. I just didn't get it as clear as this statement makes it for me.

Are you living with fear or love?
Patricia

Gifts Of Facing Your Fears

A few days ago I read an article called "Cash in on the Hidden Gold Beneath Your Fears" written by Tom Volkar at Delightful Work. You will find the article at this link: http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/06/24/cash-in-on-the-hidden-gold-beneath-your-fear/ .

Click on the link above and go read Tom's article, then come back here and read mine. I'll be here when you get back. In the mean time, I will go fix myself a cup of coffee.

People keep telling me that I am courageous to write about incest. I am not any more brave than anyone else. I have just reached the grand age of 56 years old where I don't care as much what other people think about me as I once did. I do care. At 56, my opinion of me is the most important. Doing what is right for me has become more important than your opinion of me.

The praise does feel good so if you want to keep it coming, I won't object. I will even admit that I love it when you tell me how good, nice, courageous, outspoken I am. My ego is still in tact and even still in control at times. So thank you for your words of encouragement. They are appreciated.

I need to set the record straight. I am just as fearful as the rest of you, probably even more so than some of you. Yes, writing down my thoughts on this blog for the world to see is scarey business but the rewards have been well worth facing my fears to do this. Facing my fears has been so rewarding. I can so relate to Tom's article and see that when we face our fears, there is gold hidden beneath the fears.

In one of my recent articles, "Quit Playing Small And Insignificant" ( http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/06/quit-playing-small-and-insignificant.html ), I faced a major fear of mine---the fear that I might be "powerful beyond measure" (Marianne Williamson in "A Return to Love"). I was fearful of letting my light shine to its full strength because you might think I felt superior to you. My ego might even try to convince me that I am superior to you. As it says in my article, I was fearful of accepting that I am responsible for my life and what I do with that life.

What have been the immediate gold that I found hidden beneath those fears?
1. I have found a new level of self-confidence that I didn't have before. I acted as if I were confident but it was only an act. Now, it is real. I am powerful beyond all measure and so are you. Each of us is powerful as magnificient reflections of the God in each of us.

2. My creativity with my writing for this blog has gone through the roof. I have never written as many articles as I have in the past week. I am not posting them all at once so you will continue to see these articles come out over the next few weeks. I wrote 5 articles last week, three of which have already been posted. This article is the second one in two days that I have written this week.

3. Tools such as Tom's article and the information that I posted from Paula Kawal that you will find in my article "Shame, The Abuser's Friend" found at http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/06/shame-abusers-friend.html have come my way to be shared on this blog. Helping others has to come second after helping myself to grow since I choose to help others through sharing my own journey. These tools will give me and you more ways to heal ourselves. This is a lesson I learned about 20 years ago. I can't help others heal until I have done the work of healing myself.

4. Michelle Vandepas and CK Reyes at Divine Purpose Unleashed ( http://divinepurposeunleashed.com/ ) have helped me to look more clearly at what my divine purpose is. This blog is the tool for me to accomplish my divine purpose of reaching out to others who wish to move beyond victim and survivor to become who they really are as Divine Beings.

5. Slade Roberson ( http://sladeroberson.com/ ) and Andrea Hess ( http://www.empoweredsoul.com/ ) have both opened the door for me to learn to communicate more with my Spirit Guides. Hey guys, that voice in your head or your ear doesn't necessarily mean you are going crazy. It could be your guides communicating with you.

6. Michelle Vandepas introduced me to the new Debbie Ford book called "The Secret of the Shadow, The Power of Owning Your Whole Story." You will be hearing more from me about this book. It is the missing piece I have been searching for.

7. As I release more fears, more joy and contentment come into my life.

Next time I find myself faced with my fears, I intend to use Tom's four statements to look at my fears and his four questions to find out exactly what I am afraid of and what actions I can take to release the fears. Thank you Tom for sharing this article with the rest of us. I love it when I find tools that do what they are supposed to. With tools, we are better equipped to deal with life. Life can be beautiful. Life is beautiful. Live it to the fullest. Be as powerful as you truly are.

Your life can be glorious when you choose for it to be.
Patricia

Quit Playing Small And Insignificant

I am blessed to be able to participate in the "Communicating with Our Spirit Guides---Workshop" that Slade Roberson is hosting for the month of June. Thank you Slade for putting yourself out there to do this workshop. As usual, when you and I communicate, I learn about myself.

For awhile, I have been butting my head up against a wall of my own resistance to growth and searching out new terrritory in my spiritual journey. I recently told Slade that I was being a rebel and rebelling against structure in all forms. The little kid in me (the two-year-old) is in full tantrum mode and has been for awhile. She is always afraid of moving forward, especially spiritually. She is the one who still feels shame and worthlessness. Sometimes, I ignore her tantrums and sometimes, I face them head on and move forward anyway. Sometimes, like the past few months, I just let her throw her tantrum and wait for it to be over. She has strong lungs, like most two-year-olds.

I have waited and waited and waited. Now it is time to move forward again after reassuring her that her fears are unfounded. They are just leftovers from my childhood that need to be let go of. No one is going to hurt her. No one is going to make her life nearly impossible. I will protect her.

In Slade's class, we are learning different ways to get in touch with our spirit guides and to use the information that we get from them. We all get this information in various ways. Most of us ignore the majority of the information and if we do admit to receiving it, we blow it off to imagination or wishful thinking. Slade is teaching us how to know the difference between wishful thinking and the real thing---intuition. Most of the time, our guides use our intuition to speak to us.

Last week's assignment from Slade was to tell us to ask a question of our guides, out loud, and then follow that with the statement, "And my guides say _________." My rebellious two-year-old doesn't like being told what or how to do things. She was afraid.

One of the ways that I have learned to face my fears is to voice it so I did that in an email to the workshop group. Here is part of email that I sent them:

"Slade, I haven't played with the assignment of talking out loud to my guides and asking questions and then saying, 'And then my guides say . . .' I think that I haven't because of the answers that I might get. Am I ready for those answers? Am I ready to accept that much responsibility for my own life and actions and moving forward. Are any of the others in the group feeling what I am or am I just being a coward? . . ."

I got back several wonderful responses from group members that just added to the information that started coming to me from my guides almost immediately after sending the email on its way. Thanks to those who responded, if you are reading this. It made a big difference. Almost as soon as the email hit the air waves, my fear was gone. I have discovered, as I said above, that sometimes just voicing my fears is enough to make them disappear. I have also learned that voicing our own emotions can sometimes be a spur for someone else who may be feeling the same way to voice their feelings as well. We do all like company when we are feeling fear, anger, sadness or happiness.

About two days after sending out the above email, I received a message that loudly said, "Quit playing small and insignificant. It isn't you." I received the message and very quietly to myself say, "Oh, ok, is that way I am doing, again."

Then the articles started coming in from other bloggers telling me the same thing, just in a different format. The first of several came from my daily "Today's Heartfelt Blessing" which you can find at http://www.bettertobless.com/ . I love the messages that I receive daily from Kate. They are always uplifting and full of wisdom given out with humility.

The next article that came to me was from Albert of "Personal Development - The Urban Monk." Albert's article is entitled "The Power of Being You" which you will find at http://www.urbanmonk.net/318/the-power-of-being-yourself/ which starts out with saying, "Each individual brings a uniques light into the world, however, often that light remains buried below the surface of the person others see in us. Discovering that light and letting it shine is one of the fundamental steps each individual must take to become a more whole person." This was an article written by a guest author---Alexander De Foe. Thank you Alexander and Albert for this article.

At this point in my week, I started to realize how determined my guides were that I get the meaning of their information. Then I got the following article from the blog "6 WEEKS" written by Brett and found at http://6weeks.ca/?p=215 . What Brett told me came to him from Battlestar Galactica and was that "God loves you because you are perfect, just the way that you are." Then Brett went on to quote my favorite Marianne Williamson saying:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

By the time that I finished reading Brett's article, I was laughing and told my guides, out loud so they would know I was serious, "Ok, I get the message." I do love what Marianne says and I guess I needed to be reminded of it. So, okay, people, quit playing small and insignificant. It isn't you and it doesn't suit you or anyone else for you to do it. Let your Light shine for all of the world to see. You never know who may be watching and learning from you about how to let their Light shine too. Isn't this world and time a glorious place to be? Can you tell that "glorious" is my favorite word. It has such a wonderful feel. One of these days, my two-year-old inner child might just reach out and grab onto that glory herself.

Patricia