A friend sent this email to me a few days ago. I can't give you the name of the person who originally wrote it since it is going around the in the cyberworld without the source being included. Here it is.
The Window Through Which We Look
"A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
'That laundry is not very clean', she said.
'She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.'
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
'Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this?'
The husband said, 'I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.'
And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look."
As I have said before, what you see about your world and other people always comes through the filters of your ego which are created by your experiences and beliefs. When is the last time that you cleaned the windows of your mind?
Patricia
Related Articles:
The Law Of The Garbage Truck
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/04/law-of-garbage-truck.html
We Can Only See Who We Are
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/07/we-can-only-see-who-we-are.html
Limiting Beliefs May Be Holding You Back or How Incest Is Still Affecting My Life
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/12/limiting-beliefs-may-be-holding-you.html
What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/08/what-other-people-think-about-you-is.html
Showing posts with label Filters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Filters. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Limiting Beliefs May Be Holding You Back or How Incest Is Still Affecting My Life
From Your Hands Can Heal You written by Stephen Co and Eric B. Robins, M. D. with John Merryman, page 37,
"Limiting beliefs are mental judgments that we've made about ourselves, the way the world works, or the way we interact in the world based on faulty, incomplete, or improperly understood information we have received, typically in the formative years of childhood. The information can come from primary authority figures (parents, teachers, clergy) or peers (classmates, friends), or indirectly from other sources in the world (books, television, movies, advertising). This information may be true on some level. Perhaps your parents' marriage wasn't very good and loving, or you really didn't have the ability to be a dancer. The information may even be well-intended. Your father may have honestly believed he was trying to motivate you to settle for nothing less than your best efforts. The mind of a child lacks the ability to discriminate and sort through these messages, however, so these unfiltered messages impinge upon your unconscious mind and lead you to form untrue assumptions about yourself and the world. These gross generalizations become limiting beliefs, which, in some ways, are the toughest types of unconscious programming to dislodge or bypass."
Along these same lines, yesterday I read an article written by Alex Blackwell on his blog Personal Development for The Next 45 Years entitled 10 Things You Wish You Had Never Learned found at http://www.thenext45years.com/2007/11/10-things-you-wish-you-had-never.html .
Well, here is my list of limiting beliefs, some of which I am still struggling to change:
1. I learned that I didn't have value as a woman except to be a sexual object.
2. I learned not to expect anything from anybody.
3. I learned that the world was a dangerous place.
4. I learned to not trust anyone, including myself.
5. I learned that God didn't care about me.
6. I learned that I could never be good enough.
7. I learned that there was no one to protect me.
8. I learned that the dark was a scary place.
9. I learned to sleep lightly.
10. I learned to pretend that I was asleep sometimes when I wasn't.
11. I learned to be afraid of sounds in the night.
12. I learned that a child's no wasn't important.
13. I learned to be quiet, to hold in the screams of pain and rage.
14. I learned that to cry was to be weak.
15. I learned to not feel.
16. I learned that what I wanted wasn't important.
17. I learned to pretend that everything was normal.
18. I learned how to escape into my mind, books and movies.
19. I learned how to disconnect from my feelings and my body in order to survive.
20. I learned to be the family hero.
21. I learned to protect my mom at all costs.
22. I learned how to be a parent to both of my parents, rather than being a child.
23. I learned that people and life will disappoint you.
24. I learned that my body wasn't mine to control.
25. I learned to lie when all that I wanted was to tell the truth.
Some of these I have worked on and healed. Some of them, I still struggle with. Can you come up with your own list? Give yourself credit for those that are no longer a problem. Look at the remaining ones and see if there are any that you want to change. Can you imagine the ways that your life will improve by dealing with your own limiting beliefs? Yes, change can be fearful, but isn't peace and happiness worth the change?
"Limiting beliefs are mental judgments that we've made about ourselves, the way the world works, or the way we interact in the world based on faulty, incomplete, or improperly understood information we have received, typically in the formative years of childhood. The information can come from primary authority figures (parents, teachers, clergy) or peers (classmates, friends), or indirectly from other sources in the world (books, television, movies, advertising). This information may be true on some level. Perhaps your parents' marriage wasn't very good and loving, or you really didn't have the ability to be a dancer. The information may even be well-intended. Your father may have honestly believed he was trying to motivate you to settle for nothing less than your best efforts. The mind of a child lacks the ability to discriminate and sort through these messages, however, so these unfiltered messages impinge upon your unconscious mind and lead you to form untrue assumptions about yourself and the world. These gross generalizations become limiting beliefs, which, in some ways, are the toughest types of unconscious programming to dislodge or bypass."
Along these same lines, yesterday I read an article written by Alex Blackwell on his blog Personal Development for The Next 45 Years entitled 10 Things You Wish You Had Never Learned found at http://www.thenext45years.com/2007/11/10-things-you-wish-you-had-never.html .
Well, here is my list of limiting beliefs, some of which I am still struggling to change:
1. I learned that I didn't have value as a woman except to be a sexual object.
2. I learned not to expect anything from anybody.
3. I learned that the world was a dangerous place.
4. I learned to not trust anyone, including myself.
5. I learned that God didn't care about me.
6. I learned that I could never be good enough.
7. I learned that there was no one to protect me.
8. I learned that the dark was a scary place.
9. I learned to sleep lightly.
10. I learned to pretend that I was asleep sometimes when I wasn't.
11. I learned to be afraid of sounds in the night.
12. I learned that a child's no wasn't important.
13. I learned to be quiet, to hold in the screams of pain and rage.
14. I learned that to cry was to be weak.
15. I learned to not feel.
16. I learned that what I wanted wasn't important.
17. I learned to pretend that everything was normal.
18. I learned how to escape into my mind, books and movies.
19. I learned how to disconnect from my feelings and my body in order to survive.
20. I learned to be the family hero.
21. I learned to protect my mom at all costs.
22. I learned how to be a parent to both of my parents, rather than being a child.
23. I learned that people and life will disappoint you.
24. I learned that my body wasn't mine to control.
25. I learned to lie when all that I wanted was to tell the truth.
Some of these I have worked on and healed. Some of them, I still struggle with. Can you come up with your own list? Give yourself credit for those that are no longer a problem. Look at the remaining ones and see if there are any that you want to change. Can you imagine the ways that your life will improve by dealing with your own limiting beliefs? Yes, change can be fearful, but isn't peace and happiness worth the change?
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
What Other People Think About You Is None Of Your Business.
A very wise friend once told me, "What other people think about you is none of your business." Then she proceeded to tell me that what any body thinks about you comes down through their filters. We all have these filters that we look at life and other people through. Our filters are created by our experiences.
If information comes to a person through their filters and those filters are created by that person's experiences, then what they think about me truly isn't about me. It is about them, not me. If what a person thinks is more about them than it is about me, then it truly isn't my business. Their thoughts are not my business. It is theirs.
My 7-year-old granddaughter got me to thinking about this last week. She and her family were here visiting. On a day trip to visit her great-grandmother, she rode with her grandpa and I. During a lull in the conversation, my granddaughter asked, "Grandma, are you mad at Grandpa all the time?" I was shocked into a few minutes of silence thinking about what she said. I paused to wonder if that was how she saw me. Was I angry all of the time? Because of the articles that I have been writing on this blog, I have been a little intense lately. Also, with so many people in the house at one time, my stress levels were up some. Did I act angry even when I wasn't? I automatically assumed this question was about me. I told her, no, that I wasn't angry at Grandpa all of the time.
Then I proceeded to make a point of being nicer, of speaking in a softer voice, of smiling and laughing more to show her that I wasn't angry all the time. Was I acting? No, I was aware and put more effort into how I interacted with those around me. I am sometimes surprised at how others see me. Sometimes, they are accurate and sometimes they are not. The point is what others think about me, how they "see" me is still none of my business. It is theirs.
Later on, our granddaughter made a comment to her grandpa that he later shared with me. She told him that her mom and dad were always angry at each other. So when she asked if I was always angry at her grandpa, she was asking though the filters of her own experience which said that all husbands and wives are angry with each other all the time.
So what do I do when I receive a complaint or praise from someone, I look to see if any of it is true for me. If it isn't, then I let go of it. If it is true, then I make the decision to change or not. It is my decision to make, not the person doing the complaining or praising.
What do I do when I receive "Hate" emails, letters, or comments? I get hurt, angry, sad and feel all of them, then I love myself and send love to the other person.
What do I do when I receive "Praise" emails, letters or comments? I feel joy, excitement, pleasure. I allow myself to feel each of those, then I love myself and send love to the other person.
What lesson did I learn from this exercise?
What other people think about me is none of my business. It is theirs.
What I think about other people is none of their business. It is mine.
We all see the world though filters which affects how we see.
Love Is what life is about. Love yourself. Love others. We are all one.
If information comes to a person through their filters and those filters are created by that person's experiences, then what they think about me truly isn't about me. It is about them, not me. If what a person thinks is more about them than it is about me, then it truly isn't my business. Their thoughts are not my business. It is theirs.
My 7-year-old granddaughter got me to thinking about this last week. She and her family were here visiting. On a day trip to visit her great-grandmother, she rode with her grandpa and I. During a lull in the conversation, my granddaughter asked, "Grandma, are you mad at Grandpa all the time?" I was shocked into a few minutes of silence thinking about what she said. I paused to wonder if that was how she saw me. Was I angry all of the time? Because of the articles that I have been writing on this blog, I have been a little intense lately. Also, with so many people in the house at one time, my stress levels were up some. Did I act angry even when I wasn't? I automatically assumed this question was about me. I told her, no, that I wasn't angry at Grandpa all of the time.
Then I proceeded to make a point of being nicer, of speaking in a softer voice, of smiling and laughing more to show her that I wasn't angry all the time. Was I acting? No, I was aware and put more effort into how I interacted with those around me. I am sometimes surprised at how others see me. Sometimes, they are accurate and sometimes they are not. The point is what others think about me, how they "see" me is still none of my business. It is theirs.
Later on, our granddaughter made a comment to her grandpa that he later shared with me. She told him that her mom and dad were always angry at each other. So when she asked if I was always angry at her grandpa, she was asking though the filters of her own experience which said that all husbands and wives are angry with each other all the time.
So what do I do when I receive a complaint or praise from someone, I look to see if any of it is true for me. If it isn't, then I let go of it. If it is true, then I make the decision to change or not. It is my decision to make, not the person doing the complaining or praising.
What do I do when I receive "Hate" emails, letters, or comments? I get hurt, angry, sad and feel all of them, then I love myself and send love to the other person.
What do I do when I receive "Praise" emails, letters or comments? I feel joy, excitement, pleasure. I allow myself to feel each of those, then I love myself and send love to the other person.
What lesson did I learn from this exercise?
What other people think about me is none of my business. It is theirs.
What I think about other people is none of their business. It is mine.
We all see the world though filters which affects how we see.
Love Is what life is about. Love yourself. Love others. We are all one.
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