Mother's Day And Our Son's Wedding Day

Friday, May 7 was my son Jeremy's 34th birthday, two days before Mother's Day, just like the year that Jeremy was born.  In 1976, Jeremy was my first Mother's Day gift.  He stole my heart that day.  Before that day, my heart belonged solely to my husband Daniel.  On May 7, 1976, my heart opened as wide as any heart could to love two people.  Sixteen months later, that heart got opened even wider to love my brand new baby daughter Christie.  For my children, I struggled to be a better mother than my mother was to me.  I think I succeeded at being better than my mother was but I still fell short of my own expectations as a mother.

Many Mother's Days in the past, I cried.  I knew that I was passing some of the damage that growing up in an alcoholic home on to my own children.  Even though I didn't drink like my dad, I still had some of his alcoholic characteristics and some of my mother's codependent characteristics.  On Mother's Day, I would beat myself up in my mind for all of the things that I had done wrong.  I would also miss the perfect mother that I never had.  When it came to buying a Mother's Day card for my mother, I would be reminded of all of the things that she wasn't.  I would cry for that dream of having a perfect mother.

Today, I don't do any of that.  Today I love myself as a person and as a mother.  Today I am close to my children.  I love them both dearly.  Today I take care of my own needs.  Today I am happy with who I am.

Today I got to be the mother of the groom.  My son got married to a beautiful young lady that both Daniel and I like and already love.  She makes our son happy.  Her grandmother told us today at the wedding that Jeremy is good for Melonie also.  They are still having a big wedding in December for all of the family members that couldn't be here today.  They just didn't want to wait that long before becoming husband and wife. 

At one point today Melonie asked me if I was going to cry at the wedding.  I told her I didn't know.  I would have to wait and see.  I told her that they would be happy tears if I did.  I also told her that there might be a few sad tears also because this was an ending for us also.  Jeremy has been in and out of our home over the past few years.  Now that he is married, he will have his own home with Melonie so a chapter of our lives is ending.  I didn't cry even though at one point Daniel thought I was.

It was a short ceremony out under a big oak tree on the lawn of the courthouse.  The ceremony was done by a Justice of the Peace that Melonie and her family knew.  It was a surprise when he showed up that it was someone that they knew.  The ceremony was beautiful.

Jeremy and Melonie, I love you both and so does Daniel.  Again, Melonie welcome to the Singleton family.  As I told you earlier today, keep your sense of humor and you will do fine.
Patricia/Mom/Mrs. Pat