Happy 43rd Anniversary Daniel

Happy 43rd Anniversary, Daniel. We made it through another year today with our usual ups and downs. Through it all, my commitment to our marriage has continued to grow. Looking back at our love shows growth year after year. Our marriage hasn't been perfect. I don't know of any that are. We have had our years of struggle and our times of laughter and joy. 

I found an article in my emails this last week that I want to share with you from MindBodyGreen entitled "38 Hard Truths About Relationships". The article is one that I totally agree with. Relationships and love are not easy. My marriage has taught me that. Sherryl Paul, the author of this article, talks about how relationships are not easy and that that require compromise. She says that the definition of love that our society gives you need to be redefined. I agree with her when she says that love is an action rather than a feeling. You aren't going to be happy all the time in any relationship. That is why I said earlier than Daniel and I have had our ups and downs. Our marriage has been full of compromises and change. 

Daniel and I both came from dysfunctional homes and therefore, our family was also dysfunctional. Today we are both healthier than we have ever been in our relationship and still neither of us or our relationship is perfect. Marriage and love takes commitment on the part of both partners. The initial feelings of falling in love are the best that I have ever felt but those feelings didn't last. The daily irritants of living with another person quickly wears away those initial feelings. You often find the things that attracted you to your partner are the very things that irritate you later. I love Daniel's quirky sense of humor unless I am tired and not feeling good. Then I have to look at what is really important. I don't want him to change his wonderful sense of humor just because I am having a bad day. You cannot expect another person to change just because you want them to. It doesn't happen. A person only changes if they want to. One thing marriage taught me is that the only person I can change is me. 

Ms Paul says love is an action and I agree with her. For me that action has been the decision to stay committed to my marriage and my love for Daniel over the years. Many people choose to walk away at the first sign of problems because they want the happy ever after of fairy tales. Happy ever after is a fairy tale. Happy doesn't come from another person. Another person cannot make you happy. Only you can make you happy. Happy is a choice. You can be happy or at least content in the worst of circumstances. If you aren't happy make changes. If you can't change your circumstances, find something good in each day to be thankful for. Change your attitude. I discovered some time ago that I can always change my attitude and change how I see my world around me.

I am not sure when Daniel and I will get around to celebrating our anniversary. Both of us have been sick the past few days. For me, I am not sure if I have caught his cold or if I am having an allergic reaction to a medicine that I was taking for a bladder infection. I do feel better today. So does Daniel. That is another thing about any good relationship is that you both need to be flexible with boundaries, thoughts and requirements. 

Here is the link to the article that I mentioned earlier from MindBodyGreen.

38 Hard Truths About Relationships @
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21222/38-hard-truths-about-relationships.html

Happy 43rd Anniversary Daniel. I love you more than I did last year. 
Patricia

Standing on the Edge of Time by Daniel Singleton

Where did February go? Several times I thought about sitting down and writing another article here for you to read, but then I would get busy with something else and the day would be gone. The whole month was like that.

A lot of my time lately has been taken up in helping my husband get his book self-published. We decided to go through AuthorHouse. I checked out three different self-publishers online and decided on AuthorHouse. It wasn't the cheapest place to publish but it seems to suit my husband Daniel's needs just a little better than the other two. They have also been kind with my limited computer skills. Daniel has less skills that I do with the computer so that work fell in my lap. Also all of the phone conversations have been mine because Daniel's hearing loss that he has had since childhood has gotten much worse over the past 5 years. He now has problems hearing some people over the phone so I have become his spokesperson. Because of a misunderstanding on my part with the first salesperson that I spoke with, Daniel's book is under my name for all correspondence from AuthorHouse. He is just listed as the author. It would have cost us more time and money to change it all to his name.

The title of Daniel's book is Standing on the Edge of Time: Civil War 1862, Crisis in the West. I got all of the necessary information and pictures sent in last week, with a picture of Daniel for the About the Author page being the last thing to send in. This coming week, all of the pages will go to the Design Team. According to our new Check-in Coordinator, the book will go to the printer in about 60 days. The waiting is so discouraging for Daniel.

To borrow from the front of Daniel's book, here is what his historical novel is about:

"The Story of Private Robert G. Jarman and the 4th Arkansas Infantry,
                Confederate States of America
In the Battles of Elkhorn Tavern, Arkansas; Famrington, Mississippi;  Richmond, Kentucky; and           Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Also the Siege of Corinth, Mississippi, and the 1862 Kirby Smith Kentucky Raid

Includes 253 eye-witness accounts, 437 letters and reports written between the commanders, 545 newspaper articles, a list of 125 damaged or burned cities & the 85 bloodiest battles

A Historical Novel by Daniel Singleton"

Daniel has worked on his novel for 9 years researching and reporting what the Civil War might have been like for his ancestor Robert G. Jarman, just one of Daniel's six direct ancestors who fought in the Civil War.  I have watched Daniel spend time and money, get excited about some of his finds and get discouraged several times because of the lengthy process of writing. I am proud of him and his accomplishment. I always knew he was a wonderful storyteller. Now he is truly a writer.

With my part in getting this book out there done, I will now have time to write my own book about healing from incest. You will see some of the same information in my book that you read in my blog articles that I have written over the past five years. Some of it, I am sure, you have never seen because it hasn't been presented to me yet.  Just this past week, some issues have presented themselves to me but that is stuff for another blog post. For now, I wanted to introduce you to my wonderful, supportive, kind, and stubborn husband and his book. I will let you know where Daniel's book is on the market in case any of you are fellow historians. Til then have a glorious week everyone.

Patricia