From Daybreak, Meditations For Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse, written by Maureen Brady, 1991, February 26 page:
"Deepening
I regret the abuse I suffered, yet I value the way healing from it has deepened me.
All human beings, whether survivors of childhood abuse or not, are confronted with illness, accidents, loss of loved ones, and a whole host of other injuries that hurt us and we wish hadn't happened. Yet don't we learn from these times how to value what we may have taken for granted---good health, for instance? And don't we discover resources that migh have otherwise lain dormant in us?
As I deal with my memories of abuse, I often rail against my lot, wishing this history belonged to someone else, that I could be free from it. But then I wonder, who would this someone else be? I realize how much strength I've observed in myself as I've grappled with my pain. I've found the me who came through. I've found the freedom to leave behind more superficial masks that otherwise might have covered my face for a lifetime."
I find comfort in reading that. Why did I choose to name this article "Daybreak---The End Of Night after reading the above daily meditation? First of all, this book Daybreak, Meditations For Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse brings me much comfort. It gives me hope that one day I may actually leave the darkness of incest---the nighttime of my childhood---behind. If someone else can do this, so can I. So can you.
This meditation reminded me of all of the incest survivor blogs that I read and all of the other survivors who are struggling, as I struggle, to face the hurt and anger and to leave the past behind. Letting go of the pain---the hurt, anger, alienation, betrayal, inner messages of negativity, the isolation, the secrets---I believe that all of this is possible. I also know it isn't as easy as some would like you to believe. Don't you think if it were that easy that more people would instantly do it? Nobody that I know really enjoys being an incest survivor.
If you are an incest survivor or a child abuse survivor, you can look at the right sidebar and find a list of the sites that I frequently read written by other survivors who are in recovery and learning to thrive despite their childhood abuse. Each of these blog writers shares their journey through abuse on their blogs. Learning that you are not the only one makes the journey easier. I appreciate each of these bloggers for the courage that they show me daily. The journey is easier when it is shared. Thank you each and everyone. Have a glorious day.
Patricia
Showing posts with label Maureen Brady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maureen Brady. Show all posts
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Resistance Is Futile---How Do You Deal With Change?
From Daybreak, Meditations For Women Survivors Of Sexual Abuse, written by Maureen Brady, Page for April 19:
"Letting go is a never-ending process of relating to my resistance.
When I let go of my nearly unrelenting need to control, my belief that I can bend even iron with my will, I am released into serenity and trust in a power greater than myself. Then, almost immediately, I drop the most powerful lesson I have learned and take up my willfulness again. I ask myself in some bewilderment, why would I do this?
To some extent my need to control may have become excessive and obsessive because the loss of control in the sexual abuse was so great that I needed to make up for it. But regardless of my story, it is also a very human characteristic to grasp for control. The way to work with this is through a daily practice of noticing what I am clinging to---a thought, a feeling, a memory, a determination to make a situation come out a certain way---and uncurling my grip as a gesture of release and watching what I am clinging to float away. Releasing my willful attachments creates space and sustenance for my soul."
How often do you resist change? I find myself resisting change just about every time that it comes into my life. I deal better with smaller changes than I do big ones so that is some improvement. I have to remind myself, to use a phrase from Star Trek Next Generation, "Resistance is futile." Resistance just makes change harder and slower but change still moves forward anyway despite my resistance. Often resistance just gives me a headache and it still doesn't stop the change from happening.
Resisting change is very much about the need to control---your environment, other people and their behavior, and your reactions to those people and environments. If you are controlling then you can feel safe. Controlling, as I have said many times before, is just an illusion that you are in control. Life, the Universe, God---these are what are really in control. Your choice is to go with the flow or to resist. Going with the flow doesn't mean that you don't have dreams or make plans for your future. Going with the flow means that you don't resist the change that Life sometimes throws at you when you don't know what the bigger picture is. It means letting go of the need to control what isn't my responsibility in the first place.
You might be interested in reading the article from the blog The Rat Race Trap written by Stephen Mills at the following link:
http://www.ratracetrap.com/the-rat-race-trap/an-optimal-balance-to-your-life.html . The article is called "An Optimal Balance to Your Life. Part of my above paragraph came from my comment to Stephen's article about balance.
Patricia
"Letting go is a never-ending process of relating to my resistance.
When I let go of my nearly unrelenting need to control, my belief that I can bend even iron with my will, I am released into serenity and trust in a power greater than myself. Then, almost immediately, I drop the most powerful lesson I have learned and take up my willfulness again. I ask myself in some bewilderment, why would I do this?
To some extent my need to control may have become excessive and obsessive because the loss of control in the sexual abuse was so great that I needed to make up for it. But regardless of my story, it is also a very human characteristic to grasp for control. The way to work with this is through a daily practice of noticing what I am clinging to---a thought, a feeling, a memory, a determination to make a situation come out a certain way---and uncurling my grip as a gesture of release and watching what I am clinging to float away. Releasing my willful attachments creates space and sustenance for my soul."
How often do you resist change? I find myself resisting change just about every time that it comes into my life. I deal better with smaller changes than I do big ones so that is some improvement. I have to remind myself, to use a phrase from Star Trek Next Generation, "Resistance is futile." Resistance just makes change harder and slower but change still moves forward anyway despite my resistance. Often resistance just gives me a headache and it still doesn't stop the change from happening.
Resisting change is very much about the need to control---your environment, other people and their behavior, and your reactions to those people and environments. If you are controlling then you can feel safe. Controlling, as I have said many times before, is just an illusion that you are in control. Life, the Universe, God---these are what are really in control. Your choice is to go with the flow or to resist. Going with the flow doesn't mean that you don't have dreams or make plans for your future. Going with the flow means that you don't resist the change that Life sometimes throws at you when you don't know what the bigger picture is. It means letting go of the need to control what isn't my responsibility in the first place.
You might be interested in reading the article from the blog The Rat Race Trap written by Stephen Mills at the following link:
http://www.ratracetrap.com/the-rat-race-trap/an-optimal-balance-to-your-life.html . The article is called "An Optimal Balance to Your Life. Part of my above paragraph came from my comment to Stephen's article about balance.
Patricia
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