Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Resistance Is Futile---How Do You Deal With Change?

From Daybreak, Meditations For Women Survivors Of Sexual Abuse, written by Maureen Brady, Page for April 19:

"Letting go is a never-ending process of relating to my resistance.

When I let go of my nearly unrelenting need to control, my belief that I can bend even iron with my will, I am released into serenity and trust in a power greater than myself. Then, almost immediately, I drop the most powerful lesson I have learned and take up my willfulness again. I ask myself in some bewilderment, why would I do this?

To some extent my need to control may have become excessive and obsessive because the loss of control in the sexual abuse was so great that I needed to make up for it. But regardless of my story, it is also a very human characteristic to grasp for control. The way to work with this is through a daily practice of noticing what I am clinging to---a thought, a feeling, a memory, a determination to make a situation come out a certain way---and uncurling my grip as a gesture of release and watching what I am clinging to float away. Releasing my willful attachments creates space and sustenance for my soul."

How often do you resist change? I find myself resisting change just about every time that it comes into my life. I deal better with smaller changes than I do big ones so that is some improvement. I have to remind myself, to use a phrase from Star Trek Next Generation, "Resistance is futile." Resistance just makes change harder and slower but change still moves forward anyway despite my resistance. Often resistance just gives me a headache and it still doesn't stop the change from happening.

Resisting change is very much about the need to control---your environment, other people and their behavior, and your reactions to those people and environments. If you are controlling then you can feel safe. Controlling, as I have said many times before, is just an illusion that you are in control. Life, the Universe, God---these are what are really in control. Your choice is to go with the flow or to resist. Going with the flow doesn't mean that you don't have dreams or make plans for your future. Going with the flow means that you don't resist the change that Life sometimes throws at you when you don't know what the bigger picture is. It means letting go of the need to control what isn't my responsibility in the first place.

You might be interested in reading the article from the blog The Rat Race Trap written by Stephen Mills at the following link: . The article is called "An Optimal Balance to Your Life. Part of my above paragraph came from my comment to Stephen's article about balance.

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