Thursday, October 1, 2009

Your Outer Conflicts Mirror Your Inner Conflicts

Awakening, A Daily Guide to Conscious Living written by Shakti Gawain, Revised Edition, Nataraj Publishing, a division of New World Library, Novato, California, 1991, 2006, page September 27:

"Outer conflict is a mirror of inner conflict

Most of our conflicts in relationships or in situations in our lives are projections of inner conflicts. People we are in conflict with are usually mirroring some parts of ourselves with which we are uncomfortable or unresolved."

"This situation won't change until we're willing to see the outer conflicts as mirroring our inner conflicts. As we become aware of and accept all aspects of ourselves, outer conflicts melt away.

I am learning to see outer conflict as a mirror of my own inner conflict."


This isn't new information for me. It is just a reminder of what I already knew. My home is a good example of this. I can keep the majority of my house in some kind of order in all areas except my bedroom. My bedroom is almost always a mess. I am organized in most areas of my life except for this one area. I guess this means the day that all of my incest issues are fully resolved (Do you think that will ever happen? I am not sure that it will.), then I will be able to keep my bedroom straightened up and in some kind of order.

My husband prays for that day. I can't blame any of the disorder on him. His side of the bedroom is neat and ordered.

Does it make sense to you that an incest survivor would have a messy bedroom because of the internal mess around sex and sexuality? It makes perfect sense to me. Are there any areas of your life that mirror your internal self?

By the way, this is my 200th article written and posted on my blog. Today is an anniversary for my family also. Twenty-one years ago today, we moved to Hot Springs, Arkansas.
Patricia

18 comments:

Eugene said...

really cool

speck of dust said...

I have never thought of this awareness being applied to the bedroom and state of it, but you're right it makes perfect sense!! My bedroom has been a tip since I had my boy and the depression and only very recently did I make an effort to tidy it all up. I also was not bothered with cleaning in my bedroom, the dust was shocking!!! Ha, really says a lot! I became aware of s shift in myself when I started to get excited about decorating the room and choosing a new colour for my one coloured wall. Haven't done it yet, but am working towards it :) great post!

Patricia Singleton said...

Eugene, thanks.

Patricia Singleton said...

Speck, it made perfect sense to me the first time that I heard it too.

Corinne Edwards said...

I think that is a fascinating correlation, Patricia, about your bedroom.

But, where's the harm? You probably never go in there except to sleep and then it is dark.

I am quite the opposite. I am a neat freak. I have decided it is a control issue. If everything is tidy - then maybe my head is too.

I even straighten pictures in my dentist's office.

(And I am also a Virgo!)

I interviewed Shakti a couple of times on my TV show. She was already famous.

She is the real deal... very simple and makes no effort to impress anyone.

I really liked her so much.

Patricia Singleton said...

Corinne, my daughter and son-in-law are both Virgos. Virgos like everything perfect.

There is no harm in my bedroom being a mess as long as my husband is ok with it and company doesn't go in there.

Linda Pendleton said...

Very interesting, Patricia...

Patricia Singleton said...

Linda, thanks for your comment. I believe that our outer world mirrors our inner world.

Colleen said...

Yes, it all makes sense. A lot of our outer world mirrors our inner world. Some illnesses do that. I have had a lot of bladder and gyn problems. So has my sister. But no one else in our family. Good post. And no, I do not think my incest issues will ever be fully resolved, this side of heaven. They go too deep. Blessings!

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, Thanks for your comment. At my age, I feel also that I may not outlast the incest issues.

speck of dust said...

please don't think that! Believe that you are not your incest issues that there is a whole and healthy you that is living right now untainted by anything life has thrown at you. I feel this when I meditate and the more I meditate the more that feeling is creeping into my life. Also, EMDR therapy works wonders. I am more than happy to be supportive if I can if you decide to give it a go. Lots of love x

Just Be Real said...

Congrats on the 200th article anniversary!

Patricia, this post makes absolutely sense. Well done, thank you.

Blessings dear one.

Patricia Singleton said...

Speck, thank you for your concern. I am doing ok. What is EMDR therapy? I know that I am not my incest issues. I have worked really hard on my issues for over 20 years and there are still some left. That was the reason for my comment.

Thank you for your support. You are appreciated for being here and for your comments. Working on myself isn't all that I do. I live and enjoy my life most of the time. Having joy in my life happens more and more often and that is great. We all deserve to have joy in our lives.

Patricia Singleton said...

Just Be Real, thank you. Several months ago when I was struggling just to write one article a week, I wondered if I would still be writing now. Recently, the words have started flowing easily again and I am back to posting two articles a week.

It feels like I am walking into new territory. It feels glorious to be writing again with my old enthusiasm. I know that when writing is hard then I am processing more stuff that needs to be cooked longer before it comes out as words on paper.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Happy moving anniversary and congrats on your 200th post! Cool!

This sounds like a wise and aware book. I'm sorry about your bedroom. And I am definitely rooting for you and I both to be healed of our incest issues.

I used to have the same problem with my bedroom. But, then we moved into this small townhouse and I realized I really didn't have any space of my own. So, I went about making my bedroom a sanctuary and beautifying my office space (that I share with my husband). For the office, I got a beautiful stained glass screen/room divider that I put up between my desk and my husband's desk that is always piled with clutter. Now I can't see it! ;)

The bedroom part you can read about under the archives section of my "What Works" page of my www.survivorscanthrive.com site, called, "Bedroom Bliss." Maybe there are a few ideas in there that might help.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, thank you. I will be sure to go read your article. The book is a daily meditation style book. You will be reading more articles written by me that are inspired by Shakti's book.

speck of dust said...

I have written about EMDR therapy on my blog a couple of months ago in some detail. When we have trauma our brain stores the information and often we can relive emotions from past trauma in our present lives. EMDR is a way of stimulating the brain to release the emotions and beliefs about ourselves that are stuck in there. I was doing it until I couldn't afford it anymore. I'm very happy with the results, although the process was incredibly hard for me and I at the time was very doubtful of ever seeing any positive results X

Patricia Singleton said...

Speck, thanks for this information. I will go to your blog and read the article. I am glad that EMDR worked for you.