I just finished reading the book The Secret written by Rhonda Byrne. I have seen the DVD version of the book at least 5 times. The movie is good. The book is great. I will probably do as a friend of mine is doing and read it over and over again to absorb it into my thoughts and actions.
One of the truths that I hardily believe in is the following from page 172 of the book stated by Michael Bernard Beckwith:
"To not love ourselves can keep what we want from us. When we don't love ourselves, we are literally pushing things away from us."
Dr. Beckwith goes on to say ". . . to transmit the highest frequency of love, you must love yourself, . . ."
This goes hand in hand with what the Bible says about loving your neighbor as yourself. In order to love your neighbor, you must love yourself first. Until and unless you love yourself, you can't possibly know what love really is.
One of the first issues for most people in recovery of any kind is that of low self-esteem. Webster's Dictionary lists esteem as "to regard with respect or affection; to set a value on; to rate highly."
I had low self-esteem because I didn't love myself. My sense of self-worth or value was not very high. It was almost none existent. I valued everybody else above myself, even my abusers. I didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying "no". They were adults. I was a child. As a child, I was basically told that I didn't matter. I didn't have the right to say no or talk back or do anything disrespectful to an adult. The end result was that I learned to not have respect for myself. I learned that I had no value.
As an adult, in recovery, I had to undo all of those beliefs. I had to learn to love myself. Now after reading The Secret, I know that loving myself is even more important if I want to manifest the world of my dreams.
On page 181 of The Secret, we are told to "Embrace Your Magnificence." What a beautiful idea. I challenge you to do this. Let me know how it works for you.
I love the story that Lisa Nichols shared on Oprah. Lisa and I share similar backgrounds of childhood sexual abuse. Like me, it took Lisa a long time to learn to love herself, to know that she was lovable for the person that she was. Probably because of the similiarities in our childhoods, I was especially impressed by Lisa's story of finding herself and accepting who she was on her own terms rather than that of society.
I first accepted that if others could love me---my husband, children, friends---then there must be something in me that I could love about myself. I started out with a list of things that I was good at. I was good at listening, writing, solving others' problems. At the time, I didn't realize that fixing others' problems was co-dependent and a trait that kept me from looking at myself and my problems. That came later. I was a good wife, a good mother, a good friend. These gave me something that I could start to feel good about. It was a beginning. I was still a very long way from loving and accepting myself.
It has taken years of hard work to build my self-esteem into what it is today. Most of the time, I feel good about who I am. Today I know that none of those titles---mother, friend, child, wife, writer, listener---none of those are the real me. The real me is a spiritual being learning and growing through the experiences of this physical body. My soul thrives on the challenges of this lifetime and the many lifetimes before. If you like me that is ok. If you don't like me that is ok too. Why, because I love myself and that is what is really important.
If you don't love yourself, start today by accepting yourself as being right where you are. Accepting yourself is the first step in learning to love yourself. You are worth loving. We all are.
The real me is a being of love and light, a being of pure energy and infinite possibilities. I Am the Creator of my life and my dreams.