I have a picture in my mind of myself as a very young child. This child was very curious about everything in her world. She was full of love, joy and the excitement of living. She always found good in everyone and always wore a smile on her face. She wanted to learn all she could about anything and everything. Her world was such a wonderful, special place.
When I thought of this little girl, I thought she was dead. I thought I had lost her because of the abuse.
I am discovering that she only went into hiding deep inside of me. As I work on recovery, I see her sunny, happy face peek out at me more often.
She is the keeper of my creativity, my love of people, and my joy of just being. She is my contact with my Higher Power. She is a very special part of me that I am learning to love as I become more aware of her existence.
I am so thankful that I didn't lose her. It is so much fun experiencing her joy of life. She is teaching me how to play.
She is my serenity. This little girl child makes the pain of recovery worth going through.
As I let go of the anger, the hurt and the tears, I feel her presence more.
With all the garbage gone from my life, I have room for her joy. It becomes my joy.
She becomes me.
I wrote this on November 21, 1991. It was true back then and it is even more true today. Sometimes, I forget to nurture this inner child of mine and she gets frightened and goes back into hiding. I won't forget her ever again. She is that mystical, magical part of myself that wants to heal herself, me and the world.
I think I will let her.
Do you have a wounded, hurting, frightened inner child? Have you forgotten how to play, how to have fun, how to laugh? Help her/him see the sunshine or a rainbow when it rains. Your life will be so enriched if you take the time to reconnect with this wonderful, mystical child that is inside of you. Have a glorious day.