Father's Day And Incest

I know that Father's Day, and Mother's Day too, for that matter, can be hard days to get through if you were abused as a child by your parents. You just don't have the good feelings that you would have if your parents were good at their jobs. You can even envy your friends who had good parents. You can take it so far as to resent that your own kids have good parents. No one says feelings have to be rational. They aren't always. 

I decided a long time ago, before my dad died, that I could celebrate the fact that my husband Daniel is a good father to our two children. I could teach my children to honor their father in the way that I can't honor my dad who sexually abused me as a child. 

Daniel is a good dad. He has always played an active part in the lives of our children. He changed diapers and cleaned up messes as well as being there for the good parts of being a dad. I was more the disciplinarian but most moms are. Daniel played with the kids more and made us all laugh. He has always been there for our children and still is today with our children moving into their late 30's. I think he has always tried to be the dad that he didn't have as a child. Daniel's dad was 55 when he was born and health issues prevented him from doing the recreational things that Daniel made sure that he did with our two children when they were growing up. Daniel's dad died shortly after retirement when Daniel was still in high school.

Neither of our grown children have had a chance to wish their dad Happy Father's Day yet because he went to a reenactment this weekend in Mississippi. He will be home around early evening probably. I know he had a good time because he and I have talked briefly a few times since he left but not today. I don't know if he realizes that today is Father's Day. I didn't until sometime Friday afternoon. 

Happy Father's Day, Daniel and to any of my readers who are good dad's to your children.

As I came on Facebook today and also checked my emails, I read other blogger friends' articles about Father's Day and so I am sharing those links with you here. They all talk about the mixed emotions that survivors share about their parents and why Father's Day is difficult for them.
Patricia

Fathers Day! @
http://speak4change.com/blogging/fathers-day/ 

Father's Day - Lessons learned, Love lost, Life Reclaimed @
http://www.mskinnermusic/home/fathers-day-lessons-learned-love-lost-life-reclaimed/ 

When Dad Enables Mom in Emotionally Abusive Family Relationships @
http://emergingfrombroken.com/when-dad-enables-mom-in-emotionally-abusive-family-relationships/ 

Male Abuse Awareness Is Growing

This past week on Butterfly Dreams Talk Radio host Patricia McKnight had a week of Male Abuse Awareness guest speakers. You can find those radio programs at the following links:

Male Abuse Awareness w/Philip Paris - 'MEN CRY ALONE'
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/11/26/male-abuse-awareness-wphilip-paris-men-cry-alone


Male Abuse Awareness w/ David Pittman & Blair Corbett
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/11/28/male-abuse-awareness-w-david-pittman-blair-corbett


Male Abuse Awareness w/ Professor Dean H. McVay, Attorney
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/11/30/male-abuse-awareness-w-professor-dean-h-mcvay-attorney


Male Abuse Awareness Talking Research
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/12/03/male-abuse-awareness-talking-research


Male Abuse Awareness Domestic Violence Victims - 'Shame' the movie
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/12/04/male-abuse-awareness-domestic-violence-victims--shame-the-movie


Male Abuse Awareness Musicians Making A Difference
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/12/05/male-abuse-awareness-musicians-making-a-difference


Male Abuse Awareness Features Bill Murray, Main Event
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/12/06/male-abuse-awareness-features-bill-murray-main-event


Male Abuse Awareness Week Event - Closing it out
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/butterflydreamstalkradio/2013/12/07/male-abuse-awareness-week-event--closing-it-out

I am pleased to see so many men starting to speak out about their own childhood abuses. Women started speaking out some time ago. Now that men are joining us, the true picture of just how bad childhood abuse really is becomes clearer and less easy for society and families to continue to ignore.  I am honored to call some of these male survivors my friend. The internet is where we all met. You don't have to listen to all of these programs at once. Take your time and listen to them. The programs are archived for listening at your convenience. But please do listen to them and share them with your friends. We all do this to educate others and to offer support to all survivors.

I have one more link that I want to share with you before I close. It is a tribute to a great man and world leader who died this week - Nelson Mandela 1918-2013 R.I.P. This wonderful tribute is written by another male survivor friend of mine who calls his blog "The Wounded Warrior".  Here is the link to the blog article:

http://whatislove-2010.blogspot.com/2013/12/nelson-mandela-1918-2013-rip.html

Hope you all are having a glorious weekend. See you again soon.
Patricia