Sunday, June 15, 2008

Living Life To Its Fullest Means Feeling It All

A friend sent me this in an email:

"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good morning, Lord,' and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, 'Good Lord, it's morning.' "

For the most part I am a "Good morning, Lord." type of person but occasionally I do wake up after a long, hard sleepless night and think, "Good Lord, it's morning." What kind of person are you?

Over the past few days, I have cried a lot over things that I have read in books and over TV movies. I love to watch movies (good Chik Flicks) that make me laugh and make me cry. Girls can do that. Guys, aren't most of you envious over how easy a girl can cry?

Some of the tears have been heart felt, feel good tears.

Some of the tears have been tears of sadness and remembering of childhood events.

Some of the tears have been over the horrors that some people can do to others---senseless killings and abuse of innocent children are examples.

Some of the tears were caused by a nightmare that I had a few mornings ago.

What do I think about all of those tears? I think they are glorious. You ask, "Is she crazy? Has she lost her mind?" Not at all. It is glorious to feel whatever I feel wherever I feel it.

Once upon a time, a very long time ago, a child realized it was too dangerous to express feelings. You see all her daddy did with his emotions was to rant and rage and become violent.

Next, this same little girl discovered that it hurt too much to feel everything. What did she do? She shut all of her emotions down and buried them deep inside where no one, where not even she, could find them.

What did this do the the little girl and her world? It made everything be seen through shades of gray. Sometimes, the sadness and the tears would sneak out in uncontrollable crying jags late at night when she was all alone as a young woman.

As the woman that I am today, why do I say that the tears of the weekend were glorious? Because I no longer see the world just as shades of gray. The world is full of glorious colors---loud and bright and varied. After stuffing those emotions for so many years of my life, what I feel today---the sadness, the happiness, the grief, the joy---everyone of them is glorious because I am feeling them all fully, to the best of my ability.

Without the tears and grief, I would not know what the joy and happiness feel like either. You can't shut down one and feel the other. The mind doesn't work that way. When you stuff one, you stuff them all. Loving yourself means being willing to feel everything that you feel.

Live life to its fullest. Feel to the fullest. That entails the tears and the joy and everything in between. Live life in all its glory. Live life BIG.


Anonymous said...

Hi Patricia, thank you for reaching in deep and writing this, it's absolutely beautiful and what I needed to hear. I have been mucking through some of my own personal battles and trying to connect which feelings locked deep inside. This brought me a step closer, thanks you so much!

Michael Howard

Patricia Singleton said...

Michael, it isn't an easy journey but the dividends are well worth doing the work involved to get to a better place, a better life. Sometimes it seems like I take two steps forward and one step back and still that is progress over just standing still and staying in the fear.

Most of my fears today come from fear of the unknown. Most of the time I can say, "What the Hell." and move forward past the fear. Sometimes, it takes me a little longer to reach the same conclusion. Glad my words could offer you some solace.

Anonymous said...

Way to go, Patricia! I've had those crying bouts (they still happen!) and I used to feel ashamed of them, coz everyone around me then was saying "why do you cry so much?". Learning to deal with my own deep feelings and embracing them was liberating for me. Personally, I've learnt the most about myself through those crying bouts, and I'm grateful. Thanks for sharing!

Patricia Singleton said...

Irene, thank you. It is liberating to be able to embrace all of my feelings rather than stuffing them. Isn't Slade's class great?

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrica,

What a beautiful post. I agree, we do need to live life to the fullest, "live BIG".

After all, life is for living.

Evan said...

Thanks Patricia.

A friend of mine says it this way: the heart only has one door. A beautiful metaphor I think.

Thanks for such a heart felt post.

Patricia Singleton said...

Barbara, for so many years, life was about surviving. Living life BIG is wonderful.

Patricia Singleton said...

Evan, thanks for sharing your friend's saying. Do you know what the key to opening that door is? LOVE. Isn't life glorious?