Sunday, May 17, 2009

Comments From My Readers

First of all, I want to say "Thank You" to each of my readers who leave a comment at the end of my posts. Your comments add to the body of my posts. Thank you. Your comments expand my thoughts. I appreciate your sharing of your feelings and thoughts on what I write.

I do not mind having your comments express a difference of opinion. I don't expect everybody to agree with my thoughts and feelings. The world would be a dull place if we were all alike. Differences make me think about things in a different light. I have no problem accepting our differences of opinion. Being a Saggittarian, I even thrive on our differences.

With my topic of incest, I expect feelings to sometimes be expressed quite strongly. I have no problem with that. You should have strong emotions about incest and the perpetrators. Those strong emotions are what will help us to stop child sexual abuse. I want you to feel strongly when I write my posts about incest.

When I write about my spiritual beliefs, I know that some people will disagree. That is fine too. I know that my spiritual beliefs are possibly disturbing to some people because their beliefs are different. My spiritual beliefs are pretty broad for some people and I know that. I am ok with that. I do not expect everyone to agree with me. That is ok.

What I do expect is that if you disagree with me and you express that disagreement, do it with respect for me and for my readers. I resently got a series of three comments from a person who left a comment that was very judgmental and attacked the organization that I talked about in the post. I published the first comment but I rejected that next two. As the writer of this blog, I have that right.

I know that my beliefs are different than a lot of people. I am ok with being different. I am not ok with being told that I am going to Hell for those beliefs. I am not ok with a personal attack on me or those that I write about. All those type of comments do is spread more venom and hatred in the world. I will not allow my blog to be a part of spreading hate in the world. Expressing anger at a person because of his/her actions is not the same thing as bigotry. Bigot according to the dictionary is "One intolerant of or prejudiced against those of differing religious beliefs, political opinion, etc." (The Doubleday Dictionary For Home, School, and Office, Doubleday & Company, Inc., 1975, page 70).

I will not be a part of spreading more hatred into the world. Please be honest and respectful with your comments. Do not attack another person or organization. If you disagree that strongly with my view points, you have the choice to not visit my blog again. Express your opinions and your feelings, just don't attack me with those opinions and feelings. That is abuse and I am not the child who couldn't protect herself. I will protect myself and my readers from your hurtful words.

If you are one of my readers who is a survivor of any form of childhood abuse and are angry at your perpretrators, I am not asking that you monitor your feelings. I know how that anger can feel. That is not what this article is talking about. If you are angry with your perpretrator, feel free to say so in your comments. I want this blog to be a help in your healing. I am not asking you to pretend that you are ok when you are not. I am asking for honesty in your feelings if you choose to leave a comment on something that I have written. You can express feelings without the use of vulgar language. I want my readers who are survivors to feel free to express their feelings. Again, I want to tell you that you are not the ones that this article is written about. You are the reason that I write to share my experience of recovery and hope for a better life. As a survivor, you have the right to have a better life.


Phil Gerbyshak said...

Good for your for standing up for yourself Patricia! You are a strong person to do so.

I would recommend you put this up as your comments policy and link to it in your sidebar. Stacy Brice did this a LONG time ago on one of her blogs, and though some folks still try to spew hate, most will bug off as soon as they can't see their comments live for the world to see.

Big hugs, love and light to you. Sharing your story and your learnings at the least makes us more aware of the impact others have on us, and at the best prevents others from going through what you have gone though.

Patricia Singleton said...

Phil, thank you for your comment. I have always reserved the right to post comments or not and rarely do I choose to not post one. I think I will put a link in the comment section to go to this post.

Corinne Edwards said...

Hi Patricia -

Instead of deleting comments that are offensive, I learned today to spam them.

It gets these obnoxious people on some kind of a list so that eventually they get banned all over.

Which is what they deserve.

Also, instead of always commenting on your blogs, I usually stumble the really important ones.

I think that gives more people the opportunity to read them.

I suggest others do the same. This word has got to get out!

We love you, Patricia.

Patricia Singleton said...

Corinne, thanks for your comment and the Stumbles. I never did figure out how to get a Stumble Upon button on my blog. Have a glorious day.

Just Be Real said...

Well done Patricia, thank you for telling us and protecting us. Blessings.

Patricia Singleton said...

Just Be Real, you are welcome. I couldn't protect myself as a child, as an adult I can and do protect myself and others.

Albert | UrbanMonk.Net said...

Patricia, I feel you. And good for you for standing up for yourself. Such abusive comments can be very hurtful especially in a blog such as yours, which is created with the most beautiful intentions. It hurts more to get attacked from that space. Sending lots of love!

Patricia Singleton said...

Albert, thanks. This last attack didn't hurt me. It made me mad. I guess because I am so accepting of others religious and political beliefs, that I expect others to be the same. They aren't. I guess I need to let go of that expectation.

Nikki (Sarah) said...

HI Pat, thank you for your comment on my blog. And I think it's awesome you have been open and free with your kids. I have no doubt you are a great mom too.
About your blog, thank you for your openness in sharing. Blessings. Sarah

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog via Colleens ;-)
I love the beginning of your post ! I just wrote and briefly touched on this on my own blog .
I tell people right off I am catholic this is who I am when being me . I teach and heal , my work is threw my religion it is just how I am called to do this . Truth is being real who you are be you hundu wiccan neo pagan etc. I am infact a catholic amongst pagans all my friends are mostly wiccan .
I also tell people I never will apologize for being me and that goes for being catholic lol
healing comes in a zillion ways , my way was and is thru Him so that is how I work .
I'm sorry if others have insulted you or not valued your work based on your spirituality .
Bless you for doing it anyway ;-)
that is one of my most favorite quotes from Mother Teresa when others accuse us , persecute us etc. just go on do it anyway .
Most of all thank you for being advocate for those who we truely know will not and are not being heard .
much love to you , roxie

Patricia Singleton said...

Sarah, thank you for visiting. I am spending more time lately on blogs like yours. Your kids and mine have both been blessed with a mother who truly loves them and cares about them and the next generation. We will stop the abuse even if it is just in our own families.

Patricia Singleton said...

Roxie, Little Sparrow, Florasita, Sticklady, Strong Tree Woman, you are all welcome here. I learn so much from Colleen as well by reading her blog. Thanks for visiting. Come back any time. Have a glorious day.

Marj aka Thriver said...

I've been through some similar experiences. Quite a while back, thank goodness.

I think you handled this message very well and I appreciate you taking care of yourself and maintaining this blog as a safe place for readers. You go, Patricia!

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, Thank God that those kind of comments are rare. Thanks for visiting. I do want this to be a safe blog for me and for my readers.

Ray said...

My last comment here came out way more negative than I meant for it to at the time. I am sorry. I didn't even realize what I wrote until days later.

It feels good to talk about some things that I never talk about. I started up a blogger account to semi-anonymously get some things off my chest.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Patricia Singleton said...

Ray, you were honest with what you were feeling at the time that you left that comment. It is ok to express what you are feeling. This is a safe place to do that.

I think it is great that you are writing about what you feel. Writing helped me tremendously to process all of my thoughts and feelings. Seeing things on paper or on the computer makes them more real for me. I have been hoping you would return and make more comments.

Anonymous said...

Have You ever done in home therapy in newport news ??

Patricia Singleton said...

Anonymous, I am not sure what you mean by in home therapy and I don't know what newport news is, so my answer is no.