Thursday, December 27, 2007

"Survivor Needs" Meme List

Just before Christmas, I was tagged by Marj aka Thriver over at to participate in my first Meme. The theme is about paying attention to our needs during the holidays. Survivors are notorious for taking care of everybody but themselves. Didn't you know we are dispensable. At least our needs are. That is what I was taught as a child.

I am going to use Marj's title for my list. I am supposed to list 25 needs and 5 wants.

My Survivor Needs:
As a survivor trying to thrive:

1. I need to feel better emotionally.
2. I need to feel better physically --- no more migraines.
3. I need to stop having nightmares about being lost and snakes.
4. I need to look at the role that I play in my relationship with my brother and sister.
5. I need to look at the source of my anger and sadness.
6. I need to go to bed before 2:00 a.m. every night.
7. I need to stop eating sugar.
8. I need to control my overeating.
9. I need to do activities that are fun.
10. I need to continue to write articles on my blog about my recovery from incest.
11. I need to be more compassionate with myself and with others.
12. I need to connect more with nature to be more grounded.
13. I need to take out my inner children to play more.
14. I need to give myself the full value that I give to others.
15. I need to be more aware of my needs and work on getting them fulfilled.
16. I need to become more comfortable with the sexual side of myself.
17. I need to be in touch with all of my feelings.
18. I need to be more comfortable inside of my own body.
19. I need to remember to acknowledge the growth that I have done in the past year.
20. I need to reach out to other survivors with love and support for them and for myself.
21. I need to heal.
22. I need to love myself more.
23. I need to remember to tell my husband thanks for staying in my life through the difficult times.
24. I need to remember that others are just a mirror for what is going on inside of me.
25. I need to be more compassionate for those who are still in victim mode.

Here is my list of Wants:
1. I want coffee in the morning and afternoon and sometimes in the early evening.
2. I want chocolate.
3. I want to make everyone aware of Incest and Sexual Abuse and Child Abuse in any form so that it can stop.
4. I want my blog to be popular and have lots of subscribers.
5. I want Christmas to be a time of love and fun and joy.

I am supposed to tag 5 other survivors. The only ones I know have already been tagged by Marj. Now, I am off to read the lists written by the other 9 people that Marj tagged on her site. Thanks Marj for the opportunity for me to participate. Thanks for your continued support.


Chesterfield First Responders said...

What a great idea! You're list is very inspirig!

Thank you for sharing it us.

Karma said...

Hey Patricia,
Great list. Something to consider: perhaps to stop having the nightmares, you need to accept them (instead of need them to being gone), take the time to learn the lesson that your subconscious is trying to give you and/or work through the issue that the nightmares are bringing up.

I had reoccurring nightmares for years and they finally went away. There's hope!

Patricia Singleton said...

Karma, thanks for your suggestion. I don't have the nightmares every night. I have had quite a few lately. I took a dream class at my church a few years ago. That class helps me to look at the dream to discover what they are trying to tell me. Sometimes I know what they are saying to me. Sometimes the symbols don't mean a thing. I also have two friends that I share the dreams with. They help me to figure out what they dreams are saying too.

Patricia Singleton said...

Ben, thanks for the inspiration that you provide on your site as well. I enjoyed your article on compassion.

Anonymous said...

Dear Patricia,

After reading your post, my first thought was, 'Did this all come to you at one time' ? OR did you start and have to come back.

Good job in getting this out of you and sharing.

Sending you a rose ~

xo xo

Patricia Singleton said...

Deb, I wrote the post in about 15 minutes at one sitting. I did use Marj's list as a starting place. All of the things that I listed have been playing out in my life for the past month or more.

Nightmares are not an every night occurance for me like they are for some survivors. I have been having a few over the past month since I have been looking at the emotional upheaval that sometimes comes to me during the Thanksgiving/Christmas Holidays. Being with my family of origin does that sometimes.

Not every Holiday Season has been as stressful as this one has been. I am sure that is true for many people, not just survivors. Being a survivor just adds another element to the game.

I hope I answered the question that you asked.

Marj aka Thriver said...

Patricia: This is a wonderful list. Thanks so much for joining us. I hope it helps us all with self-care and remembering to be assertive about getting our own needs met.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, you are welcome. Thanks for inviting me. I have visited all of the other sites that you tagged and met some new friends.

Learning that we have needs and then learning how to get those needs met can be a journey all its own. It goes hand in hand with learning that there are healthy boundaries also. Writing the list helped me too. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

One want already came to be, you have gained another reader and commentor on your blog. You are already manifesting!

Thank you for your list. I found it healful and affirming. I loVe this meme, it is releasing, self-actualizing, and helpful to other survivors all at the same time.

I participated too, with a very slight variation. Blessings in abundance to you, MW

Patricia Singleton said...

Mother Wintermoon, I love your name and the picture that goes with it. Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment. I look forward to hearing from you again sometimes. I tried to check out your site and found it is by invitation only.

Tracie Nall said...

Wow! #6....that could be written just for me. That is something that I struggle with and it gets worse when I am feeling depressed or working through something.

Thank you so much for sharing this with the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse this month!

Patricia Singleton said...

Tracie, #6 - not getting in bed before 2:00 a.m. is still one that I am working on myself. You are very welcome. Thank you for choosing to take over the Carnival Against Child Abuse when Marj decided to take a break. For my other readers, the link to the December Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is as follows:

Marj aka Thriver said...

I remember starting this meme! I can hardly believe that was three years ago. I can relate to so many on your list. Thanks for including this in this month's Blog Carnial Against Child Abuse. Great idea!

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, you are very welcome. It has been an eventful 3 years for both of us. Hope you are doing well. Have a glorious 2011.