Thursday, March 4, 2010

FEAR, The Monster

Each time that I face my fears, FEAR dies a little more. Its control over my life and my actions becomes less and less. FEAR is no longer the monster that it once was keeping me shaking and silent in its grip.

Did my fears start when I was abandoned for the health of my baby brother when my parents left me with my grandmother and uncle because I had whooping cough? I was just two years old. I didn't understand. "Where is momma and daddy? Why did they leave me here? Are they coming back? What did I do wrong that they left me here? They don't love me enough to keep me with them. I must be bad. I want my momma and daddy. Why won't they come?" These were probably my two-year-old thoughts. Was this the beginning of my journey with FEAR as my constant companion?

I can feel the inner two-year-old crying and screaming for her parents. She doesn't understand that they had to leave her there with her grandmother. The doctors said so. They couldn't risk her baby brother getting whooping cough. As young as he was, he wouldn't have survived. Her grandmother loved her but she wanted her parents. Nobody told her what was going on. She didn't understand. She was frightened. She was lonely. She was alone with strangers. She was two years old.

It doesn't matter that she soon came to love her grandmother and uncle dearly. They loved her in return. To be left in a strange place without her parents was the start of her journey with FEAR. This was my first experience of abandonment.

I don't remember being that frightened two-year-old. I know that she has to be there inside of me waiting for her parents to return. I believe this to be my first taste of fear. This was the birth of the monster FEAR. As I love that inner two-year-old and help her face her fears, then FEAR shrinks in size and begins to lose that grip on her and on the adult me.

Were you introduced to FEAR when you were a child? What does FEAR look like to you? What color and shape is your FEAR? Does he have a taste or a smell? Can you recall the first instance that you were introduced to him? Feel free to share here in a comment or on your own blog if you have one. If you want to, you can even leave a link here to your own article about facing your own monster FEAR. Remember that each time that you face FEAR, he loses more control over you and he becomes smaller. When you face FEAR, he is forced out of hiding. Once FEAR is brought out into the Light, he loses his power to control you.


What started me thinking about fear was an article that I read over at the Just Be Real blog. You will find "How Does Fear Define You?" at this link:

http://justbereal77.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-does-fear-define-you.html


Another blog that I have discovered recently that you might be interested in checking out is written by Pete Madstone. The first article that I read on Pete's blog is entitled: "Deception and the Beauty Within". You can find this article at the following link:

http://madstone2000.wordpress.com/2010/01/24/deception-and-the-beauty-within/

Just Be Real and Pete Madstone are both in my blog roll found on the right side of the sidebar on my blog site if you are interested in reading more of their articles. I am already a regular visitor of Just Be Real and I soon will be for Pete Madstone's blog also. I hope that you will join me there.
Patricia

8 comments:

sarah said...

fear has been a force that drove me for a long time. someone once said the opposite of fear is faith and you can't walk in the two of them at the same time b/c like a negative and postiive magnet...they repel each other. Good post. Sarah

Patricia Singleton said...

Sarah, thanks for your comment. I have heard the same saying about faith and fear.

miruspeg said...

Excellent post with so much food for thought Patricia.
My first recollection of fear was when I was 6 years old. My sister had just been born and I felt all the love my mother once had for me disappear and was transferred to my sister. This feeling stayed with me all my life until finally in 2007 I rationally faced my fear and dissolved it forever.

I believe Fear is a teacher as it brings messages from the subconscious.

I have a question for you - Is it the ego that feels fear or the soul?

:)
Peggy

Patricia Singleton said...

Peggy, I also believe that Fear is our teacher. I would say it is the ego that feels the fear. The soul sees the bigger picture and knows the lesson that fear is here to teach. This is just my opinion since you asked. What would your answer be?

Colleen said...

Fear is surely a companion of mine. Sometimes I can face it. Sometimes I let it get to me. I read somewhere that Be Not Afraid is the most often used phrase in the bible. So I guess we are not alone. Thanks for this series.

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, courage is also a companion of yours and mine. You have dealt with some major fears in the past year. Congratulations.

Dorian said...

fear is a monster that keeps us from fulfilling our dreams and hopes... it's the fear that binds us before we even get a chance to perform the desired act leaving us unaware if the object desired would have been all that bad in the first place...

Patricia Singleton said...

Dorian, how very true your comments are. Thanks.