Saturday, July 4, 2009

Independence Day

July 4 is Independence Day in the U. S. A. We have lots of cook-outs, family gatherings and fireworks displays to attend. Many people spend time in their back yards with family and friends or go swimming, fishing and boating on our many lakes.

Some of us use this day to declare our independence from our abusive past. Some of this comes out in blogs such as "Surviving By Grace" which posted the following article she called Declaration of Independence. I have been reading Colleen's blog for awhile now. Colleen is a woman of great courage whom I have come to admire as she handles her struggles toward independence from an abusive father. Her words are heart felt and full of courage and strength. Her journey hasn't been an easy one as she struggles to reconnect with her personal power. You can find Colleen's personal Declaration of Independence at the following link: . When you visit Colleen's blog, take the time to read the articles that tell of her journey to reach the point of declaring her independence.

Over the past few weeks, I have been sorting through some of my old writings looking for a particular few pages that are still eluding my searches. Instead I found a Bill of Rights list that I wrote for myself over 10 years ago that I want to share with you now.

I, Patricia Caldwell Singleton, have the right to be protected from active or passive abuses including physical incest, emotional incest, physical battering, verbal abuse and any other violation of physical or emotional boundaries.
I, Patricia Caldwell Singleton, should not have been subjected as a child to the following abuses: physical and emotional incest, verbal abuse, slappings, spiritual abuse and the violation of my physical and emotional boundaries.
I, Patricia Caldwell Singleton, give myself my assurance as an adult that I will never allow myself to be subjected to these abuses again, either at the hand of others or by my own hand.
I, Patricia Caldwell Singleton, will never knowingly inflict upon any other child these or any other passive or active abuses. The children I come in contact with, by my procreation or the procreation of others, deserve, as I did, to be protected from boundary violations and other inflictions that will damage their self-image or otherwise hinder their development into confident, healthy adults capable of loving and being loved.
The idea for the above Bill of Rights probably came from the book, Love Hunger Weight-Loss Workbook written by Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier, Dr. Robert Hemfelt and Dr. Sharon Sneed. The other papers that I found with this page were dated as being written on October 20, 1993.
Writing a Bill of Rights or a Declaration of Independence is all about reclaiming your personal power from the abuser. It is about taking on the responsibility of your own growth. One of my favorite bloggers from Australia, Craig Harper who writes the blog "Renovate Your Life" resently wrote two articles on personal power. You will find his articles at the following links:
I hope that those of you who live in the U. S. A. had a wonderful 4th of July holiday and didn't eat so much food that you were miserable afterwards. My husband was out of town for July 4-5 so I spent the day with my sister who is visiting from Texas for a few days and my son. It was a quiet day that I enjoyed spending with two of my favorite people.
Related Articles:

Grieving---A Necessary Process For Healing found at

True Independence Comes From In-dependence found at

Independence, Not Just For A Day found at


Colleen said...

Patricia, thank you for your link and for your kind and supportive words. They mean a lot to me. I do hope my Declaration of Independence helps others as I know now how difficult it is to live out. I am going to check out some of the other links in your post! God bless.

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, you are welcome. Even though you are struggling, maybe because you are struggling, you are an inspiration to others that I wanted to share with my readers. Your courage is awe inspiring.

Evelyn Lim said...

Isn't it wonderful that you've managed to unearth something that you have done 10 years ago and found that it represents something meaningfully to you?

Patricia Singleton said...

Evelyn, yes it is. Thanks for the visit.

Unknown said...

I think writing a declaration of independence is a great idea and one that can really help to provide a basis for anyone to lift themselves up from a bad situation or even a bad frame of mind, as the abuses sometimes can be one self. Thanks, great message.

Patricia Singleton said...

Yira, yes I think that Colleen did a great job of writing her declaration of independence. I just visited your blog. Good luck on running your marathon.

Marj aka Thriver said...

This Bill of Rights is perfect! And this post is perfect for the "Freedom to Heal" edition of THE BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, you are welcome. I look forward to reading all of the other blog carnival articles. Any readers here that are interested will find the July Blog Carnival: aka Freedom to Heal at