Sunday, June 21, 2009

Revisiting Forgiveness

The past few weeks have been a challenge for me to just get through the day. I am processing stuff from the recent family funeral and found that I needed to do some forgiveness work. It seems that forgiveness is always just around the corner waiting to be acknowledged again. Maybe that is why I have written about it so much.

Forgiveness, Done In Layers:

Happy Father's Day, Daddy:

Forgiveness Is For You, Not The Other Person:

Prelude To Forgiveness:

Forgiveness Starts With A Decision:

What Does Forgiveness Mean To Me?:

You would think with all this knowledge about the forgiveness process that I would be finished with forgiveness by now. Recovery is a journey through all of the layers and believe me when I say that there are many layers to go through. Survivors have layers of emotions that often haven't been dealt with or even acknowledged. Many of us have layers of pain on the physical and emotional levels. Some of these layers of pain get stored in the body. When I first started working on my incest issues in 1989-1990, that Winter I got bronchitis for the first time since I left home in 1971.

When you revisit the childhood abuse, there can be body pains and illnesses that accompany the emotions that come up for you. Recently I wondered if the tiredness that I have been dealing with lately was because I have been actively working on my incest issues again with my writings on this blog. Depression and grieving can be an active part of working on abuse issues. My energy levels have been very low for the past 6-8 weeks or longer. As part of taking care of myself, I went to a Wellness Counselor friend recently to see what he thought might be wrong. He told me that about 8 weeks ago, I came into contact with someone who had Mono. I don't know how to spell the official name of Mono. In layman's terms, it is sometimes called the kissing disease because that is the most common way to get it. No, I haven't kissed anybody besides my family. My friend says that with the Mono, I got Walking Pneumonia. I have been coughing some lately too, mostly at night. He gave me some herbs to help the condition. The past two days my energy levels have begun to get better. I am taking care of myself. I am also doing Reiki for myself each night. As I told another survivor recently, I survived the child abuse and I will survive this too. This is just a minor inconvenience.

Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there. Have a glorious day unless you choose to do otherwise.

The June Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse: Fathers and Parents is found at the Picture of Experience Blog at the following link:
Thanks to Cornnut32 for hosting the carnival this month. The Carnival comes with a "trigger warning: please read with caution, as many posts may be triggering to survivors of abuse." Having things that trigger flashbacks is one of the things that many abuse survivors learn to live with throughout their lives. Because of not feeling well recently, I missed the deadline for having one of my articles in this Carnival. I invite you to join me over the next few days to visit each of the contributors to this month's Carnival, read their articles and leave comments of encouragement and appreciation of their courage for each person that participates in this Carnival.


Vitor - Fractal Fr0st said...

Hi Patricia,

I know too well that deep emotional work is not easy. I'd say it's quite natural that this process manifests itself with a strong physical reaction, which is actually a sign that your body is defending itself and working its way towards better health, that your energy is moving and renewing itself.


Patricia Singleton said...

Vitor, I agree with you. I just visited your blog today but didn't leave a comment on your newest piece of art. I can only say "Wow!!! Beautiful!!! Awe Inspiring!!! so many times without sounding insincere. I love every piece of art that I have seen of your fractals. They are gorgeous. Thanks for visiting.

Deb Estep said...

Dear Patricia,

I want to share a passage from a book that I am reading...

"Besides love, forgiveness is the most powerful spiritual tool we possess. We can indeed change our destiny, the world, and ourselves by choosing to forgive. When someone is hurt, that hurt, left to fester, can grow into resentment. Time after time I have watched untreated resentment grow like weeds and ravage a person, choking off all life in it’s path."

"So, what is forgiveness? Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.............

"When we forgive, the door to happiness and health opens, bringing fulfillment, joy, and compassion. The act of forgiveness can release souls from atrocities that had scarred them for a lifetime."

Ghosts Among Us: Uncovering the Truth About the Other Side
by James Van Praagh

Patricia, openly you say...'I'm not perfect, but this is how my life is going'.

Sharing in the way that you do inspires ME.!!!!


Patricia Singleton said...

Deb, thanks for sharing the quote from the James Van Praagh book. He is an interesting man.

I am also inspired by you as a woman and friend. I am blessed and encouraged by having you in my life.

Marie said...


Coming to terms with the past is very draining. Maybe it is time to take a step back and do something nurturing for yourself!

I understand and realize that forgiveness is a important step in the healing process. There are days however we all fall short on this. So please give yourself a break!

Patricia Singleton said...

Marie, I have been taking care of myself these past few weeks. That is one reason that I slowed down on posting articles lately. Taking care of myself is something that I have had to learn to do. As a child, I was neglected so I had no role models to teach me self care. I may still sometimes be a little slow in realizing that I need to take a break. Like most things, I am definitely better than I used to be. Progress, not perfection is what I strive for. Thanks for your words of concern.

Deb Estep said...


That was excellent advice from Marie....

"Maybe it is time to take a step back and do something nurturing for yourself!"

Someone once shared with me...

"Remember to BE your own best friend"


Patricia Singleton said...

Deb, I am being nurturing to myself. I am not pushing myself to do anything right now. I am going at a slower speed. I am taking care of my health problems. I am not ignoring them. I am working on building my immumity up better.

If you mean take a step back from blogging, writing is nurturing for me. The real me comes out through my words. She finally gets a voice that can't be ignored like when she was a child. I am not pushing myself with deadlines. When the words need to be said, then the writing flows. That is why my posting new articles has been sporadic lately rather than on a specific time schedule. Deb and Marie, thanks for the helpful advice.

Deb Estep said...

HI Patricia,

Ohhhhhhh no, when I thought of a step back, it was more like a momentary re-grouping.

I know you post to your own speed
and within your own time. That is the only way to blog as far as I am concerned.

To push or just rush out posts for the sake of a message on a day is


Patricia Singleton said...

Thanks, Deb, I will follow your advice.

Marj aka Thriver said...

For me, I keep coming around again and again to forgiving myself. I think that's the biggest, first step. Wow! I'm glad you found out what was wrong and are taking care of yourself. I hope you feel better and back full of energy soon. Thanks for promoting the blog carnival. I sure do appreciate that.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marj, you are welcome for the carnival promotion. I hope that my readers go there and read each of the articles as I did earlier this week. I do feel better. Thanks.

Marie said...

Forgiveness has been on my mind a bit this week. I think it is time I write a poem about this!

Patricia Singleton said...

Marie, be sure and come back and leave a link here to your poem if you put it on one of your blogs so that I and my readers can find it to read.