The past few weeks have been a challenge for me to just get through the day. I am processing stuff from the recent family funeral and found that I needed to do some forgiveness work. It seems that forgiveness is always just around the corner waiting to be acknowledged again. Maybe that is why I have written about it so much.
Forgiveness, Done In Layers: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/forgiveness-done-in-layers.html
Happy Father's Day, Daddy: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/happy-fathers-day-daddy.html
Forgiveness Is For You, Not The Other Person: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-is-for-you-not-other-person.html
Prelude To Forgiveness: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/prelude-to-forgiveness.html
Forgiveness Starts With A Decision: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/08/forgiveness-starts-with-decision.html
What Does Forgiveness Mean To Me?: http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2008/09/what-does-forgiveness-mean-to-me.html
You would think with all this knowledge about the forgiveness process that I would be finished with forgiveness by now. Recovery is a journey through all of the layers and believe me when I say that there are many layers to go through. Survivors have layers of emotions that often haven't been dealt with or even acknowledged. Many of us have layers of pain on the physical and emotional levels. Some of these layers of pain get stored in the body. When I first started working on my incest issues in 1989-1990, that Winter I got bronchitis for the first time since I left home in 1971.
When you revisit the childhood abuse, there can be body pains and illnesses that accompany the emotions that come up for you. Recently I wondered if the tiredness that I have been dealing with lately was because I have been actively working on my incest issues again with my writings on this blog. Depression and grieving can be an active part of working on abuse issues. My energy levels have been very low for the past 6-8 weeks or longer. As part of taking care of myself, I went to a Wellness Counselor friend recently to see what he thought might be wrong. He told me that about 8 weeks ago, I came into contact with someone who had Mono. I don't know how to spell the official name of Mono. In layman's terms, it is sometimes called the kissing disease because that is the most common way to get it. No, I haven't kissed anybody besides my family. My friend says that with the Mono, I got Walking Pneumonia. I have been coughing some lately too, mostly at night. He gave me some herbs to help the condition. The past two days my energy levels have begun to get better. I am taking care of myself. I am also doing Reiki for myself each night. As I told another survivor recently, I survived the child abuse and I will survive this too. This is just a minor inconvenience.
Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there. Have a glorious day unless you choose to do otherwise.
The June Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse: Fathers and Parents is found at the Picture of Experience Blog at the following link: http://pictureofexperience.blogspot.com/2009/06/june-edition-of-blog-carnival-against.html
Thanks to Cornnut32 for hosting the carnival this month. The Carnival comes with a "trigger warning: please read with caution, as many posts may be triggering to survivors of abuse." Having things that trigger flashbacks is one of the things that many abuse survivors learn to live with throughout their lives. Because of not feeling well recently, I missed the deadline for having one of my articles in this Carnival. I invite you to join me over the next few days to visit each of the contributors to this month's Carnival, read their articles and leave comments of encouragement and appreciation of their courage for each person that participates in this Carnival.