From the book "Dare To Forgive" written by Edward M. Hallowell, M. D. in 2004, pages 17-18:
"But habitual, active forgiveness, the kind of forgiveness that elevates your life and makes you a healthier, happier, more effective person, does not happen by accident, by revelation or by the mere passage of time.
Forgiveness comes from a decision you made long ago to live in a certain way. You don't have to be religious; indeed, many religious people can't forgive anything. You don't have to be a goody-goody; indeed, many goody-goodies are secretly nasty. You don't have to become a saint, take special vows, undergo therapy or get on some medication.
All you really have to do is look for the best in others and in yourself. When you try to do that, you set forgiveness in motion."
Forgiveness isn't easy when you have been deeply hurt or betrayed by someone that you love. Forgiveness isn't immediate. It takes time and effort to let go of the hurt and anger. Forgiveness isn't a one-time event and it is done. It is something that you have to face over and over again until finally all or at least most of the hurt is gone. Then you are free of the pain. You still remember; it just doesn't hurt as much as it once did.
Is forgiveness worth the time and effort? Sure it is. So much of your life can be affected by holding in the anger and hurt. Once you can finally release those strong emotions, you feel better mentally, emotionally and physically. Forgiveness can make you a better person.
Forgiveness, Done In Layers --- http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/06/forgiveness-done-in-layers.html
Prelude To Forgiveness --- http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/prelude-to-forgiveness.html
Forgiveness Is For You, Not The Other Person --- http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/forgiveness-is-for-you-not-other-person.html