Back in April I ran across a blog called Empowering Wellness which is written by Fred Krazeise who is "a Nationally Certified Massage Therapist and Intrinsic Coach" who "combines wellness coaching and therapeutic body work to provide a source of healing for women suffering from physical or emotional pain or stress." The words in quotation marks comes from Fred's "About Me" page on his blog.
The article that Fred wrote that caught my attention was called "Emotional Healing Tissue Memory and Bodywork - What Happens and Why It is a Good Thing."
What I got from Fred's article is that abuse survivors have memories stored in the tissues of their bodies. I have heard this idea before but have not met anyone who does this type of massage as Fred does. Fred is like many of my healer friends and has incorporated several different healing methods into his own brand of healing. I have done the same with Reiki and several other healing modalities that I have been exposed to over the years. Thank you Fred for what you do. You are a treasure and a blessing to those who know you and to those women that you work with.
I have a dear friend who is a massage therapist so I asked if she knew anybody in our area that did this type of massage. She didn't. What she did recommend was that I go to our chiropractor who does Cranio-Sacral adjustments and ask if what he does would work at releasing body memories. Well, I did that last week. He also suggested that I use the services of an associate in his office who does EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for releasing energy that no longer serves the client. I have experience with EFT. I have their manual and have used EFT on myself and a friend in the past. I have even taken two classes over the past few years on different ways to use EFT for healing. Rather than me trying to explain how EFT works, you can find a lot of information about EFT at the website of its retired founder Gary Craig.
I had my first session with my chiropractor last Monday. I figure it may take awhile before I see any results of the Cranio-Sacral adjustments. On Monday, I had a regular adjustment to get everything back into alignment, especially my neck. The chiropractor agreed that my headaches and nausea that I have been experiencing a lot of over the past month could be because my neck was so out of line.
I had my first session with EFT on Thursday of last week. EFT works on the assumption that "The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body's energy system." (From "The Timeless Principles of EFT" from the above EFT website)
I really didn't know where to start with the EFT. I told my therapist/counselor (Not sure what to call him. I will have to ask next time that I see him.) that I have been working on incest issues for over 20 years and have healed quite a lot over the years. I told him that I am wanting to find out if I have any body memories that need to be released.
I mentioned that every time that I do work on my issues that I have to acknowledge that a part of me resists doing the work. A part of me is very resistant to change of any kind. We did some tapping on releasing this resistance. I believe that a lot of my headaches come from this resistance. Those headaches may be an area for us to work on next time.
We then moved to him asking me where I felt anger. I told him that I feel anger/rage in my solar plexus. He asked what it looked like and I told him a big black ball of rage that I carry in my solar plexus. Then we did some tapping on the different energy meridians in the body as I repeated whatever affirmations he told me to say. You will need to go to the above EFT link and do some reading about how to do EFT if you want to understand how it works. I know I am not doing a good job of explaining it but I don't remember a lot of what we said. I know that the next step was to look to see what the remaining anger looked like and it was cleared out of my solar plexus. It was gone. I remember at some point being asked to let the anger/rage flow out of my body however it wanted and in whatever direction it wanted to flow. I remember it flowed down my legs and out of my feet into the earth. Then we replaced the anger/rage with healing light. I remember that the light was yellow. When I run healing light through my body, I have learned to be okay with whatever color it chooses to be. Sometimes it is white. Sometimes it is yellow. Sometimes it is the pink light of love.
Next we went to the sadness that is in my heart. I told him that sadness has been almost a life-time companion. We did the tapping and the affirmations. The sadness was resistant to completely leave. Only about one-fourth of it left the first time. We did some more tapping and affirmations and then one of the affirmations that he had me say was something along the lines of "I live my life fully." When he said that I started to cry and my voice got shaky. I told him that it has been many, many years since I have fully lived my life. We did more tapping and affirmations along those lines until the tears and the shaky voice stopped.
What I know from reading about EFT in the past is that when you hit a major issue, the emotions, usually with tears will begin. When we finished the tapping with this statement of affirmation, the tears were gone and so was the sadness and heaviness in my heart. I felt joyful and lighter.
When we had the energy flowing from the solar plexus I was aware that it flowed downward into my legs and feet and into the earth. When we started the energy flowing from my heart to be released, it came out of my heart straight in front of my body and then flowed upward like going toward the sky, toward the heavens. When we ran healing light to fill the empty space left from releasing the black energy of sadness, the healing light flowed and filled my whole body. I felt the joy of healing light flowing through me. This is where we chose to end the session until two weeks from now.
I will be alternating the Cranio-Sacral adjustments one week and the next week will be the EFT sessions for awhile. I scheduled them on Thursdays because Thursdays are when I also have my Grief Class. That way I have the class that night to talk about anything that comes up that I may need extra time to talk about afterwords.
I know that I haven't been writing as many posts over the past month or so as I usually do. I have had several of my readers who are also friends come back and leave messages and hugs as they check up on me. I thank you all for that. You are greatly appreciated.
Since I started the Inner Child Letters Series of posts and before that the post about the abuse by my uncle, I have been slower at processes some of the stuff that has come up for me. I am taking care of myself by not pushing too hard and by just going with the flow. I thank you all for your love and patience. I am in a better place now than I was when I first started the Series.
One of my Inner Child Letters Series posts did not get mailed out by Blogger.com or if it did, it didn't get sent to me like all of the others do. I don't know how many of you got that post so I am going to put the link to that post here. It is a really important post in the series ending the letters to the three-year-old inner child. The name of the post is, "Three Year Old Adultress Carries The Shame Of Incest - Inner Child Letter Series." This is the post that talks about the healing of the shame of incest for me. The link for that post is as follows:
Thank you Fred for giving me the information to start this part of my journey. I honor you for the amazing work that you do with women. I wish you were here in my part of the world. I will do my best to take advantage of what God has put here for me to use.
I have asked two of my friends if they could see any differences in my aura since my EFT session last Thursday. Both said yes. One said my aura was not so dark as it was before. The other said that there is blue above my crown chakra. Blue is one of the healing colors. She said the blue hasn't been there in a long time. I see both of those as proof of the progress that I have already made with these two procedures.