Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Incest---86% Would Believe Their Daughters

Dr. Phil did a survey on his site recently that asked the question, "If your daughter came to you and said that your husband had inappropriately touched her, who would you believe? Daughter or Husband?" 86% said they would believe their daughter. 14% said they would believe their husband. That makes me feel good. One of the biggest fears of mine that kept me quiet was the fear that my mom wouldn't believe me if I told her about the incest. You can't imagine how crippling that fear is unless you feel it for yourself. To me, the abuse was more acceptable than the fact that my mother might not believe me. That is a very sad state of affairs.

6 comments:

Marie said...

One of my biggest reasons for not telling was my father. I was very scared of his reaction. It is a terrible thing to live in fear all the time.

Caroline said...

Very powerful. I would believe my daughter 100%. I think it would take so much courage to tell someone of the abuse.

Patricia Singleton said...

Marie, I agree with you that living in fear all the time is the worst. Facing those fears the first time is the hardest.

Patricia Singleton said...

Caroline, thanks for your comment and your belief in your daughter. I had probably 3 years of counseling behind me before I told my mom. My counseling was sitting beside me as support.

Mary said...

I was always scared to tell my mother because I knew she wouldn't believe me, she would believe my dad because he was "such a good husband and father", well guess what, he wasnt. So now I have to live with it, and still wonder if I am right about my mother.

Me... I would believe my daughter because it takes courage to tell someone especially your other parent. take carel..Mary

Patricia Singleton said...

Mary, thanks for sharing your story. I always believed that on some level my mom knew about the incest too. When I told her about the abuse, she denied knowing about it. I let it go at that. My mother was so shut down emotionally that she didn't "see" what was going on right in her own home because she couldn't deal with it. You can't see someone else's pain when you are in denial of your own pain.