Thursday, April 24, 2008

I Feel Like A Woman

Every time that I drive my son's car around town to do errands, he has a Shania Twain CD that he puts in for me to listen to. It is one of the few CD's that he has that we both like.

This article was inspired by one of Shania's songs and that is where the title of this article comes from. It may be the name of her song even. I am not sure. I love the Music video that she did for this song. She always looks as if she is having the time of her life doing these videos.

My favorite lines in the song are these:
"I feel like a woman."
"I want to be free to feel the way that I feel."
"The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun."

Personally, I think the best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to be free to feel whatever I feel. Men aren't always given that opportunity. Women are allowed to cry over anything and everything. Much of society consider a man who cries as being a sissy. To me, seeing a man cry makes him that much more of a man, a man who is secure in being who he is whatever the circumstances or emotions that come his way.

Because of the incest, I didn't always want to be a woman. I was a tomboy during most of my childhood liking to be running around outdoor rather than cooped up in the house doing housework. Reading a book was the only thing that I wanted to do when I was indoors. Boys seem to have so much more freedom that girls. I was heartbroken the day that I was told I could no longer wrestle with the boys because it wasn't ladylike. I was about 10 or 11 years old at the time.

To me, being a woman-child was the reason that I was abused, so I didn't want to be that. Being a woman meant that I had to go through the pain of periods every month. Wouldn't it be nice if men could have a period at least half of the time. Of course, there probably wouldn't be any babies born if men had to experience the monthly pains of menstuation and forget about them actually going through the pain of labor and giving birth. I was told that men enjoyed sex and women weren't supposed to. I can thank my husband Daniel for teaching me that that lie was just that, a lie.

Both of my parents taught me that it wasn't ok to feel. My mom taught by example, in that she didn't express feelings. She buried them. My dad taught that the alcoholic, him, was the only person who could express his anger. His anger was always in the form of verbal abuse, name calling and rage.

Today, I enjoy being a woman in all of its glorious and not so glorious aspects. I love who I am today. Today that means fully embracing all of me, including those emotions that I have had to learn to express in a healthy manner. Being angry is ok. Being responsible for what I do with that anger is ok. Being joyful is ok too. Happy, angry, sad, frightened are all ok to feel.

I love the line from Shania's song that says, "I want to be free to feel the way that I feel." Today, I am free to do just that or not, whichever I choose to do. Today I can glory in the needs and wants of my mind and body. Today I am connected to both body and mind.

I love playing grownup and being feminine, putting on pretty clothes, doing my hair and makeup. I also love wearing hats or just jeans and a teeshirt, as my mood strikes. I also love playing a child and having fun. Women are allowed to do all of these much easier than a man.

For most of my life, I was way too serious. I had to learn how to play and how to laugh. Laughter is another thing that my husband Daniel taught me. He says he liked my smile so much when we were dating that he would play the clown just to make me laugh so that he could see me smile. I had a shy smile back then. Now I laugh out loud. I believe that one of the reasons that God created mankind was to bring laughter into His world. See if you can tickle God's funny bone today with your laughter and sense of humor.

Today, be all that you can be in all that you do. If you are a woman, be that woman to the best of your abilities. If you are a man, be that man to the best of your abilities. Don't let lies keep you from living your life to the fullest. We are all children of God and that is a glorious thing to be. Blessings to all.


Jenny said...


I really like the the inspiration you found in a Shania Twain song. Out of all her that is a good one to represent being a woman! I hope that you keep being inspired to be a fun-loving, and free-sprited woman. Not being able to relate to you on the problems you have had in the past, I can't begin to understand your pain, I am happy you are on a path of happiness. A Shania song that I have found inspiring was on the same album called, Black Eyes, Blue Tears. Whenever I hear it, I feel somewhat empowered by the message of the song. Good Luck and keep posting, I look forward to more!

Patricia Singleton said...

Jenny, my world has always been full of inspiration. In that way, I am blessed. Thanks for your comment. I will see if I can find that particular song and listen to it. I haven't heard it before. Have a glorious day.

Andrea | Empowered Soul said...

This was a great article for me today, Patricia! A nice reminder to put some fun factor back into life and celebrate the Divine Feminine!

Maybe I'll go get a pedicure today :-)


Patricia Singleton said...

Andrea, glad to be of service. I just got my hair cut and bought a great new shade of fingernail polish myself. Think I will paint my fingernails and toe nails to celebrate Springtime. Have a glorious day.

Corinne Edwards said...

Dear Patricia -

You are an outstanding example that it is possible to overcome horrible experiences like incest - and come out of it with the intention of being whole. Whatever it takes.

Getting over and recognizing the shame as it comes up - over and over - for the slightest of slights has been the battle for me. And naming it right away so you say - "OK there it is again."

Your articles are so important to the one out of six women who have been sexually molested by a family member.

You allow us to come out. What a gift you are.

Patricia Singleton said...

Corinne, your words mean so much to me. Thank you.

Pat R said...

Beauty and the soft side of things are what we women add to the spice of life. I glad you've learned to let loose and have fun just being who you are meant to be.

You are a source of inspiration in what you've overcome. Keep loving life and love being the woman that you are.

I can hear that song in my head.

Patricia Singleton said...

Pat, thanks. As a woman, I do see so much beauty in life.

island wench said...

Just reading this put a smile on my face and made me feel lighter...

Although I grew up with a very kind loving father, I ended up marrying an abusive man. The only way I could get through the days was to not allow myself to feel the pain (nor any kind of joy, in case it got "taken away")and to go emotionally numb. When I finally got out of the relationship, one of the things I really enjoyed was the freedom to feel the whole range of emotions from anger to joy.

So, yes! "I want to be free to feel the way that I feel."



Patricia Singleton said...

Island Wench, glad I could provide a reason for a smile. Thanks for your comment.

Karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matters said...

It's true. Men aren't always allowed to be themselves in certain situations. Women have more emotional freedom. I don't think this is a bad thing.

Men have a lot more freedom in other areas.
- Walking around by themselves and at night.
- Men form bonds at work a little easier than women.
- We can open new jars of food.

I would like to have more emotional freedom and I think it's happening. I'm patient and can wait for everyone else to catch up.

Patricia Singleton said...

Karl, I agree that both sexes have their advantages. I would not want to be a male or female who are are soul support financially of their families and feel that they have no choice in their job situation. I started to say male but today many females with young children and single find themselves in this same situation. I like the fact that my husband makes enough money for the family so that if I choose to work or not, it is my choice.

I disagree with the idea that "Men form bonds at work a little easier than women." In my experience, and that is all it is, my experience, women makes friends quicker than men.

Thanks for your input. It is valued here.

Mother Earth said...

your husband sounds like a blessing and a gentle spirit

Patricia Singleton said...

Mother Earth, Daniel is both as well as being very wise. We have our 36th wedding anniversary coming up in August. For me, our love grows as I do, fuller and richer every year. I just thought I knew what the words "I love you." mean when I was young. Have a glorious Mother's Day.

DeStouet said...

This was beautiful, on-point and something that really resonated with me. I can't thank you enough!

Patricia Singleton said...

DeStouet, I am glad that you liked the article. Have a glorious day.

Liara Covert said...

Patricia, men and women all have infinite choices. Society may dictate which choices it would prefer individuals to make, but nothing is forced or imposed by anything but our personal mind. Change is an option.

Patricia Singleton said...

Liara, today I know that I have choices. I have always had choices. I just wasn't aware of them for many years. Today, I even know that I chose to experience all of the abuse for the growth that it would bring about in my life. I know that I am the wonderful, courageous, caring person that I am today because of the abuse. Without the childhood abuse, I would be someone else.