Tuesday, March 20, 2012

#Ididnotreport Campaign On Twitter

On Twitter for the past week, there has been a campaign by rape and child abuse survivors that use the hashtag #Ididnotreport .  This campaign is to bring more awareness and to give survivors a voice, some for the first time. My tweets are about why I did not report incest to anyone when I was a child and even when I was a young adult.  Many do not understand the tremendous amount of fear that survivors of abuse, and especially rape live with every day. Nothing is simple for a survivor. Here are some of the comments that I have Tweeted using this hashtag:

#Ididnotreport because I was told to respect all adults and to always do what they told me to do. Tell your children that they can say no.

#Ididnotreport because I didn't know that I had the right to say no to my abusers who were all adults.

#Ididnotreport because I was groomed by my abusers to be silent.

#Ididnotreport because I was too ashamed of what happened to me. I believed it was my fault. Not today.

#Ididnotreport when I became an adult because I was still afraid of being blamed for the incest.

#Ididnotreport because I was a child and afraid of losing my family.

#Ididnotreport because I thought I was to blame for the incest. Today I know differently.

#Ididnotreport because nobody ever asked me if something was wrong. If just one person had asked, I would have told.

If you are on Twitter, I hope that you will join me in Tweeting your own statements using the hashtag of #Ididnotreport .
Patricia

Here is a link to a blogger who first told me about the above campaign through her own blog article:

http://fragmentz.org/2012/03/15/ididnotreport/

17 comments:

Jane Rowan said...

Thank you so much, Patricia, for sharing this. I did not report because:
-Who would I report it to? My world was my family.
-I was afraid I would "break" my family.
-I was sure, after my mother told me to forget it, that no one would be believe me.
-I was ashamed.
This secrecy and silence is so much what my book, The River of Forgetting, is about.

I will Tweet!!

Patricia Singleton said...

Jane, thank you for Tweeting and for your list of #Ididnotreport reasons. One of the biggest reasons for many of us not reporting was that we were children when we were abused. We didn't know what was normal behavior and what was not. Fear was another.

Bongo said...

I remember I told the first time when I was 9...it was my dad that I told and it was his mother and brother that were abusing me.....I remember being so scared when I told because my abusers told me they would kill my mommy and younger brother if I told...the abuse went on for 3 more years because I was ignored..I remember many a time..waking up in the night and looking at my mommy to make sure she was still breathing and alive.....even being in trauma therapy ...there is many a session that I still panic every time I talk about it .......thank you for this post.....As always...XOXOXOXO

Patricia Singleton said...

Bongo, I am amazing at your courage in facing your abuse and the healing work that you are doing. You are very welcome. I am glad that you feel safe enough here to leave a comment. Thank you.

Patricia Singleton said...

Bongo, that first statement should read, "I am amazed..." Saw it just as my finger hit the post button. You are the one who is amazing in your courage.

aspiritofhealingsings said...

Thanks Patricia for sharing this. I was not aware of this campaign but it is brilliant.
And here is something for you: http://singingoverthebonesandrisingfromtheashes.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/wordless-wednesday-award-spiritual-journey-of-a-lightworker/

Patricia Singleton said...

A Spirit of Healing Sings, thank you so much for the Wordless Wednesday Award. I appreciate you and the work that you do in reaching out to other survivors. You are very welcome for the sharing of my article.

Pam said...

It seems that in any kind of sexual abuse the victim carries the shame. It shouldn't be that way but since I finally understood that I was abused and not at fault, I'm surprised by how many of my friends cringe and can't understand why I want to talk about it. Even if they believe I was the victim, they still think I should be ashamed. I imagine that is magnified at least, ten times when the sexual abuse is incest. I admire your courage, Pat.

Pam

Patricia Singleton said...

Pam, thank you. People who think you should be ashamed are judgmental and are blaming you for your own abuse. That is just plain wrong. I have discovered over the years that a lot of people that think that way often have their own unresolved issues with shame. That is why when we talk about incest or rape, they feel so uncomfortable. They need your prayers more than you need theirs. Those that want me to keep the incest a secret usually are either abusers or have been abused themselves and haven't told anyone their secret.

Pam said...

Pat, I think people are judgemental often because they think they can prevent something like that from happening to them. They lack empathy and think too highly of themselves, in that they don't believe something simular could happen to them.They think I could have prevented it. They are ignorant and often, willfully ignormant. Ignorance hurts but willful ignorance is evil. You're right, they do need prayers and education. Victims need to speak up and keep talking until they get it!

Pam

Pam

Patricia Singleton said...

Pam, I haven't had too much experience with that type of willingly ignorant person but I agree with your description of them. Yes, one way to go from being a victim to a survivor is by speaking up. People do listen.

Roger and Marge Armbruster said...

Patricia, thank you from my heart for telling your story,and for allowing others to tell their story. As you say, grieving is such an essential part of the healing process, and I think that by becoming more aware of each other's blogs, that it is helping us to understand each other better and where we are coming from. Thank you for your comment on my blog It means more than words can say, just to know that we are being "heard" and "understood" in each others hearts and minds. May God use you more and more is my prayer.

Patricia Singleton said...

Roger, you are very welcome. Thank you for visiting Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker. Thank you for your prayers. I welcome them. I send prayers for your work in Canada as well. Understanding is so important in our dealings with each other.

Lynn C. Tolson said...

Thank you for taking the time to compile this. It's all the more poignant because the reasons are in survivor's own words. Cheers!

Patricia Singleton said...

Lynn, you are very welcome. If you accept hugs, I am sending you one. Have a glorious day.

celesteka said...

Patricia, thank you so much for posting the love links; I look forward to reading them.

Thank you also for listing your reasons #Ididnotreport. I can relate to all of these. I did not report because I didn't remember until my late 30's and at first I was afraid to say anything because I didn't want to lose my family. When I did speak out I did lose my family; after my grief, I was thankful to be separate from them so that I could remember even more details surrounding the abuse. I also remembered my siblings abusing me and that they were abused as well. I became much stronger inside after I faced my perpetrator and shared my story with all my family members.

Thank you so much for being such a strong crusader for us all.

Patricia Singleton said...

Celesteka, you are very welcome. I hope that you find value in the blog links. Thank you for sharing your own #Ididnotreport statements.