Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dialogues With Dignity: Progress Over Perfection

Dialogues With Dignity is described as "A safe and dignified roundtable discussion among trusted friends" on its webpage which you will find posted below.

Progress Over Perfection was the topic of our discussion on Tuesday, August 23 when I was a guest on their show.  The discussion was between my friends Dan Hays, Ellen Brown, Stash Serafin and me, Patricia Singleton.  We discussed such things as letting go of perfectionism which can be shaming when we fail and beat ourselves up for failing. Expections and trying versus doing were among the topics discusses.  I hope that you will join me in listening to this interested conversation between four friends at the following link:


Feel free to leave comments here and at the website. Hope you enjoy the show. I know that I did.

19 comments:

Patricia Singleton said...

I forgot to mention that today is our 39th Wedding Anniversary.

Jan Frayne said...

Hi Patricia, I really enjoyed the show and found it enlightening and moving. You have such grace and composure, you are a true inspiration and I am proud to call you my tribal friend.

Jan Frayne said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Patricia Singleton said...

Jan, I appreciate your comment and your friendship. Enjoying our conversations on Tribber.com too. Your courage in speaking out enables other survivors to do the same.

Patricia Singleton said...

Jan, thank you. I have already told my husband that for our 40th next year, I want a big party to share our joy with our friends. With the death of several friends over the past 5 years, I haven't felt much like having a party in a long time.

Sandy said...

Happy Anniversary :) 39 years is amazing :)

Patricia Singleton said...

Sandy, thank you. It is amazing even to me. Mostly because of my incest issues, it has taken a lot of patience and love from my husband. He has been a major blessing in my life. He gives me love and stability. He provides a safe place for me to work on myself and a safe place for me to be myself.

The 4 years that I was learning how to feel and do anger in a healthy manner were the hardest years of our marriage. There were times when I know my husband wished that I had never opened the door to incest.

Before that I was pretending that everything was okay. I would have occasional angry blowups and crying jags but for 4 years while I learned how to feel and let go of the rage that had built in me as a child and young adult who was numbing and stuffing my anger inside, it felt like I was angry all the time. Even though those 4 years felt like Hell, the end result of opening up and feeling all of my emotions was worth it. Today joy and happiness are a part of my life.

Today, often just feeling the minor irritation in my body and mind and saying "I am angry." is usually enough to be able to let it go. I rarely do rage any more.

On our 25th anniversary, we renewed our wedding vows. I believe that two things have been responsible for our love for each other continuing to grow. The first is that we both have a wonderful, sometimes quirky sense of humor. Laughter really is the best medicine to use an old cliche.

The second thing is commitment. When things got their worst, I would look at the best things in our marriage relationship and use those things to hold on to until we were passed the worst.

Our love is stronger today than it has ever been. We have been through the fire of incest and survived. Today we are thriving as individuals and as a couple. We also never got lost in each other. We are both very strong personalities. We do things together and we do things separately. Sorry, I didn't intend to write so much when I started this comment.

Just Be Real said...

First off Happy Anniversary and thank you for sharing the link to the show. Profound. Blessings.

Patricia Singleton said...

JBR, thank you very much. Hope that your mother is doing well after her surgery. Blessings to both of you.

Colleen said...

Happy anniversary! I am so proud of you for all you are doing. Thank you so much.

Jessica M said...

This is my first time at your blog. What a great discussion! Thanks for sharing the link. Happy Anniversary! I look forward to hearing many more broadcasts :)

This post reminded me of the one I just published today. I rarely do interviews but I posted a podcast interview and I'd love your thoughts if you ever have the chance:


http://ascendingthehills.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-interview-with-bill-huffhine.html

Hope you enjoy it! :) Blessings

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thank you for the anniversary good wishes. You are so very welcome. Your support helps me to continue to grow and do so much. I never ever expected that I would be talking about incest and healing on the radio when I started this blog 4 years ago. Meeting Cyrus Webb and Dan Hays has had such unexpected, very good consequences.

Patricia Singleton said...

Jessica, welcome to Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker. Thank you for your comment. I am listening to your interview now.

Just Be Real said...

Thank you for your concern Pat. She doing as well as expected. It is hard at this time when I am really the only one taking care of her. But, I will manage.

Patricia Singleton said...

JBR, sending prayers and Reiki to you and your mom.

Lindsay said...

Just had to wish you two a happy anniversary! That is incredible. You're a testament to loyalty & love, the two of you. May you share many more years together.

Patricia Singleton said...

Lindsay, thank you so much. I have to give most of the credit to my very patient husband. His love means everything to me. His support has given me to freedom and the space to become the best that I can be. In so doing, he has grown right there beside me.

From Tracie said...

Thanks for sharing this with the Blog Carnival, Patricia. I'm going to head over there and listen to the discussion now. What a great format.

Patricia Singleton said...

Tracie, you are very welcome. I am glad that I can be a part of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. I enjoy the conversations that go on with Dialogues With Dignity.