Wednesday, June 1, 2011

4th Anniversary For Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

Today I am celebrating the 4th year anniversary of my blog.  I am inviting you, my readers, to celebrate by leaving comments to let me know if I and my blog have made any difference in your life.  Sometimes it is good to know the impact that we may have on others.

I am still on an emotional high from the radio program that I was on last night with Cyrus Webb as the moderation and owner of Conversations LIVE! Radio on BlogTalkRadio, Darlene Ouimet who is my friend and has her own blog Emerging From Broken, and Brad Rickerby friend and blogger of I am a Survivor.  If you missed out on our very  powerful talk last night, you can still listen at the following link:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/conversationslive/2011/06/01/cyrus-webb-presents-you-are-not-alone

I talked with Cyrus this morning on my Facebook page and he said that this show has gotten the highest rating of any of his shows this year.  That is great news.  It means that more people are being educated about child sexual abuse and its effects upon survivors. 

The title of last night's radio program was "You Are Not Alone."  That could be the title of my purpose in using my blog to reach out to other survivors.  When I first admitted that I was an incest survivor in the late 1970's, I was pretty much alone.  The county library had only three books on the topic of incest or sexual abuse.  I devoured those three books and then there was nothing, no support of any kind that I could find so I continued on trying to ignore my incest issues and hoping they would go away on their own.  They didn't. 

It was in January of 1989, that I found help through 12-Step programs that I ernestly began my walk toward healing from incest.  It is a blessing that my dad was an alcoholic.  Without being an adult child of an alcholic, I might not would have ever started walking down my healing path.  It was another blessing that those 12-Step people became my friends and let me talk about incest in those groups.  Since then, I have seen groups that only want you to talk about how the alcoholism is affecting your life.  They don't want to hear about the incest and other abuses that happened in my dysfunctional family. 

In those early days, I could not separate what were the effects of the alcoholism and what were the effects of incest.  They were too intertwined to be separated.  I read somewhere that alcoholism is often present where incest happens. I never blamed the alcoholism for the incest because my dad was sober as much or more often than he was drunk when he sexually abused me.

I am very pleased to see the community of survivors and others who read my blog has continued to grow though the past 4 years.  Since I started using Twitter and Facebook sometime in the past year and a half, the number of readers of my blog have more than doubled.  I thank each of my readers for being a part of this growth and this community.  I am very glad that you are all a part of my blog community.  Thanks for being here.
Patricia

50 comments:

Les said...

You are such a strong soul, and you're doing so much good with your bravery and honesty.

Congratulations on four years! :-)

Patricia Singleton said...

Les, thank you. Have you listened to last night's radio program yet. Even though I was a part of the program, I think it was awesome.

Lynn C. Tolson said...

Patricia, I don't know how I could have missed your courageous work! When I was 10, I looked up the word "incest" in the dictionary, to see if it applied to me. That was about all I had to go on during the same time frame you mention. Thank you for being open about your healing journey! Lynn

Faith said...

Although we have only recently found each other, I must congratulate you on your 4 years of service to our community and tell you how much I admire the work you are doing.

As for the program last night, it was wonderful and I hope all will take the time to listen to it. I was able to relate on so many levels. What strides we have taken from the 70s to now and yet so long is the road still to be traveled.

Many wishes for continued success on your personal journey as well as your blog, and thanks again for sharing!

Patricia Singleton said...

Lynn, you are very welcome. I have seen your name around on FB for awhile now. I believe that we connect with others when the timing is right. Welcome to my blog and to my world.

Mari said...

I love reading your blog, your strength is inspiring.

Patricia Singleton said...

Faith, thank you so much. I am glad that we have connected. Yes, we have come so far since the 1970's when there were very few resources.

That time of little support in healing is why I feel it is so important to reach out to the men who are just now beginning to speak out about childhood sexual abuse. Society makes it even harder for men to speak out than it was for women to speak out in the past.

Faith,I admire your courage in speaking out too. We are all helping each other. Thank you for your comment.

Patricia Singleton said...

Mari, thank you so much. Hope you are having a glorious day. I appreciate you taking the time to visit and leave a comment.

Joy said...

I can say you are a wonderful testimony and inspiration to all of us who are survivors of incest.I hope you celebrated your 4th anniversary with great festivity as you deserve to. I am so blessed to know you and hope someday i can be marking my anniversaries..joy

Patricia Singleton said...

Joy, thank you. One day you will be able to look back and count anniversaries.

Mike McBride said...

Congrats on 4 years Patricia! Yes you are definitely making a difference. As the title of the show says, it takes all of us out here talking about our histories to prove to survivors that we are not alone!

Patricia Singleton said...

Mike, thank you. Yes, working together we can accomplish so much more than working alone to stop child abuse.

Hold Fast said...

Patricia,
I have been following your blog for a while and am healing as you are healing. It is so important for me to know there are others out there who have had abusive childhoods. I always felt I was alone and no one would ever understand. Your blog has been very validating that what happened to me when I was young was wrong. Thank you so much.

Corinne Edwards said...

Patricia -

You have taken shame out of the closet and exposed it to bright sunshine.

I don't think it is possible to give you an idea of how important your work is.

I always tell you that you are the bravest blogger on the Internet.

I wonder if you know that.

Patricia Singleton said...

Corinne, probably not. I don't see myself as an braver than any other survivor that I have met over the internet in the past 4 years. I do thank you for your words. I am glad that you have been here to remind me for most of the 4 years that I have been online. You are a gracious lady. I am glad to call you my friend.

Patricia Singleton said...

Hold Fast, yes you have been here awhile now. I am always glad to see your comments.

Thank you for letting me know that I help you to not feel alone. I did feel alone for so much of my healing journey. I don't want that for other survivors.

Feeling supported, feeling that someone really does care about you, knowing that others have been down the same road as you just makes it easier to go down that hard road putting one foot in front of the other over and over again. Thank you for being part of my healing journey. Yes, what was done to you as a child was very wrong.

Lindsay said...

This is my first stop at your site but I'm glad I found you! Congrats on your 4 year blogiversary!

Dan L Hays said...

Patricia -
What a powerful and empowering show last night. You, Darlene and Brad spoke eloquently, and you spoke your truth - and that is part of the healing process. Your presence and poise in speaking on the radio is very noticeable and definite. You have quite a gift for sharing and public speaking. You did great, even with the questions Cyrus asks, which can sometimes be breathtakingly insightful.

Congratulations on the 4 year anniversary of your blog! You are doing amazing work - keep doing it!

Dan

Patricia Singleton said...

Lindsay, welcome. Thank you. I love that word "blogiversary". I have not heard it before and it rocks.

Patricia Singleton said...

Dan, Thank you. I totally agree about the show. I am just honored to be a part of it.

As for the public speaking, I am still unsure and feeling my way around. Not knowing the questions that Cyrus will ask keeps me thinking on the run. When I stutter or change directions, it is because my mind is too far ahead of what I am saying at the time.

Every so often taking a class on public speaking goes through my mind and then I remember the terror of my only Speech class in college. I took it because it was a requirement not because I wanted to.

Thanks to that class, I am conscious that I don't need to speak so fast. In Speech class we had to write 3 minute or 10 minute speechs and then give them in front of the class. Every single time, my 3 minute speech would be completed in 1 minute or less because I would talk so fast and because I was terrified. I learned so much in that class even though it terrified me.

Glad we are friends. Thank you for originally introducing Cyrus and I.

Laura said...

Hi Patricia,

I think it was about 2-3 years ago that I found your blog. I have often wondered what drew me to your blog as I have not been down the same path you have, but then realized it was about the healing itself, not the specific causes of the pain.

Your words have always brought comfort to me. Thank you for sharing your life story with us and a big congratulations on 4 years!

Patricia Singleton said...

Laura, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, it is the healing that is important, not the pain. I appreciate you taking the time to leave your comment today. We, many times, don't know the people whose lives we may touch with our words or a kindness or even a smile.

Dan L Hays said...

Patricia -
On public speaking "unsure and feeling my way around" - you sure don't sound that way to me! You speak in a calm and measured voice. You sound like someone with a lot of public speaking experience. I know what you mean about learning a lot with speech class. I had a similar experience.

I'm so glad you and Cyrus connected through me. As I remember, he found you through a comment you made on my website. It has turned into a very fruitful relationship, and I'm glad you're a part of his forum! :)
Dan

Pastor Sharon said...

I just listened to the radio broadcast. First, congratulations on your 4 year anniversary here. Second, thank you for your incredible voice.

Patricia Singleton said...

Dan, I appreciate your feedback. I was, just this afternoon, having a conversation with one of my best friends over the telephone about how we rarely see ourselves as others see us.

You see the outer calm which I am glad is there and I feel the inner nerves that are going on. I am glad that I appear calm and professional. Thank you for that. I do always sound better when I listen to the recording that I expect to. I, too, am very glad to be a part of Cyrus's forum.

Patricia Singleton said...

Pastor Sharon, thank you so much for both comments. I appreciate that you are here.

Pastor Sharon said...

Thanks for stopping by. I had started my story over at another blog a few months ago. It was through following you, Tracy and a couple others that I decided it was time to let it all be in written form under the "real" me.

So, I really thank you for your voice!

Patricia Singleton said...

Pastor Sharon, thank you so much for sharing that information with me. I appreciate your courage and your vulnerability in sharing your story.

Dan L Hays said...

Patricia, I know exactly what you mean about "the outer calm ... I feel the inner nerves." I've had that in public speaking situations where I felt like I was squeaking like Mickey Mouse and later feedback was that I had a strong and measured voice. I didn't see myself as others did, like you said. :)
Dan

Patricia Singleton said...

Pastor Sharon, you are finding your own voice and it is beautiful.

Patricia Singleton said...

Dan, I know I am getting better because I didn't mess up dialing the phone number this time. I got through with 12 minutes to spare. I also wasn't physically shaking like the very first time.

I do feel myself getting calmer with the conversations. Darlene doesn't know it but she gave me permission to say, "I don't know how to answer that question." when she said it. I was so glad that she was the first one with the question about power.

I have been thinking about the question about who I would be without the incest happening to me and I will do a blog post about it when I finish processing it.

Thanks for these comments. We have both been too busy lately to have our usual email conversations. I have missed them.

Barbara F. Manning said...

You do AWESOME WORK, Dear Patricia! Congratulations on your 4th Year Anniversary!

Keep at it! You are such an inspiration to so many!!

Love, Hugs & Blessings to you!

Patricia Singleton said...

Barbara, when I saw your name on Facebook a few minutes ago, I just knew that you would be along directly to leave a comment. Hope you have been well. I thank you for your words, your love, your hugs and your blessings and send them all back to you. Have a glorious weekend.

Jane Rowan said...

Hi Patricia, and congratulations on 4 years of this important work. You are such an active and positive voice for Good!
Jane

Susan said...

Lynn; you said: "I think it was about 2-3 years ago that I found your blog. I have often wondered what drew me to your blog as I have not been down the same path you have, but then realized it was about the healing itself, not the specific causes of the pain."

You said so succintly what I've discovered for myself; that we each have our own stories but the journey is about the healing process that is so similar for all of us. I used to get lost in the "story" but it was when I realized healing was not just the story that I finally began to heal. Thank you for the way you put that:)

@Patricia;; congratulations on 4 years of shining the light! I feel so grateful to have met you and made such a wonderful friend along the way! Your courage to speak the unspeakable opens so many doors and shines such a bright light that one cannot help but begin to find hope for healing:)

Patricia Singleton said...

Jane, thank you so much. I appreciate your presence here on my blog.

Patricia Singleton said...

Susan, thank you so much for your support and friendship.

It was Laura that said the healing is what drew her here to my blog. I appreciate both of you being here. Your comments always add more to the topic of my blog post.

Dan L Hays said...

Patricia, isn't it wonderful that this show sparked questions that will lead to further illumination and another post by you! Very cool!

Wonderful that Darlene modeled for you how to say "I don't know" about a question!

I've missed our email chats as well! We need to resume them! :)
Dan

Kim Vazquez said...

Hi Patricia! I'm here celebrating with you! Happy 4 years!

You are a powerful lightworker! Your work does make a difference and I thank you for your continued dedication.

Congrats on your interview with Cyrus.

I'll be continuing to tune in. Blessings to you my sister of light.
Peace & Love,
Kim

Patricia Singleton said...

Dan, yes it is. I am going to listen to the show again later on today. Yes, Darlene made it easier for me to admit that I didn't know the answer either. We will resume our chats.

Patricia Singleton said...

Thank you to everyone who has left a comment over the past few days. This is the most traffic that I have had here in quite awhile. It feels good to know that my blog is helping others. I appreciate everyone of you who is a part of my online community here and on Facebook and Twitter.

Patricia Singleton said...

Kim, thank you. I appreciate your words and your blessings. It is a joy to find other sisters who do healing work.

Judy Dunn said...

Patricia, look at all these comments! Must be so gratifying to know that you are helping so many people by sharing your story.

And 4 years? Your blog is older than mine. That's impressive. : ) Happy anniversary and here's to many more!

Patricia Singleton said...

Judy, thank you. It is gratifying. Sometime after I started my blog, I read a statistic that said most blogs don't survive until their first year anniversary. I really enjoy the writing and love the people that I have met through my blog.

Colleen said...

Happy Anniversary! It has been 3 years for me this fall. I posted today on the fact that I have not been around much. But I keep an eye on your posts and read when I can.
I am working hard on a Catholic website. If it goes well, I may try a survivor website. I will let you know.
I am also thinking of a sequel to my book on being a survivor. Busy busy.
Congrats on your radio show. We have come a long way since first "meeting" each other. I continue to pray for you and thank you for your support.

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thank you so much. I will look forward to reading your second book. Please let me know when I can buy it. I thank you for your prayers and support. Thanks for the congrats on the latest radio show. It was awesome being a part of that. Yes, we have both come a long way since we started this blogger journey.

From Tracie said...

Patricia, I feel very blessed to know you. Happy 4 year anniversary! That is huge! So many bloggers fade out long before that, and you have stood strong, unwavering in your mission to be a voice for those who are not able to speak, and a source of information and encouragement for those on the healing path.

Many blessings to you.

Patricia Singleton said...

Tracie, thank you so much. I know that statistics say that most blogs don't make it to their first anniversary. I appreciate your visit and your support. Hope you are having a glorious weekend.

Barbara Swafford said...

Hi Patricia,

Congratulations on four years of blogging. That's truly a huge milestone worth celebrating.

Congratulations also on all you've done to bring the issue of incest to the forefront. You're a real angel, and a blessing to many.

Keep doing what you're doing. You are making a difference. xo

Patricia Singleton said...

Barbara, thank you. It always helps when someone tells me that I am making a difference. Thanks for visiting.