Some people are blind to abuse because it isn't in their experience, so they don't see the signs.
Some people are blind to abuse because they don't want to see.
Some people are blind to abuse because they don't want to see what they already know is happening.
Some people are blind to abuse because to see would be to feel their own pain.
Some people are blind to abuse because to see would mean that they would have to act and they are afraid of change.
Some people are blind to abuse because they don't want the responsibility of doing something.
Some people are blind to abuse because they can't believe that another adult would do such things to a child.
Some people are blind to abuse because they don't want to ruin someone else's life if they are wrong.
Some people are blind to abuse because they don't want to stick their nose in somebody else's business.
Some people are blind to abuse because they just don't care.
Please, please don't be any of the above. Become aware. If you can, do something to make yourself more knowledgable of the signs of child abuse. Do a search online. Learn more about how to stop child abuse. Ask a survivor of child abuse what you can do to help them feel valued and safe. Give your child a hug and tell them you love them. Tell them they can come to you to talk about anything.
Patricia
16 comments:
Really great post. I love all of the reasons you've listed. They are so true (and so sad as well).
Wow! Awesome! I've never come up with a list like this, but it is so good. Let's save this for a blog carnival edition some time, okay? I think I'm setting up hosts for the next two months. Thank you so much for your wonderful advocacy and awareness-raising.
Positively Present, it is sad but true that people do these.
Marj, I will submit this to the Carnival soon. I have never seen a list like this done by anyone either. It came about because of a recent conversation between my daughter and me.
Patricia great insight and list. Thanks for sharing....wow.
Blessings!
Just Be Real, blessings to you too. These excuses are something I had never thought of either as a group until I sat down and started writing this article.
Hi Patricia,
I read these words today - and sadly - I'm reminded, and really haunted, by a time many years ago. I don't remember the specifics, except that it same like abuse to a child - I was probably in high school or college. Waiting in line to get into this event. And a parent (presumably) was very verbally abusive to a child - a young child - language I would never use with anyone - let alone a young child. And I think there were signs that this was more that just verbal abuse. And I just remember everyone around them (myself included) pretended like nothing was happening. I thought I was too young to do anything. And I was intimidated by this. Still - I could have done something. That image sticks with me 20 years later. Why didn't I do something? Why didn't anyone do something?
Right now I have a heavy heart, with this though in my soul. I hope I was wrong about it. Still - how often does this go on - where we ignore the signs?
Lance, forgive yourself. Use that knowledge to help someone else today if the chance arises. Pass your awareness along to your children when they are an appropriate age. Today you are not helpless to do nothing as you were when you were a child. Awareness is so important.
I think society has to more clearly define "abuse".(can of worms)
We hear about parents being arrested for spanking children, yet the school wants to hit them with boards for being late for class.
Is it abuse if you hit their bottom more than so many times? Or if you smack them across the face instead of their bottom?
I think that is why most people just choose to look the other way.
Ray, I believe that most of us know when abuse is being done. My mom would sometimes slap us across the face. That was humiliation, pure and simple and not necessary. I d0 not see spanking as child abuse. It is not the same as beating a child. For some children spankings work and for some they don't. I didn't spank everytime that I disciplined my children. Spanking was not my first choice of discipline.
Great list, great post.
April, thank you.
The list is very profound. Great post.
Wanda, thank you. I sat down and wrote it after a conversation with my daughter about childhood abuse.
I mostly agree...have a little trouble with the first one. maybe it's because I don't want to beleive that one. But really, I think those that don't have it in their experience would notice the signs right away and do something about it, and actually, I honestly think that most of those that don't have it in their experience notice the flags and never even become further involved with those that raise the flags...in fact they would not even be good targets for the predators because that which is unfamiliar to us generally we question...without thinking we shouldn't. It's those things that are on some level familar to us that make us scared to question. But I could be all wrong here.
Wendi, some people without the experience of abuse do notice the signs or at least something that is questionable in what they see but I have actually heard people said that they don't notice anything wrong because they themselves have never been abused. Thank you for visiting and for your comment.
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