Do you have this person in your life that just pushes everyone of your buttons and you automatically start negative thoughts going off in your mind. It happens before you can catch yourself because this person sets off so many alarms.
He isn't trustworthy. She doesn't look you in the eyes when you talk to her. He hurt you more than once. She chews you out to someone else rather than saying those things to your face fully expecting that person to tell you every word she said. Which they do. Which leaves you feeling angry and raw and probably directing your anger at the wrong person.
That happened to me this morning, in my own home when a group of people came to visit. The button pusher was all nice and even asked how I was doing---like I really want to be honest and tell him.
I don't like giving up my power to this person and that is just what I did. I was polite and friendly and he has no idea of the thoughts going through my mind. I know the reasons that he behaves the way that he does and it doesn't make any difference in the way I feel about him.
What do I need to do about this situation? I will continue to run into this person because of the group that he belongs to. So I have to deal with him a few times a year. I will continue to protect myself and not give him any more ammunition to use against me.
I used to like this person. I even considered him a friend. I still like some things about him. I understand about his wounded childhood and his lack of trust of other people and his extreme fear of being used and hurt. I see those things in him and others because for many years it was part of my makeup. He becomes your friend because he so desperately wants your friendship and approval. Then he gets scared, terrified is probably a better word, and he does things to push you away. Knowing this about him is why I am able to understand and not get angry and lash out at him which would only have me making the situation worse.
Two angry, scared people trading rude comments and name-calling just makes the problem worse. It is what I grew up seeing my parents do so I know nothing gets solved. When this person isn't in my face, I can see clearly and send him love and light. Maybe after looking at this situation while I am writing this will remove the emotional sting so that I can just send him love and light rather than getting pulled into his game playing and my mind chatter.
Today, every time that I think about him I going to surround him with love and light and see the mirror that he has been for me today. Sorting out all of this does help. I won't know until next time that I see him how much this has made a difference.
Do you have any people in your life like this? I am not saying to accept abuse from the people. I am saying don't add to the situation by adding your own abusive behavior back to this person. Pay back, as pleasant as it sounds sometimes, doesn't solve the problem. Don't abuse others. Don't allow yourself to be abused. If possible remove yourself from the company of this person. And most important of all, don't abuse yourself or blame yourself for having the kind of thoughts that I had earlier today. See your thoughts for what they are---a negative reaction that doesn't have to be acted upon. Don't stuff those negative emotions because that can do damage to you. Feeling them doesn't mean you have to act on them. Feel them. Look at the cause. Look at the lesson. Then let them go.
When you find yourself in a situation like mine, look at what the person is mirroring in you. If needed, work on healing that part of yourself that is doing the reacting. This is just one way of dealing with troublesome people that works for me. What works for you?
I am sending love and light to this person, to you and to myself. Have a glorious day.