Saturday, October 26, 2013

Family Emergencies and Stress

Wow! I am surprised to see that it has been almost a month since I posted my last article. So much has gone on in my life and in my family since I was here last. 

On September 30, my husband's middle brother went to the ER unconscious and unresponsive to his mother trying to wake him up after he woke her up first coughing and then making a noise that caused her to get out out bed at 3:30 a.m. to see if he was okay. First he was taken by ambulance to their little hospital where they quickly decided that he needed more treatment than they could give him. They told his mother that he had a brain hemorrhage. He was flown by helicopter to a bigger medical center in Shreveport, Louisiana. There we were told that he had a brain aneurysm with a lot of bleeding. The doctors immediately started draining the blood off of his brain while they did other tests and finally at 6:00 that evening, surgery was done to access the amount of damage and to also put something in the blood vessel to stop the bleeding. We drove 4 hours to get to the hospital 3 hours before the surgery was done. After the surgery, we were told that my brother-in-law had a 30% chance of surviving that first night. The surgeon's body language said they would be surprised if he survived at all. Well everyone that I could ask for prayers were saying them. My brother-in-law has now survived for 1 month, as of today. I believe everyone's prayers are why my brother-in-law is still with us. He has a long period of recovering ahead of him. Some days he knows who he is and who we are and some days he does not. I appreciate everyone's prayers and I know he does too. Thank you all.

We have made 3 trips down to visit my brother-in-law and mother-in-law since that early morning brain aneurysm burst. We didn't go this weekend because of my husband having work here that couldn't wait. In addition to worrying about my brother-in-law, we have worried about my 92 year old mother-in-law worrying about her son and also having a high blood pressure episode that put her into the hospital for one of the weekends that we went down to Louisiana. Her blood pressure suddenly went extremely high so she is now on new medication to control that. She is by herself while her son is in the hospital. They have been taking care of each other for many years now. She now has a Life Alert button to wear in case she gets into trouble by herself. She has high blood pressure and a heart condition. 

Because of the stress of worrying about both of my in-laws and the 3 trips back and forth to Louisiana over the past month with 2 of those trips also being working trips with my husband with me helping him stripe parts of 9 parking lots spread out over 2 Sundays, last Saturday night, my forehead above my right eye started itching. By Monday morning, most of my forehead above my right eye was swollen and itching and had little blisters. On Tuesday morning I called and got a doctor's appointment because the area around my eye was beginning to swell too. My husband thought I had poison ivy. The doctor says it is another episode of shingles and gave me a steroid shot and pills to take 5 times a day to stop any nerve pain. I also have a steroid cream that I have been using for 2-3 times a day. With the shot and the cream, the itch and the blisters are much better today. 

As an incest survivor and a survivor of my dad's rages when I was a child, I lived in almost constant fear and stress. I wasn't aware of that stress or how it affected me until I got into my healing journey. I was 19, the first time I actually remember feeling and acknowledging that fear. With all of the healing that I have done over the years, I still don't know how to let go of stress. I carry it in my body until I get sick with pneumonia like 3 Thanksgivings ago or I get shingles like now. This is my 3rd episode in the past 2 years. This is something I need to look at and research so that I can stop this from being a pattern for me. I don't want to get sick in order to get my attention. Has anyone got any suggestions or ideas as to how I can deal with stress better?
Patricia

2 comments:

Kadeeja Mohamed said...

Whenever the body is close to depleting its energy, it gives us indications and if we rest during this time, illness can be prevented. But people who have been abused by their parents unconsciously carry the belief that they do not deserve to look after themselves and hence overlook the signs and carry on taxing themselves until they drop down sick and unable to go on. Through constant awareness, this cycle can be broken.

When abuse survivors start delving into their past and opening themselves to the unconscious pain, there will be a lot of anxiety. If you can remain very alert, aware, present in the moment, detached and take your attention deeper into this feeling of anxiety, it may suddenly disappear and you may be able to access the bliss beneath. May God bless you and help you heal faster. Peace.

Patricia Singleton said...

Kadeeja, What you said is so true. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. It is a lesson that I am still working on in my own life.