Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Our 38th Wedding Anniversary

Today Daniel and I have been married for 38 years.  We are spending most of the day together to celebrate.  I was 20 years old and Daniel had just turned 23 years old when we got married.  I look back at our wedding pictures and we both looked so very young.  It was a small church wedding.  I didn't know probably half of the people there.  They were people that Daniel grew up going to church with his whole life.  Daniel's mother and oldest brother were there.  My mom and dad, my paternal grandmother and paternal great-aunt was there.  That was the extent of our family who attended.

It rained that afternoon and the electricity went off for a few hours before the wedding.  It came on as we were in route to the church.  Daniel's oldest brother used my camera and took pictures of the wedding for us.  We were college students without a lot of money.  A week after we got married, we went back to college for our Senior year.

Our Senior year, Daniel and I both had Student Employment jobs to help with our college expenses.  Then we bought a used station wagon from one of Daniel's neighbors from his hometown.  Daniel went to school from 8:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. and then went to work at a plywood mill in the college town that we lived in from about 3:30 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. 7 days a week.  He would get home around 11:30 p.m. and do whatever homework he had for the next school day.  Daniel has always been a hard worker.

We got married on August 25, 1972 and Daniel graduated from Northwestern State University in Natchitoches, Louisiana on August 3, 1973 a day before his 24th birthday.

We have had good years and we have had hard years with struggles with finances and struggles with my incest issues, especially when I first started dealing with my incest issues in the early 1990's.  Through all of those struggles, our love for each other and later for our children has continued to grow.  Why are we still together after all of these years?  Because we are also best friends to each other.
Patricia

16 comments:

Paula said...

Congrats to both of you. It is quite an achivement. Have many more wonderful years. Hugs across the pond

Hold Fast said...

Congratulations! What a beautiful post. It is such a success story to find a loving partner.

Patricia Singleton said...

Paula, thank you so much. Hugs back to you.

Patricia Singleton said...

Hold Fast, thank you so much. I was talking to my sister last night and told her that only by the Grace of God did I find Daniel and not marry an abusive spouse like so many incest survivors do.

Sonya Sidky said...

You are both fortunate to have each other--enjoy your blessings. Indeed not everyone's life unfolds that way. Something tells me that you worked hard and took courageous steps to get to where you are today.

Happy Anniversary!

Patricia Singleton said...

Sonya, thank you so much. We have both worked hard to keep this relationship on a positive foundation and moving forward. Daniel is the easier one of the two of us to get along with. He has always given me the space that I needed to grow into a better person.

Lance said...

Happy anniversary to both of you!! What a special thing...your love for each other, and the friendship you both share.

Much peace,
Lance

Patricia Singleton said...

Lance, thank you so much. Peace and hugs back to you.

Just Be Real said...

Congratulations. Blessings.

Patricia Singleton said...

JBR, thank you so much for your congrats and blessings. It is appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Patricia -
You are such a guiding light for me right now, and I thank you for that, as I am going thru many of the same flashback regression issues.
But I'd also like to thank Daniel for being such a wonderful example of the caring partners that some of us are lucky or willing enough to allow into our fragmented lives, and who patiently, unselfishly help us to piece ourselves back together again on a daily basis. To Daniel and my partner Marko, and all the other beloved and committed people out there who hang in with us when nobody else will, and understand what true love really entails, I send my heartfelt blessings. They are truly the unsung heroes of the incest journey.

Patricia Singleton said...

Anonymous, thank you so much for your words of support and for sharing your own courage with me. I will be sure to pass this on to Daniel. He truly deserves an award of some kind. He is such an important part of my life and my journey. He may not always like or understand what I am going through and how it affects him but he has always been there supporting and loving me through every step. He definitely is an unsung hero of my journey through incest.

We are blessed to have Daniel and Marko in our lives. Being a partner/spouse/lover of an incest survivor is rarely easy. I know that often through the years I have tested the width and depth of Daniel's love, his patience and his compassion. How do I explain to Daniel what I don't always understand myself? There are no easy answers to the struggles that an incest survivor goes through.

Incest recovery is a long, hard road of self inspection and mind frightening change. Having an open heart and trusting in our love and the endurance of our relationship is a miracle in itself.

Thank you for the blessings. They are much appreciated. I also send you hugs and blessings for your continued relationship with Marko. Marko, thanks for being the man that Anonymous needs you to be.

Colleen said...

Happy Anniversary! My hubby and I are best friends too! That makes all the difference sometimes!

Patricia Singleton said...

Colleen, thank you. I agree that friendship sometimes makes all the difference in a marriage.

katie said...

hi patricia :)

happy anniversary indeed! it's so inspiring hearing about your relationship and how you've struggled but grown together and that you're best friends.

wishing you and your family all the best!

Patricia Singleton said...

Katie, thank you for the well wishes. It was a great day. Sometimes it seems we have been married forever and sometimes it doesn't seem so long ago. The struggle has drawn us closer together. I thank God for that. A sense of humor, which both of us have, also helps.