Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Fear Is My Friend

Today I refuse to let fear stop me. It may still occasionally slow me down until I gain an inner awareness of what I am doing.

Courage is making fear your friend rather than letting it control you. Making fear your friend means acknowledging it for what it is. Now is the time to say, "Hello Fear, here we are walking hand in hand again. Thank you for showing me that something needs to change."

Most of you face challenges every day. Sometimes the challenges come out on top. Other times, you come out victorious and stronger for facing the challenge. Facing the challenges and fear is what the lessons of Life are all about. Do not allow fear to stop you from living your life.

Conquer fear and go on to the next day and conquer fear again. Facing fear is what makes you strong. Facing fear is what makes you courageous. Now is the time to say, "Hello Fear. Thanks for making Life such a wonderful adventure of discovery."

To quote Lindsay McKenna in her romance novel---Morgan's Mercenaries III, Maverick Hearts, Man of Passion---on page 141:
". . . 'No one and nothing has the right to stop you on your own path as you become all you can be, Ari.' " (Ari is the name of the heroine in the book that I am reading.)

This is true for each of us. You all have the ability to face your own fears and to become a better person than you were through that effort. It doesn't matter that you are still afraid. Be afraid. Be very afraid. It is ok. Being afraid doesn't mean you are failing or that you are a failure. Sitting still, doing nothing that is failure. Moving forward, even if it is only one step at a time, is success. Life is about being all that you can be. Being all that you can be is your real Life's purpose.

Embrace your fear with Love. That is the answer to every challenge that you face.
Patricia

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Link Love And Raw Foods

Hi. I hope everyone is having a glorious day. Sorry if you are tired of hearing me say that but glorious is one of my favorite words. I have had a glorious day myself.

I have been, most of the afternoon, on my computer playing catch-up with all of the blogs that I want to read but haven't had the time lately to do. What blogs have I been reading?

Stephen Hopson at http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com/

Phillip McCluskey at http://www.lovingraw.com/


Liara Covert at http://www.dreambuilders.com.au/


Lance at http://www.jungleoflife.com/


Teresa Silverthorn of Confessions of a Mystic at http://teresasilverthorn.wordpress.com/


Matt Monarch of Raw Success at http://mattmonarch.blogspot.com/

Dinesh of Spiritual Drifts from The River of Karma at http://driftings.blogspot.com/

Stephen Hopson does these interviews of other bloggers that I just love but haven't been able to keep up with lately. The interviews are brilliantly done by Stephen with a set of questions that he has the person being interviewed answer. Some of his questions really put the person in the hot seat. For example, Stephen asks the person what their dark side is like. I also like Stephen's gratitude articles that he does most Friday afternoons. They inspire me to remember to be grateful and be a better person for it.

Stephen is also the person that is responsible for me deciding to change my eating habits to eating raw foods again. On his blog, Stephen recommended a book by Natalia Rose called "The Raw Food Detox Diet". I bought and read that book plus a second one by Natalia called "Raw Food Life Force Energy." I started reading these books before Thanksgiving and sampled some of the recipes. My efforts were only half-hearted. I wasn't ready to give up my coffee, hot soups, cheese and bread yet. I still haven't completely. At Thanksgiving, with family visiting my house, I didn't eat any raw foods, not even the salad that I made because my brother-in-law doesn't consider it a meal if you don't have a salad on the table. The result was I ate too much of foods that I knew weren't good for me. As soon as everyone went home from Thanksgiving, I got a really bad allergy attack. It might have been bought on by the corn bread dressing that I ate. I am allergic to corn.

Two weeks ago after reading Stephen's blog articles about his own raw food journey and also checking out other sites that are written by raw foodists, I decided to make a commentment to go at least 80% raw in my diet. Today as I sat at my computer cutting up vegetables for a big salad, I sat and listened to videos on raw eating that Stephen sent me to in one of his articles. You can find these videos at the following website of Philip McCluskey at Loving Raw:
http://www.lovingraw.com/vide-series/ . While you are visiting the site, check out Philip's blog on his amazing 200 pound weight loss eating raw foods. I just started reading Philip's blog today.

Here is a list of some of the books on raw foods that I now have in my library in my home:

The Raw Food Gourmet, Going Raw for Total Well-Being, written by Gabrielle Chavez

The Raw Truth --- The Art of Preparing Living Foods --- , written by Jeremy A. Safron

The Raw Gourmet, written by Nomi Shannon

Living in the Raw Gourmet, written by Rose Lee Calabro

Green For Life, written by Victoria Boutenko

Rawsome, Maximizing Health, Energy, and Culinary Delight with the Raw Foods Diet, written by Brigitte Mars

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eating Raw, written by Mark Reinfeld, Bo Rinaldi, and Jennifer Murray

Here is one on Juicing:

Juicing for Life, A Guide to the Health Benefits of FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLE JUICING, written by Cherie Calbom, M. S. and Maureen Keane, M. S., C. N.

Here are two on Sprouting:

The Sprout Garden, The Indoor Grower's Guide to Gourmet Sprouts, written by Mark M. Braunstein

The Complete Sprouting Cookbook, written by Karen Cross Whyte (I have had this book a long time and it does actually cook most of the recipes but it gives me information about sprouting that is useful.)

My favorite book is Green For Life. It has some delicious smoothie recipes in the back of the book that will keep me experimenting for a long time. It also contains information on nutrition that I haven't read before.

Deb Estep of the blog Deb_Inside has given me some link love today with an article that she wrote about my article "Kindness---Why Is It Easier To Be Kind To Strangers?" Thanks, Deb, you are truly one of the kindest people that I know online. Her article called "Stop Shooting Arrows - Words" is found at:
http://deb_inside.typepad.com/deb_inside/2009/01/stop-shooting-arrows-words.html.

I have gotten some really good comments on my article that you can click on the following link and read:
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/01/kindness-why-is-it-easier-to-be-kind-to.html .

Thanks to all of my commenters on my blog. I am truly grateful to you. Your comments add more richness to my articles with your humor and your wisdom.
Patricia

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Kindness---Why Is It Easier To Be Kind To Strangers?

I have been thinking about kindness this week. I realized that I need to work on being kinder to those closest to me---my husband, my kids, my brother, my sister, my friends. I spent a year practicing being kinder and softer in my outlook on life a few years ago and became a better person for it. It is time to do that again in 2009.

My dictionary says, "kindness n. 1 The quality of being kind; good will. 2 A kind act; a favor. 3 A kindly feeling."

"kind adj. 1 Friendly and helpful: a kind act. 2 Gentle: kind to children. 3 Characterized by friendliness and gentleness: a kind remark. ---Syn. 1. charitable, generous, good, good-hearted. 2 humane, kindly."

Why is it easier to be kind to a stranger than it is to those you love? I think it is because you have more of yourself invested in those you love. A stranger enters your life for just a few minutes and then is gone. You don't always see the change that your act of kindness brought about in the other person. You just know that you felt good for giving that other person a smile, or for taking the time to open a door and letting the other person enter first, or for letting another person go before you in the line at the pharmacy or for giving money to your favorite charity. All of those are acts of kindness that you perform for the benefit of strangers.

Because you have invested your time, your money, your love into those closest to you, you are more afraid of being rejected or disappointed or maybe even ignored and taken for granted if you do those same small things for the people closest to you. Instead of being fearful, remember the advantages of being kind to those closest to you.

When you are kind to others, they are usually kind to you as well. When you are kind to others, you get to see their pleasure caused by your act of kindness. I am not saying be kind to others because of what you will get back. The getting back is just a nice side effect of your actions. Even if the other person doesn't response to your kindness, you still know that you did something good for someone else. I know that these apply to strangers as well as those you are closest to.

In my own way, I am saying that the added benefit to being kind to those closest to you is that you get to see the happiness that you have contributed to in another person that you care about and love. That always makes me happier.

Being kind to others is a great way to express your gratitude for that person being in your life. Expressing your gratitude to that person is in itself an act of kindness. Anything that you do that helps another person feel better about themselves can be an act of kindness.

My act of kindness for you, my reader, is to finish this article before you catch on that I am beginning to ramble. Have a glorious day. It is cold here but the sun is shining brightly so I am having a glorious day of sunshine.
Patricia

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Who You Gonna Change? Why Should They Change?

So many people have the idea that they can get another person to change their behavior or have the idea that, "If he/she loved me, he/she would want to change to please me." Reality is you can't make another person change. You are only responsible for changing yourself, when and if you want to change. Changing the other person doesn't fix your problem except temporarily. Some other person will come along with the same trait, then you are faced with your issue again. The only thing that you can change is your opinion, attitude and reaction. You are the one who has to decide for yourself, "How important is it?" Nobody changes until they want to. Besides, it is your issue not the other person's. So work to resolve your issue rather than to get the other person to change.

If you are in a codependent relationship of any kind, whether it is with a spouse, parent, your child, or just a close friend, I would suggest that you read the book Codependent No More written by Melodie Beattie. The book was first published in 1987 and is still full of valuable information. I first read the book in 1990. I saw so much of myself in that book. It was a real eye-opener. A whole 12-Step movement was built around this and similar books in the 1990's. I don't know if there are still any Codependence Anonymous groups around or not. If so and codependence is a problem in your relationships, I would find a group and attend. Talking about your relationships can help you to see what your part is and what isn't yours.
Have a glorious day.
Patricia