Post About 11-year-old Gang Rape Survivor

Some posts just write themselves, others I just struggle with.  This post is one of those that I am struggling with.  It is a continuation of the posts about the 11-year-old little girl who was gang raped in the town of Cleveland, Texas around Thanksgiving of 2010.  The rapists are still being arrested.  So far the number is up to 18.  One source that I read this week says that number may go up to 28.  The judge has placed a gage order upon the case.  The little girl has been taken from her home and placed in a foster home in another school district, for her protection.  She and her family had been receiving threatening phone calls.

Before I get into my feelings about this gang rape, I want to share two links with you. 

The first one is a link to RAINN which is the RAPE, ABUSE & INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK ( http://www.rainn.org/ ).  Be sure to check out the statistics about victims and sexual assault.  RAINN also has a page called "Reporting Rape" which answers several questions like, "Am I required to report to the police?", "How do I report the rape to the police.", "Is there a time limit on reporting to the police?" , "What if I need time to think about whether I want to pursue prosecution?" and other questions that face a rape victim within hours of the rape.  If you have been raped, please use this resource.

The second is a link to The Journey to Closure blog ( http://journeytoclosure.com/2011/03/08/recovering-from-sexual-abuse/ )  The title of this article is called "Recovering From Sexual Abuse."  It talks about adults recovering from sexual abuse and states that there are some differences for children who were abused.

At The Journey to Closure blog, you are asked "WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE?"
"Sexual abuse or assault occurs when one person forces any unwanted sexual contact onto another person.  It can involve a stranger, friend, partner, or acquaintance.  It can involve any type of unwanted sexual behavior."  This post is talking about sexual abuse or assault of an adult.  The Journey to Closure blog is a great resource if you are male or female and are dealing with sexual abuse.

Why don't we just call it RAPE.  That is what it was for the little girl from Cleveland, Texas but it wasn't just one person.  It was somewhere between 18 and 28.  No one is sure yet.  The police are still investigating.  Gang rape - I cannot imagine the physical and emotional pain, fear and humiliation that this child felt at the hands of her rapists.  It is said that some of these men raped her more than once.  They had the audacity to video record it on their phones and pass it around in their community.  This is how they were caught.  The little girl did not turn them in.  I can imagine how ashamed, fearful and hurt she felt.  The shame of being abused belongs to the rapists but is usually taken on by the victim of the rape.   The shame, which isn't even ours, is what usually keeps us from telling.

This week, I have been collecting newspaper articles online and blog posts that have been written about the 11-year-old little girl who was gang raped back in November of 2010 three days after Thanksgiving.  I have been following this story and sharing it here on my blog because I am so outraged by an article that was written by James C. McKinley, Jr. in the New York Times on March 8, 2011.  In his article, James McKinley, Jr. slanted his words toward blaming the 11-year-old for being where she shouldn't be (a poor part of town, in a car with a 19-year-old, on a playground with teenage boys), for drawing these boys into acts that they wouldn't do ordinarily, and for dressing older than her age.  McKinley, Jr. interviewed several women in the community whose words supported his slanted views of the gang rape away from the men who committed these horrendous acts of RAPE back to the child who was the victim.

In my first two posts about this gang rape, the ages of the rapists were described as middle-schoolers up to a 27-year-old man.   On my Facebook page where I posted about this topic, one person thought that even I was downplaying the ages of the boys/men and in effect protecting them.  If you read that into my other posts, please know that I am sorry for that.  That was never my intention.  These young men do not need protecting they are not the victims here.  They are the ones who should be held responsible for the gang rape of this child.  I finally found an article this week that told me that the youngest of the rapists was 14 years old.  "Middle school" age makes them sound a lot younger than they were.  From now on, I will call the entire group young men.  At my age (59), even 27 is young.  In my book, they are all men and should be tried as such in the courts.

I have found over 20 newspaper articles written about this topic and 5 blog posts.  Here I will share with you 4 of the blog posts.  I thank all 4 bloggers for writing about this topic.  More people need to be made aware of what happened so that we can stop it from happening again.  Stop blaming the victim and start blaming the rapists.

1.  from Tracie blog wrote "Rape is Not Funny" @
http://www.fromtracie.com/2011/03/rape-is-not-funny.html

2.  Dances With God wrote "Cleveland, Texas - Not all gang members wear their colors" @
http://danceswithgod.blogspot.com/2011/03/cleveland-texas-not-all-gang-members.html

3.  Evil Sits at the Dinner Table wrote "Does the New York Times Blame an Eleven Year-Old Girl For Being Gang-Raped?" @
http://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/2011/03/11/does-the-new-york-times-blame-an-eleven-year-old-girl-for-being-gang-raped/

4.  My Brown Baby blog wrote "Gang Rape in Texas:  When Will We Stop Sacrificing Girls In Defense of Black Boys?" @
http://mybrownbaby.com/2011/03/gang-rape-of-11-year-old-in-texas
Near the beginning of this post, I told you that I would tell you how I feel about this whole gang rape situation, so here I go.

I am angry at Cleveland, Texas - at least at the women who spoke in McKinley, Jr.'s New York Times article.  I hurt for that little girl.  She is being revictimized by the community and the newspapers that I have read.  If I lived in Cleveland, I would be ashamed to call myself a citizen of a town that blames this little girl.  Again, I know that not the whole town feels this way but where are the citizens who should be speaking up for this little girl.  I only read one statement from a man that said that what happened was wrong. 

One of the posts that I read this week on the computer came from Reporter Kristine Galvan on my Fox 26 News, Houston.  Ms Galvan visited Cleveland and interviewed Anita Ellis Hancock, the mother of  19-year-old Timothy Ellis who according to his mother was the only one who turned himself in for the rape. 

Hancock asked the question, where was the little girl's mother when the rape was happening?  Isn't turn around fair play?  I want to ask Hancock, where were you when your son was raping this child?  Why did you not teach your son to respect girls and women?  Where did you fail?  That is my anger speaking.  The reality is that Timothy Ellis is responsible for his rape of this child.  Blaming the mothers is another way of shifting the blame away from the rapists.

I was so angry at what Hancock said about the little girl lying about her age of 11.  According to Hancock the only thing that her son did wrong was to not ask for identification to show that the girl was not 17 as he claims the child says she was.  Again, who cares how old that child ( C-H-I-L-D ) was.  Anybody that lives in a small town knows how old every child in that town is, or at least in their neighborhood is.  They believed she was 17 because they wanted to.  The last time that I heard the legal age of becoming an adult was 18, not 17.  Even if the child was 17, she would still be considered a
C-H-I-L-D.    Do you think if I made the letters bigger they would get the message that this little girl is a child, not an adult.  But guess what, even if she was 18 and an adult, gang rape is still rape.

I got so angry at Anita Ellis Hancock during her interview that I was yelling at her on my computer.  Just reading the interview, which you will find here - New Developments in Cleveland Gang Rape Case, has me wanting to do violence of my own to this woman.  This woman cares nothing for the fact that her son was responsible for raping a little girl.  All she is angry about is that her son didn't ask for identification.  Where is her heart?  Where is her compassion for this little girl who her son Timothy raped along with 17 others?

Here is one more blog post that I want to share with you.  If you don't read any of the other blog article that I have posted here, please read this one.  Here is the link to "Little Girl Loved:  A Letter For the Cleveland, Texas Child---From a Black Father Who Cares

@ http://mybrownbaby.com/2011/03/black-father-kicks-off-a-love-letter-campaign-in-support-of-the-11-year-old-gang-rape-victim-in-cleveland-texas/ . 

Thank you Denene@MyBrownBaby for posting this letter on your blog.  Thank you Mr. Nick Chiles for writing this wonderful letter to this hurting child.  Yes, there are black men who protect and love their little girls and who raise their young black men to respect girls and women.  Thank you for reminding us of this.

By the way, something that I didn't find out until a few days ago, the little girl is a Latino and the rapists were all black men.  Does that make a difference? Not to me.  I hope it doesn't to you.  Should it make a difference?  No, rape is rape and rapists are rapists, no matter what color or nationality or what country they are from.  I will leave you with one more question:  Have you taught your children to respect all human beings?  We teach respect by being respectful to others.  Children need to be taught respect for themselves and for others.  If more children were taught this, then rapes and bullying would never happen.
Patricia

Related articles:

Roxane Gay On The Rumpus.net Writes "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2011/03/roxane-gay-on-rumpusnet-writes-careless.html

NY Times Article - James C. McKinley, Jr. Writes "Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town" @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2011/03/ny-times-article-james-c-mckinley-jr.html

The Hope For Trauma Blog Hosts The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse March 2011 Edition

The Hope For Trauma blog is hosting The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse March 2011 Edition can be found at the following link: 

http://hopefortrauma.wordpress.com/2011/03/25/the-blog-carnival-against-child-abuse-march-2011-edition/ . 

The theme for this month's blog carnival is "springtime".  In addition to springtime, you will find articles under the categories of :
Advocacy & Awareness
In the News
Healing & Therapy
Survivor Stories
Poetry

This blog carnival is managed by Tracie from her blog called From Tracie.  Each month Tracie either hosts the blog carnival or finds someone else to do it for the month.  This is a monthly blog carnival that is open to anyone who wants to share their blog posts about some form of child abuse and healing from child abuse.  Click on the blog name From Tracie above to find out more information about submitting to the next month's blog carnival.  You can submit more than one post each month.
Patricia

Dear Whoever You Are That Wants Me To Shut Up About Child Abuse - It Ain't Happening. So Deal With It.

Dear __________ (Whoever you are that wants me to shut up about child abuse and my incest issues - it ain't happening. So deal with it or leave.)

If you don't like what you read here or on my Facebook page or my Tweets on Twitter, you don't have to stay.  You can unsubscribe from here.  You can unfriend me on Facebook.  You can unfollow me on Twitter.  I hope that you stay.  If my topic of incest and child abuse bothers you, look at yourself to see why.  It really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.

I had someone on Twitter unfollow me today because "what I tweet isn't healthy."  I told the person that I tweet my conscience and not someone else's.  Incest and child abuse is not healthy.  The struggle to get healthy isn't pleasant for anyone who lives it or reads about it.  Letting go of being a victim and becoming a survivor isn't easy.  It certainly isn't fun.  Struggling with a past of incest and child abuse takes courage.   You all have that courage inside of you.  You just have to look for it.  Facing is fears is terrifying.  You can do it.

Here on my blog, I share my life story, not anybody else's.  I share my healing journey - what has worked or not worked for me.  That doesn't mean the same things will or won't work for you.  I am an expert on my life, not anybody else's.  Sometimes my words may act as triggers if you are a survivor too.  I feel sad for that but it isn't something that I can control.  If the triggers are too much, you can leave at any time.  There have been lots of times that I wished I could just leave it all behind.  The only way to do that is to do the work of healing.  That is what my blog is a chronical of - my work of healing from incest.

I know that some of you are well meaning and just want me to have a better life, have a little joy in my life, not make you feel so bad by sharing all of my stuff online, in the public eye.  I do have joy and love and a better life because I have spent years writing about incest and talking about it.  If what I write about makes you feel bad, do something about it.  Do your own healing work if that is what is needed.  Look to see if there are any children in your life that are being abused and may need your help.  Help that child by being responsible.  Stop child abuse so that no one else needs to feel what I feel about my past.  You all can take responsibility for stopping child abuse in whatever form it comes to you as.  Child abuse and incest won't stop without all of us doing our part to stop it.

Blogging is just a more public venue for doing healing and stopping child abuse.  By blogging, I am reaching out to other survivors who may have less time healing to share my story of healing with them so that they know they are not alone.  By blogging, I am reaching out to other survivors who are where I am in healing.  We can share our strength and hope with each other and other survivors who aren't there yet.  I am also reaching out to find survivors who are further along on the path of healing than I am so that they can encourage me when I am down and need a friend to help pick me up.  The blogging community of survivors of child abuse is a wonderful, caring, compassionate world of people who understand what it means to be a victim and a survivor.  My blog allows me to discover that the world isn't always bleak and dangerous.  The world should be a safe place for all children.

My next step is to write my own memoir about my journey as an incest victim, survivor and thriver.  I have always known that I would write this book.  The book is inside me waiting for the right time to come out.  I am letting people know that the time has finally come.  I have been telling others online for the past few weeks that the time is near for me to write my memoir.  Other than that, I have done nothing to make that a reality.  I haven't written the first word yet. 

By telling you that I am writing this memoir, I am making myself accountable for sitting down and writing it.  Each time that I take a step toward telling more people about incest, I meet with internal resistance.  That is part of my process.  I am facing the fears that cause that resistance.  I will write my book.

Why do I insist upon telling people my story?  Why won't I just shut up about incest already?  Why won't I just be quiet and let it remain in the past?  Why is talking about incest and how it affects me so important? 

Good questions.  All questions that I have been asked in the past and probably will be asked again in the future.  I will not shut up about abuse for several reasons. 

1.  Other survivors need to know that they are not alone, that healing is possible.  If I, and other survivors, shut up about our experiences then victims and survivors are back to doing it alone.  I won't let that happen.  I was alone in the beginning (late 1970's).  Today with all of the books on the subject and the internet, survivors can connect with other survivors.  We can help each other.

2.  A big part of my healing came from speaking about incest and the family disease of alcoholism.  I did this in counseling some but more so in 12-Step meetings (Al-Anon & Adult Children of Alcoholics & Co-dependency meetings).

3.  My main reason for speaking out about incest is to break the code of silence that my abusers ingrained in me to shut up.  Unless we break that code of silence, we cannot stop child abuse from happening.  Women have been speaking out as survivors for awhile now.  Finally men are in the beginning stages of stepping up and breaking their own silence of child sexual abuse.  As women who have been through this, I hope that other women will reach out to these men and let them know they are not alone in this.  We can and should support each other in our struggles and our healing.

4.  If I am silent about child abuse and incest, then I am condoning it happening to the next generation of our children and I will not do that.  Will you?  Silence doesn't stop child abuse.  Silence is what kept me in the role of incest victim for too long.  I have broken the code of silence and I know that you can do it too.  Until this silence is broken more children will be abused.  Speak out.  Take actions to break the silence and to save our children.

Sometimes it is a family member that wants me to quit talking.  I am grateful that I have the support of my husband, son, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law and mother-in-law.  They respect my need to talk about this topic of child abuse and incest.  With their support, I can do anything.  Build yourself a support system of family and friends who understand your need to talk and share your feelings about your abuse.  Holding these feelings in, staying silent because of fear of rejection just keeps the abuse happening.  People who ask you to stop don't understand.  They don't know how hard it was to speak up the first time and every time after that.  They don't have a clue about the pain and grief that you have felt.

An online friend just yesterday asked me to write a blog post about incest as the number one form of child abuse today.  I told her that I would.  I don't know any statistics on incest being number one but I know that it does happen a lot in all types of families all over the world.  I will see what I can find and keep you updated.
Patricia

Related Articles:

Inspiration, Denial and Incest @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2010/01/inspiration-denial-and-incest.html

Dysfunctional Family Systems @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2010/04/dysfunctional-family-systems.html

Out Of My Comfort Zone---The Third Floor Window @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2009/09/out-of-my-comfort-zone-third-floor.html

"Freedom's Just Another Word" Book Review @
http://patriciasingleton.blogspot.com/2010/04/freedoms-just-another-word-book-review.html

NY Times Article - James C. McKinley, Jr. Writes "Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town"

This article is written about the newspaper article "Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town" which was written by James C. McKinley, Jr. in the New York Times on March 8, 2011.  This article was first brought to my attention in an article by Roxane Gay written at The Rumpus.net and her article "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence." 

In the article "Vicious Assault . . ."the author, James C. McKinley, Jr. only calls this violent act against an 11-year-old girl, still a child, a rape twice.  Mr. McKinley, Jr. instead of calling this act of violence "rape" uses the words: 
"the assault"
"a lurid cellphone video"
"the attack"
"forced to have sex"
"sexually assaulted"
"sexual acts"
These words seem to soften the description of the violent act of rape of a child.  I don't know if he consciously chose to slant the perception of his readers or not.  I pray that he didn't.

"Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town" should be more focused on the rape of an 11-year-old little girl.  She isn't even a teenager yet.  She is just a child. (I don't intend to mean that raping a teenager is any better.  Read on.)  People in the neighborhood that the rape happened in said that the little girl was dressed like a 20-year-old - as if that makes the rape her fault.  Why do people want to shift the blame to the person who was raped rather than to the person who was the rapist? 

18 men and boys raped an 11-year-old little girl.  These rapists were middle school age boys up to a 27-year-old man.  I do not understand the gang rape mentality that has someone thinking that raping by a group is okay.   Why does the author mention the age of the little girl but only says the boys were middle school age and beyond?  What age were those boys?  Were they the same age as the little girl or older?   Again the slant is toward softening the readers view of the rapists.  The reader isn't told how old the boys are specifically like they are the age of the girl child.

Mr. McKinley, Jr. says in his article that someone wondered "how could their young men have been drawn into such an act?"  Again the article is written to shift the blame to someone other than their "young men."  Who would they rather blame?  An 11-year-old child who was ordered to remove her clothes or be beaten?  What choice did she have in that situation?  Can you imagine how frightened that little girl was?  Can you see her in that room surrounded and alone with a group of boys and men intent upon only one thing - raping a defenseless little girl?  Sadly, I can imagine it.

As the 18 boys and men were raping the little girl, some of them used their cell phones to record the rapes and passed those videos around to their friends who had cellphones.  One of these videos was the reason they got caught.  A classmate of the little girl showed the video to a teacher who reported it to the principal who called the police. 

One of the residents of the town of Cleveland, Texas (the Texas town that was shaken by this vicious assault) said " 'It's devastating, and it's really tearing our community apart.' "  What about the little girl who was physically torn apart by the continual rapes done to her by 18 boys and men?  What about the innocent little girl who was taken away from herself by the rapes?  The rapes killed some part of the soul of that little girl - a part of herself that she will never get back? 

In another article on this subject, I read that the little girl was taken from her family and placed in foster care - for her protection.  What does that say to the little girl?  The whole rape thing was devastating to this little girl. She will never forget what happened to her that day.  If she is like most rape victims, she will blame herself, especially if she reads this New York Times post.  Why didn't the author of this article, yes you Mr. James C. McKinley, Jr., find someone who would speak up for this little girl and her pain?  For the town to be split, there had to be someone who took the little girl's side and blamed the rapists rather than the little girl.  Where are their comments?

According to the article, the rapists are no longer in school.  Neither is the little girl who would probably be in about 5th grade.  She was moved to another school district where she knows no one.  In addition to be taken away from her parents, she lost any friends she may have had that could have supported her.  Can you imagine how frightening it is to move to a school where you know no one?  Do the authorities think that the story of the rapes won't follow her to the new school?  When it does, this child is totally alone with no one to support her.  She probably blames herself for being taken from her parents and for being moved to a new school.  This hurting child has no friends and no family to support her because she was placed in foster care - another instance of punishing the victim in order to protect her. 

When is society and the legal system going to stop re-victimizing victims like this 11-year-old child for their own rapes?  This victim is a lonely, frightened little girl.  Imagine if this was your child, your daughter.

This child did not lure anyone into raping her.  She is only 11 years old.  Even if she has breasts already and dresses like an older girl, she is still only 11 years old and a child.  No matter how much make up she may be wearing, she is at that in-between stage of being more child than woman.  She is experimenting with who she is - trying to find her way in the confusing world of pre-adolescense, no longer child but not yet woman.  She craves attention and probably feels all grown up when she gets the attention of a boy older than her.  This is normal for a pre-adolescent girl child.  It doesn't make her a slut.  It doesn't mean she is "asking for it" to get into a car with a man who shows her some friendly attention.  As a child, she doesn't see his sexual motives for asking her to get into the car with him.

The child didn't rape anyone so why does society want to blame her.  The one who is raped is the victim, not the rapist.  I don't care what age the rapist is, they are the abusers, not the victim.  The person being raped is the one who gets the life sentence of fear, hurt, sadness, and loss of innocense.  This child is the one sentenced to problems with her body because of all of the physical damage done by being gang raped by men who are much larger than her in size.  This 11-year-old little girl is the one who will have emotional scars for the rest of her life in the form of flashbacks, depression and maybe even PTSD from the torture of being raped over and over again. 

Where is the concern for this child expressed in this New York Times article?  How could the newspaper or the author of the article be content with releasing this story to the public when it is so obviously slanted toward the rapists and how they will be affected by the rape of an 11-year-old child?  Who is standing up for the child?

I can understand some of what this child felt because I was raped at the age of 11 by an uncle on a weekend fishing trip.  Yes, I got into the car with him and went on the fishing trip because my mother told me to.  I didn't want to go on the trip.  I already knew something wasn't right but nobody asked me if I wanted to go.  I was told to mind anyone in authority and that meant all adults.  I didn't know about sex.  I soon learned all of the things that this poor 11-year-old child is dealing with now because of the rapes.  I know how painful that first time was with just one man raping me.  I can't imagine the horror and the terror of being raped by 18 men.  Someone please take the side of the child.  She is the victim.
Patricia

Roxane Gay On The Rumpus.net Writes "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence"

I was on Twitter last night and tweeted an article from The Rumpus.net named "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence".  Click on the name of the article to go read the article.  Come back here when finished reading. 

Warning:  A rant is coming.  The article may also trigger abuse survivors to anger or rage.  The post is worthy of reading and will educate all of us about how our society views rape and its victims today.

"The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" was written by writer Roxane Gay in response to a New York Times article written by James McKinley, Jr. entitled "Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town".

I only read the first part of "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" before I went to the end of the article and left the following comment:

"I could not read all of your post.  I am so angry that anybody would dare to blame an 11-year-old girl for her own rape.  I don't care what she was wearing or not wearing, she is a child.  Who cares what is going to happen to those boys who raped her.  They probably won't get what they deserve with our court system being what it is.  They should get a life sentence because that is what the 11-year-old just got - a lifetime sentence of feeling betrayed, not trusting, blaming herself, having to deal with what other people think, a lifetime of being afraid, of feeling ashamed because of what was done to her.  How have we failed to teach respect for women in our society?"

A few hours after leaving the above comment, I went back to The Rumpus.net and finished reading the article along with all of the comments by Ms Gay's other readers.  I am glad that I did.  Ms Gay expresses how society has become desensitized to rape and how its victims are affected.  I have been saying for many years that all of the violence that children and adults watch on TV and in movies helps to build up a tolerance for violence.  I personally believe desensitization toward violence is one reason that bullying is so out of control now.  I believe this same process has made society not as sympathetic toward rape victims as they should be.

I thank you Ms Gay for writing this article.   I applause all of the commenters at the end of the article who defend the 11- year-old girl.  An 11-old-girl is a child by anyone's standards.  Please remember that.  A child is never responsible for their own rape.  Neither is a 20-year-old or an 80-year-old woman or man.  Yes, rape does sometimes happen to boys and men.  Rape is not about the victim.  Rape is about the rapest and his/her need to control and humiliate another person.  Rape is not about sex.  Violence and control are why rapes happen.

My next post will be about the original article by the New York Times - "Vicious Assault Shakes Texas Town."
Patricia 

Why You Shouldn't Forget After Forgiving

Oprah.com sent out a recent newsletter with the topic of 8 Ways to Forgive and Forget written by Karen Salmansohn.  In the title of the post, Ms Salmansohn tells you to forgive and forget.  Forgetting isn't mentioned again in her post except in the beginning sentences:

"Letting go of anger and bitterness can work wonders for both your attitude and your health, not to mention your relationships.  Karen Salmansohn offers you eight ways to start forgiving and forgetting."

Forgetting minor incidences happens every day for most of you.  Almost without thinking about it, you forgive and then forget about so many small things that happen in your day.  What about the big stuff? 

Should you forget after forgiving someone for raping you?  Should you forget after forgiving someone who always crosses your boundaries?  Should you forget after forgiving someone who molested you for years when you were a small child?  Should you forget after forgiving someone who is still actively drinking and abusing others while they are drunk?  Should you forget just because someone apologized and said they wouldn't do it again?

No you shouldn't forget any of these abuses.  You can forgive the person but don't forget their actions if they are dangerous or still abusive to you or to others.  If you forget about child abuse, how can you stop it from happening again?  If you forget that a person is a pedophile, how can you make sure that they don't hurt other children?  If you forget about child abuse in the process of fogiveness, you can't stop it from happening again.  If you forget what was done to you as a child, how can you possibly not pass it along to your children? 

With forgetting comes loss of awareness.  Without awareness, nothing changes.  Some things need to be changed.  Some things must be changed in order for you to stop child abuse from being forwarded to the next generation of children.  It is your responsibility to do what is needed to make people aware of child abuse. 

Child abuse is never okay.  Forgetting clears the way for child abuse to continue and to claim new victims.  The same is true for domestic violence.  Don't forget either.  Victims die when you forget.  Be aware, don't forget.  You can forgive without forgetting.  Change happens one person at a time.
Patricia

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse - February 2011 Edition Is Out

Paul at Mind Parts blog is hosting two carnivals this month.  One is Expressive Arts Carnival No. 8: Your Truth which is a collection of art used this month to "create an image of your truth," to use Paul's words.  I hope that you will go and check out this brilliant collection of art work using different mediums done by survivors of abuse.  Thanks Paul for creating this carnival and hosting it each month.

The second carnival that Paul is hosting is Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse - February 2011.  The theme for February for this carnival was also truth.  This month's carnival has 20 submissions for you to read, two of which are mine.  The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event.  It is open to anyone who wants to share their stories of childhood abuse in any of its many forms whether it be physical, emotional, verbal or spiritual abuse.  They are all open topics for discussion.  Child abuse is a serious issue in the world today.  The purpose of both of these carnivals is to help raise awareness of child abuse so that we can eventually stop any future generations of children from being abused.  Some of these child abuse issues are difficult to read but living it was worse.
Patricia