tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post7015180726615189687..comments2024-02-13T05:21:26.676-06:00Comments on Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker: Loving Yourself First Is Being RealPatricia Singletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-45663844737274603262010-04-11T17:19:57.828-05:002010-04-11T17:19:57.828-05:00Baker, thank you. Your words are very true.Baker, thank you. Your words are very true.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-74616267722764433852010-04-11T16:48:32.766-05:002010-04-11T16:48:32.766-05:00I agree, loving yourself first is the biggest step...I agree, loving yourself first is the biggest step to loving others. We are here and deserve all the good that continues to flow into our lives. It is about allowing this to flow within first.Bakerhttp://www.bakerthebrand.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-16497268845609136992010-03-31T11:04:16.498-05:002010-03-31T11:04:16.498-05:00Marj, thank you. You are an easy person to suppor...Marj, thank you. You are an easy person to support. So is the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-16544090262586331602010-03-31T10:59:58.642-05:002010-03-31T10:59:58.642-05:00Hey, Patricia! Love the new, bright layout. Nice...Hey, Patricia! Love the new, bright layout. Nice!<br /><br />This post, I also love. This is such a HUGE survivor issue. It is so basic and applies to every relationship in life. I still struggle with this one, but I've gotten better at it since I had my own child. I realized that if Mommy's well is dry, I have nothing to give my child. I've learned, over the years, to fill my well--to feed my spirit--and that this is actually a gift to myself AND others, not a selfish act at all.<br /><br />One thing I love to say is that being "self-centered" is no crime; it's actually exactly what we need to be: centered in the self. We center, and then we can radiate out to others.<br /><br />Great post! Thanks so much for letting us use it for the blog carnival. I so appreciate your ongoing support and participation! :) xoxoxoMarj aka Thriverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06825698906631474866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-87792895282937606172010-02-26T09:58:29.637-06:002010-02-26T09:58:29.637-06:00JBR, You are welcome and blessings back to you. Y...JBR, You are welcome and blessings back to you. You deserve to be there.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-5210984130858230312010-02-26T06:02:17.229-06:002010-02-26T06:02:17.229-06:00Pat, I am getting there. Thanks for the inspiring...Pat, I am getting there. Thanks for the inspiring message. Blessings.Just Be Realhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15815210059310140144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-51731334010954247382010-02-25T22:24:09.638-06:002010-02-25T22:24:09.638-06:00Colleen, thank you and you are welcome.Colleen, thank you and you are welcome.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-39077062005958655952010-02-24T21:49:24.976-06:002010-02-24T21:49:24.976-06:00April, you got it. Without love there is no real ...April, you got it. Without love there is no real connection.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-5041011899541072852010-02-24T16:08:24.989-06:002010-02-24T16:08:24.989-06:00Yes, yes, yes!!! The more we are able to love our...Yes, yes, yes!!! The more we are able to love ourselves, the more we have to offer others as well. The more we can love ourselves, the less we feel we need to hide who we are and it is in that authenticity that true connection occurs.April_optimisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04264149241673287909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-22289192228752749232010-02-24T14:50:30.778-06:002010-02-24T14:50:30.778-06:00Shen, yes, I learned a lot about myself in CoDA ye...Shen, yes, I learned a lot about myself in CoDA years ago when a friend of mine started a small group here where I live. As I have said before the 2 books that added the most to my initial growth in recovery were Melody Beattie's Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency. I recently purchased them to share with a friend. I gave away my original copies to another friend years ago.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-65555725843214241262010-02-24T14:22:48.581-06:002010-02-24T14:22:48.581-06:00Great post. What I get from it is the same thing I...Great post. What I get from it is the same thing I am getting from CoDA: I have to love myself before I can love anyone else or expect them to love me. <br /><br />I never understood the "good side" of being vulnerable because being vulnerable had never been a good thing, in my child hood. <br />But being vulnerable is necessary to "real" relationships. <br /><br />I remember saying to my first therapist, "Nobody talks to me about anything important".<br />Well of course they didn't! I never shared anything more personal than the weather, why would they share with me?<br /><br />In addition, I would feel hurt when people didn't know what I was feeling, even though I didn't tell them.<br /><br />Its a crazy thing, this closing off that happens after abuse. It is a long road to the point where we can feel safe enough to share who we really are, but it is such a worthwhile path to take.Shenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16635993168913490929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-38146606654459465482010-02-24T10:54:08.643-06:002010-02-24T10:54:08.643-06:00Speck, I remember my own difficulties with learnin...Speck, I remember my own difficulties with learning to love myself and take care of my own needs instead of expecting others would do it for me. <br /><br />Many churches talk about sacrifice and service to others. What they don't tell you is that unless you take care of yourself and love yourself first, you don't have much, if anything, to give to the church or others when you are empty.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-44988981023835616932010-02-24T04:54:14.680-06:002010-02-24T04:54:14.680-06:00Hi Patricia, thanks for this post. I am really str...Hi Patricia, thanks for this post. I am really struggling with the self love/loving others dilemma when it comes to choosing what jobs I am going to do this year. It can be a very complicated subject, even when we have a better idea of how to love ourselves. I will be writing about it more on my blog the next chance I get. I think survivors do have a tendency to think of others first or to be martyrs or self-sacrificing and a lot of religions teach this as being a worthy thing to do. So, I think it can be a difficult balance sometimes. I am noticing I am being pulled a lot between having to look after others and needing to look after myself. All the best.speck of dusthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11186894112123114159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-91100870269766165132010-02-23T11:50:54.626-06:002010-02-23T11:50:54.626-06:00Katie, thank you. This was a draft that I started...Katie, thank you. This was a draft that I started about 6 months ago and never finished. I went to my blog earlier to write about another topic and saw the beginnings of this draft. <br /><br />As I read what I wrote 6 months ago, the words started to flow until the article that you see now was the result. I still haven't written on my original topic. When the words flow as this article did, I trust the flow and post it. I love it when that happens. Those are some of my best articles.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-57236214057970608482010-02-23T11:41:31.720-06:002010-02-23T11:41:31.720-06:00hi patricia~ a beautiful post. thank you for writi...hi patricia~ a beautiful post. thank you for writing it. <br /><br />when i used to hear that you have to love yourself first before you can be loved, i used to take that in a bad way. i thought it meant i had to have all my problems solved, be healed from my past, be perfect, before i DESERVED to be loved. <br /><br />but i think now that we don't have to be all healed or perfect IN ORDER to be loved. i think instead, that as we heal, and learn to love ourselves, we will be more able to feel and accept the love that other people have for us.<br /><br />without that, it is like you say, our hearts might be closed. we might not be able to accept that we are truly loved. we may test people endlessly, looking for the proof that one day they will leave us, just as we fear. we may do things for people that is us acting like we love them, but we may be fueled by the desire to "get" love in return, we may have strings attached. we may resent them if we don't get back what we are trying to get. <br /><br />i've been thinking a lot about this lately. so reading this post is reinforcing what i was already thinking about. the importance of self-love. the good kind. not inflated, self-absorbed egocentrism. the healthy kind of love. where we can pat ourselves on the back, and be gentle with ourselves. and when people tell us they love us, we believe it~<br /><br />wishing you well today and always, patricia. thank you for all you do!me as i amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14709343968813770150noreply@blogger.com