tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post5542440120747599277..comments2024-02-13T05:21:26.676-06:00Comments on Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker: Dr. Phil Show on "Forgiving the Unforgivable"Patricia Singletonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-64373733512319428032011-06-02T21:48:40.771-05:002011-06-02T21:48:40.771-05:00Pastor Sharon, it was difficult to watch because t...Pastor Sharon, it was difficult to watch because the mother never once admitted to the abuse and neglect that she caused or went along with from her husband. I wanted to slap the woman, shake her and make her see her part in this. You could tell that the oldest daughter had some therapy but the youngest daughter had not. Watching it affected my stomach too.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-56257909621672201452011-06-02T21:17:49.364-05:002011-06-02T21:17:49.364-05:00Oh, this just caused my stomach to tie up in knots...Oh, this just caused my stomach to tie up in knots reading it.<br /><br />Literally, I feel like I have just finished a work out at the gym on my abs. This must have been excruciating to watch. It sure had to have been that way to live through it.Sharon Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00695395104518983907noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-14220254710196733982011-05-22T00:51:23.163-05:002011-05-22T00:51:23.163-05:00Meg, you are very welcome. Congratulations on hav...Meg, you are very welcome. Congratulations on having the courage to confront your mother. I know how hard it is to confront a parent. I feel sad that she says she doesn't remember. How convenient for her. I wish it were so easy for us. It isn't. You have taken an important step with your letter whether she remembers or not. Good for you.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-68271658701155294142011-05-21T21:42:11.770-05:002011-05-21T21:42:11.770-05:00Thank you for posting this. Last week I sent a le...Thank you for posting this. Last week I sent a letter to my mother confronting her for not protecting me from her boyfriend. I didn't have the courage to confront her about her own abuse of me. I just received a response letter from her two days ago. She doesn't "remember" me being abused. This post was actually a comfort that my mother is not the only one that denies my reality. Thank you.Meghttp://muddyfingersmeg.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-50166924994383419642011-05-15T19:24:44.352-05:002011-05-15T19:24:44.352-05:00Colleen, thank you for your comment and continued ...Colleen, thank you for your comment and continued support. My mom was the loud drama queen that Kathy was on this show but still she didn't see what she didn't want to see either. I warn you, this show is not an easy one to watch.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-27134990753421967572011-05-15T16:27:16.851-05:002011-05-15T16:27:16.851-05:00Barbara K, thank you for your supportive comment a...Barbara K, thank you for your supportive comment and you are very welcome. I do all that I can to speak out and help others recognise child abuse and the harm that it does to our children. Many of us still carry the scars into adulthood. I agree with you that Kathy should have been arrested and charged with child abuse too.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-9319226869895871302011-05-15T16:04:56.725-05:002011-05-15T16:04:56.725-05:00As the mother of a survivor, and a staunch advocat...As the mother of a survivor, and a staunch advocate against child abuse, I wanted to read what what "Kathy" had to say. I know that I did not know. Hindsight shows you a lot, and I also know that in my case I believed my daughter, doubted myself, and believed the many counselors and doctors who also "missed" it. That is why I wrote the poem,"The Cry I Never Heard Still Haunts Me". Kathy should have been convicted of sexual abuse. There was no other explanation for what she saw. In my case, it is what I did not see, and because my own father was wonderful, I doubted my "God's Whisper". Never again...never again. Kathy needs to come to terms with her own psychological and emotional abuse that allowed her to knowingly support a pedophile and not her own babies. The road is difficult with support, but to know that your own mother does not "get" it, is insufferable. Thank you for providing this window, Patricia!by Barbara K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14637656715291913192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-15430115082185739052011-05-15T13:29:02.149-05:002011-05-15T13:29:02.149-05:00Alethea, thank you. I agree with your evaluation ...Alethea, thank you. I agree with your evaluation of the mother on this show. She was playing Drama Queen 100% and wasn't interested in what her daughters were thinking or feeling at all. It was all about her. <br /><br />There was no real sorrow or remorse for the part that she played in the sexual abuse. She is a great example of a mother putting her own needs first over that of her children. She was so afraid of being alone that she was willing to ignore the fact that her daughters were being molested. She saw the sexual abuse happening with her own eyes and chose to do nothing, say nothing to stop because of her own fears. She could have stopped the abuse and protected her daughters and she chose to do nothing. She didn't even ask what was going on. She did not want to know.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-62869823096111774612011-05-15T11:49:51.187-05:002011-05-15T11:49:51.187-05:00Hi Patricia. I personally did not see any sorrow i...Hi Patricia. I personally did not see any sorrow in that woman on Dr. Phil. I saw much self-centeredness and self-protection. I saw a selfish woman who cares more about herself than anyone else in the world. She yelled, 'Oh God, forgive me' but it appeared fake to me, as if it was what she thought she should say, not what was real. And you are 100% correct. She did not ask her daughters for the forgiveness. <br /><br />When I told my mother about the incest, she denied it and years later, denied it again in a very self-protective way, and she sounded a lot like that woman on TV when she said, "I didn't know about any abuse!" But my mother knew, and so did that woman on TV.<br /><br />You are absolutely correct when you say that confronting the silent parent is more difficult. I have heard and read that many times, the abuser is much more honest than the silent mother.<br /><br />I applaud you for your strength in confronting your mother. <br /><br />AletheaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-52771675774369532842011-05-15T11:33:28.070-05:002011-05-15T11:33:28.070-05:00DBrannem, there are some wonderful books out there...DBrannem, there are some wonderful books out there on parenting our inner children. Charles Whitfield comes to mind. I don't recall the specific name of the book but I remember they really helped me. I don't own those books any longer. I passed them on to someone else that I thought would benefit from them years ago. It may be time for me to put together a list of helpful books as resources. I will think about that.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-89322477124832612292011-05-15T04:29:01.084-05:002011-05-15T04:29:01.084-05:00Patricia, I applaud your courage and bravery to wa...Patricia, I applaud your courage and bravery to watch and write about this episode - I know it is/was hard for you. In my situation, I feel like my father was the silent parent. I agree with you that it somehow seems harder to think about talking to him about it. There is more than the abuse tied up in that conversation - maybe it's because the betrayal is more than abuse.<br /><br />I found the line "Sometimes we have to give ourselves what we wanted from our parents" extremely impactful. I have never considered this - I will need to process what that means to me.dbrannemhttp://www.brannem.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-81132491538892254322011-05-13T20:35:50.105-05:002011-05-13T20:35:50.105-05:00Darlene, thanks. I am not sure what I am feeling ...Darlene, thanks. I am not sure what I am feeling about this show still. Even writing this blog post about it has stirred up a nervousness in me that I don't quite know what to do with. I am still not good with sitting with intense feelings or even always being able to identify them for what they are. Thanks for your continued support.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-2588929007822981342011-05-13T20:01:41.437-05:002011-05-13T20:01:41.437-05:00Hi Patricia,
I think is is always telling when a p...Hi Patricia,<br />I think is is always telling when a parent won't say they are sorry becuase saying they are sorry would be like an admission of guilt to them. <br />This is a brutal story. The mother standing by him in court was a reabuse to those girls. My mother let one of my abusers (one of her boyfriends) back in the house and it was devastating... the proof that not only didn't she believe me when her own sister caught the guy, but she didn't care enough to keep him away from the house! I never felt safe again after that until I was in my fourties! <br />I don't think I am going to watch this show, but I am happy that you posted about it. YAY for your courage too! Just reading about it and watching the preview you posted on FB made me want to eat! <br />Love, DarleneDarlene Ouimethttp://www.emergingfrombroken.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-68133017168428634652011-05-13T19:37:44.996-05:002011-05-13T19:37:44.996-05:00LadyJTalks, It may not hurt right now that they di...LadyJTalks, It may not hurt right now that they didn't believe you but it probably once did. I feel sad for the little girls that we both were. Thanks for having the courage to share part of your story here. I appreciate you. I believe you.Patricia Singletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14114250171020836470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7679672539901170150.post-6030231204589593482011-05-13T19:19:03.131-05:002011-05-13T19:19:03.131-05:00though my mother was told about what my brothers d...though my mother was told about what my brothers did, most I could say was that the things that happened did effect most of your life. later of course because these conversations didn't happen in front of other family members she seemed to forget we had them. so many other things I guess could have been done but I know the truth whether my family wants to believe any of it or not. doesn't matterLadyJtalkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05180055508382481377noreply@blogger.com